deeply normal

people who are like "but with universal healthcare you'll have to pay taxes!!! Up to 8%!!!" Are so funny. Like as opposed to the 16% of my gross paycheck that goes to private insurance, that won't cover shit unless i call my insurance company, then my doctor, then my pharmacy, then my doctor again because theyre pretty sure insurance got approved then my insurance company because they didn't get the letter, then my doctor again, then the pharmacy again, and then the copay i still am on the hook for.

i hope you all think of me not just as your friend but as your mutual who likes your personal post like way too soon after you posted it

I won't ever get over the removal of headphone jacks, or micro sd slots, or cd drives. I won't. Fuck everyone and everything

it never stops being funny that BBC Sherlock blew so much of its astronomical budget on overproduced filmmaking gimmicks and meanwhile Leverage managed to look easily 10x more interesting and dynamic with a budget of $7 and one steadicam operator named Gary

Was trying to make a joke about TV writing to my friend the other day and had to pause and go "...does the phrase 'surf dracula' mean anything to you?"

every day i am thankful to ancient humans for the domestication of the cat. fucking genius idea. agriculture was a good one too btw but you really outdid yourselves with the cat thing

(goverment voice) we need to protect the children from pornography so our plan is to remove their eyes so they would never see something so traumatic. if you are against removing children's eyes you are basically a pedophile

I’m so pro abortion I feel insane hearing any other take on it

Even lefties I know will eventually concede to some situation where they think it’s right to force someone to carry a child against their will as if that’s not one of the most inhumane and cruel situations to put someone in regardless of any other factors

the idea that every summer will be as hot if not hotter than this for the rest of my life is unbearable i need to (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) murder an oil executive

nothing unsettles me more than like a good fic on ao3 with no opening notes and no end notes. nothing but story. who are you? where are you writing from. are you ok. who hurt you

#i click onto the author’s dashboard and open all their other fics looking for notes on them#they are all similarly blank#i go to the author profile. it tells me the author joined in 2014 and nothing else#they have no bookmarks. they have one gift and it’s a bts fic from orphan_account. none of their own fics are bts fics.#this fic has altered me. i leave an unhinged comment then bookmark it and go stare out the window // via @elegantlyloquacious

i think my ideal job is being paid 50$/hour to sit on the computer doing whatever i want at an empty rented office space for mysterious employers definitely running some kind of money laundering scheme and just needing me to keep up appearances of one of their shell companies but im not like, in on anything and no one can charge me for anything

every day i am thankful to ancient humans for the domestication of the cat. fucking genius idea. agriculture was a good one too btw but you really outdid yourselves with the cat thing

tumblr users being generally knowledgeable about phishing attempts and scams and yet not hesitating to click various links from unknown users because they say such things as "spin the wheel to determine your alvin and the chipmunks band persona based on my favorite italian desserts" and we go "heck yeah."

it’s wild to me how there is literally ZERO correlation between what a piece of media is like and what its fanworks are like. 2014 captain america fans were out there writing poetry and full-on academic papers inside of their fics. sonic the hedgehog and my little pony fandoms are both famous for drawing fetishes you’ve never even heard of. les miserables fans spent most of their energy on college aus. there is literally no consistency or observable pattern and it’s incredible

#my theory is that fanworks reflect what people found missing in the canon#so like. sonic and mlp. obviously#les miz want les amis to be happy and alive and goofing around#and uh. mcu fans want the mcu to be well-written (via dicaeopolis)

computer. die young by kesha. loud enough to kill