Another Day

If you don’t leave my office immediately, I’m gonna have to call the insecurity

Whenever I don’t understand a software application I put on my lab coat and start mixing alcohols in test tubes and drink those. For science.

Some day I’ll mail my best friends a framed picture of myself and then never speak to them again

Wonder how tiny insects decide who goes first because poor things can’t even flip a coin it’s too heavy for them

You can tell if two people are into each other by the fact that they don’t look at each other at the same time. First person will look at the other when they’re looking elsewhere, and the other person will check the first person out when they’re looking somewhere else. And this will happen a lot of times, sometimes repeatedly.

Sitting by the artificial fire, reflecting upon my life choices and popping gummy bears in my mouth

Long time ago I used to be an emotional hooker. Now I only hook digitally