Anaelyn

Masterlist of essays:

My favourite Nik and Laurent fics

“When I started to write Captive Prince I just naturally wanted to explore that kind of biased viewpoint. I wanted to use it as a kind of power in my book. We so often simply believe the hero-protagonist’s view of the world. I wanted to create that kind of classic hero (Damen), but then have his black and white views of the world subverted, have them break down over the course of the book. Laurent I created to be his foil, the antihero to his hero. To construct him, I allowed him to act, then let Damen make assumptions, to generalise, as we all do, to construct reality from own his experiences. Laurent is cruel to Damen, therefore Laurent must be a cruel person. The Regent is kind to Damen, therefore the Regent must be a kind person. Here and there, I seeded contrary information, which the reader notices, but which Damen ignores. Laurent’s men are loyal, well managed, and highly disciplined. Laurent protects others where his limited power allows him to, often at cost to himself. Laurent repays his debts. Laurent keeps his word. I wanted to create a dissonance, a series of false notes to try to make the reader start to doubt Damen’s account. I think a key moment in Captive Prince is when we see Laurent interact with Nicaise for the first time, because Laurent is straightforward and fraternal with Nicaise, against all expectation. I wanted the reader to see that Laurent behaves with others differently than he does Damen. Soon after, Erasmus tells Damen that Laurent is kind. Erasmus and Damen have both made simplistic assumptions about Laurent–although their assumptions are opposite. Of course, we know Laurent is not kind, but we also start to realise–Laurent has a lived reality beyond Damen’s experience of him. These are the first moments of realising –wait, Damen’s narrative is limited. Damen doesn’t understand everything that is going on.”

I keep thinking about Damen not realising Laurent's trauma until the very end because in his mind family is a safe space. Family can't harm you. Family is trust and companionship, family has your back and you have theirs.

damen when he realizes he’s not in a slow burn romance with problematic beginnings, but a complex psychological thriller in which the smartest fictional character i personally have ever encountered has decided to make his life a living hell and also they’re in love with each other but the psychological thriller stuff is way more important to his bitchy blonde nightmare malewife and he is SO down bad and just has to deal with laurent’s mean girls 4d chess petty nonsense bc it’s enrichment for him and damen will kill anyone who tries to get in laurent’s way and he can’t even pick up the very very VERY clear implications of laurent’s trauma that would probably allow them to reach some kind of vulnerability equilibrium in their relationship because he is too busy waxing poetic about laurent’s pretty hair to realize that he was [redacted] and that’s why he’s like this