Hello! I'm Amoeba (they/them, 30s). I write smutty (and not smutty but tbh I'm an adult I'll write all the smut I want) fanfic mostly because I read bad smut one day and got so annoyed I thought "fuck this I'll show them how it's done."
You can find the results of my spite fueled creativity below. I am in no way exaggerating about the spite fueled part. I wrote nearly all of this literally because I read a fanfic, thought "ugh I hate this premise" and then turned around and wrote my own novel about it.
Arcana - Dragon Age: Inquisition, Long fic, Solas/OC. Finished.
This is an entire Isekai fanfic I started because I was sick of Isekais where everyone knew exactly what was going on and also sick of Isekais where people get combative with captors or strangers in a new world because who does that? Like for real, learn some fawn response jfc.
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Astarion and Fen - Baldur's Gate 3, series of one shots, Astarion/Canon non-binary named Tav
This is a series about Astarion and the sweet, dense cinnamon roll thembo that I played as my first BG3 run that he very clearly did not want to fall in love with and yet, he absolutely did. Hard.
This was also fueled by spite. I don't like the smut where Astarion is perfect and sexy because I actually think he's not that good at being sexy. 10 charisma is accurate. He's an extremely attractive, awkward dumbass and I love him for it.
Also I wanted to treat him right. Look at Fen treating our boy right.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
Common Knowledge - Baldur's Gate 3, Gale/Female Tiefling Sorcerer, multi chapter finished
I realized while writing Astarion and Fen content that I love writing Gale's dialogue and inner thoughts. I love that Gale is awkward and even off-putting without realizing it and then will just drop pure, unfiltered rizz.
I wanted him to meet someone that was equally smart and had maybe a chip on her shoulder, and became successful in spite of what people said about her, instead of having the supportive environment Gale did. I also wanted her to be nuanced. Sharp-togued and a bit prickly because she has to be, but compassionate towards other outsiders. Maybe also with some embarrassing, cringe factors about herself, too. She also had to be a sorcerer because I LOVE shitting on Gale as a sorcerer it's so much fun.
Enter Velanna.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
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The FBI cut the phone lines during the 1977 disability rights sit-in. Then they turned off the hot water.
They locked the doors from the outside. One hundred and fifty people were trapped on the fourth floor. Half of them used wheelchairs. The government assumed they would leave.
Kitty Cone was thirty-three. She had muscular dystrophy. Her muscles were failing, but her logistics were flawless. She knew how to organize people.
The federal government had promised to sign regulations protecting disabled Americans from discrimination. The policy was known as Section 504. They printed the promise on paper. Then they stalled. Without a signature, it was just typography.
The protesters entered the regional Health, Education, and Welfare building in San Francisco on a Tuesday morning. They took the elevators to the director's office. They brought sleeping bags and catheters. They informed the staff they were not leaving until the law was signed.
By sunset, the police surrounded the exits. Kitty sat near the windows. She organized the floor plan. She assigned committees for security and sanitation. She kept her medication in a small cooler.
According to federal memorandums released decades later, the strategy to end the occupation relied on medical attrition. The building was not equipped for long-term habitation. The FBI calculated that a population requiring ventilators, specialized diets, and daily medical aides would voluntarily evacuate if the environment became sufficiently hostile. They instituted a blockade.
The blockade went into effect immediately. No food deliveries allowed. No medical supplies permitted through the lobby. Guards stood at the main doors checking identification.
Kitty's muscles deteriorated faster under the physical strain. She couldn't walk. When the phone lines went dead, the fourth floor lost contact with the press. The government waited for the quiet.
Kitty dropped to the floor. She realized the barricades were designed for standing adults. The police had blocked the hallways at waist height. They hadn't blocked the linoleum.
The floors were covered in cigarette ash and spilled coffee. She dragged her body through it. She crawled under the barricades to reach the restricted elevator shafts and unguarded offices.
She carried notes in her pockets. She found a single working payphone the FBI missed. She called the local news desks. She called the mayor's office.
She crawled back. When her arms failed, someone pulled her by her ankles. The Black Panthers heard the news reports. They crossed the police lines with hot meals. The FBI could not stop them without a riot.
They shut off the elevators, so she crawled.
The occupation lasted twenty-five days. It remains the longest non-violent occupation of a federal building in American history. On April 28, the Secretary of HEW signed the regulations without a single alteration.
The protesters left the building the next morning. They went back to their apartments. The Rehabilitation Act regulations laid the groundwork for every accessibility law that followed. The HEW building still stands on United Nations Plaza. The elevators run on a schedule. The doors are heavy glass.
Kitty Cone: the woman who crawled under the barricades.
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I don't want to go too, too deeply into it, but all day I've been thinking about how blatantly unfair and mean everyone is to Solas in Veilguard. (And we all know why, but I'll let that particular sleeping dog (mostly) lie, I guess.)
(I am increasingly bitter about all of this, and while I genuinely enjoyed Veilguard for what it was, and for the catharsis and closure of the Solavellan ending, on repeat playthroughs I am getting really frustrated by the illogical, unsympathetic, and outright cruel way Solas is treated by the narrative. You don't have to like or romance him to see that none of it lines up properly.)
Solas is not an idiot, he knows people are after him and people don't agree with him. But this particular bit is just mean. It feels like it's meant to read as an understanding nod towards the audience. Like a "Yeah we know you hate this guy, we do, too - everyone does."
Let's not talk about the fact that his plan was to actually stabilize the Veil by moving Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain to stronger prisons.
Let's not talk about the fact that Varric bulldozed his way into a magical ritual he didn't fucking understand to pretend he was saving the world (talk about a hero-complex) and distracting the person currently wielding the energy of 8-10 nuclear power plants.
Let's not talk about the fact that Rook and their reckless carelessness are the reason why the ritual failed and Solas threw himself (and the world!!) the only lifeline he could in that moment - a blood magic connection.
No. Let's instead be schoolyard-bully mean to a heavily traumatized man while refusing to hear anything he has to say.
Sure, Rook. You know better than the millennia-old, immortal being trying to sort out your mess.
I bet this line hurt Solas more than he admitted to even himself. Once again willfully misunderstood, misinterpreted, misconstrued, and bitterly reminded of a time when that was his life for centuries.
We continue with this:
Really? Really? Yeah he fucking burned the corrupted lab, Harding. There was and is no cure for the Blight. God-like powers or not ("Come on, be the god she needs." - wtf), he wasn't "too scared of the Blight to do anything" - there literally wasn't anything else he could have done.
This scene makes me so angry. I would pay good money to have access to information what the writers' room looked like on this.
But then again, the whole game is mostly just a complete character assassination of Solas in an effort to a) comfort one man's fragile ego (how ironic, the parallel with Elgar'nan), and b) make the story make sense somehow for people who disliked Solas in DAI.
Sure, let's call Solas a coward for not performing divine miracles on demand. Let's pretend it's willful cruelty or indifference and not a sheer and obvious lack of power.
How fucking cruel to accuse him like this, when this confrontation alone probably ripped his heart to shreds knowing he was responsible for all of it. But instead of empathetic understanding (Rook also caused a cataclysmic event without meaning to and is currently confronted with the consequences of their own actions!), all they do is sneer.
Once again, the game itself is only giving us half the story. On purpose. This "discussion" makes it seem like Solas only wanted to stop Elgar'nan (and only him) because he didn't want to see him in power.
But that's not it. Solas started rebelling and freeing slaves for ideological reasons, yes - but what really pushed him over the edge and towards the creation of the Veil was the Evanuris using the Blight. Something Solas knew would endanger every single living thing in entire world. Not a petty power squabble or a difference in politics - a necessity of raw survival.
The game tries to paint Solas and Elgar'nan as "two politicians", "just like Tevinter nobles", because recognizing that Solas did something necessary nobody else was able and/or willing to do, bloodying his hands and blackening his conscience, and losing his dearest friend and lover over it, would make him sympathetic.
And if there's one thing Solas isn't allowed to be in this game it's sympathetic. Because this is one man's quest for vengeance against a video game character that made him feel a negative emotion once.
(To be Fair And Balanced(tm), you can steer Rook in a sympathetic direction via dialogue - but the companions just always snap back into their default anti-Solas mindset.)
Oh fuck all the way off, Morrigan. Treacherous. Who conned the Warden/Alistair/Loghain into making an Old God Baby for your own ends? Who absconded without a word like a thief in the night, leaving the people you claimed were your only friends behind? Who snuck her way into the fucking Imperial Court of Orlais, only to weasel herself into the Inquisition in hopes of grabbing power and artifacts of a culture that isn't yours?
Oh, what's that? That was necessary? You were protecting yourself and your child?
Hmmmmmh!!!! It's almost as if sometimes, subterfuge is necessary!
I have nothing against Morrigan as a character. I love her. But the way she is wielded in Veilguard is terrible. She's just a vehicle through which the writers (we know who in particular) let the audience know that yes, everyone hates Solas, and the audience's hatred of him is Justified(tm).
Just like her snide little "Speaking from the heart, Inquisitor?" later at the final war council. God, I wanted to punch her. I bet a lot of people felt really vindicated by those lines and Morrigan's behavior, and I bet that was the plan.
(Sometimes I wonder how Trick really, in their heart of hearts, feels about all this. We'll never know, I don't feel I'm entitled to know, I would never ask - but I wonder.)
This whole scene is also terrible. Mostly because some people just don't have enough media literacy and sheer reading comprehension to understand that Solas is doing a bit here.
The game plays it off like he's "finally taking off the mask" - but that's not it. He's playing a character (look at those hands behind his back, he does that when he's insecure), he's performing the role of the villain that Rook needs to see to push them deeper into their own regret. They "lost to the villain and failed everyone". It doesn't work if Solas doesn't play the part. It doesn't work if it's a calm discussion.
Look at his fucking face:
That's not a sneering villain. That's sadness. That's pain. That's guilt. Funny how the character artists and mo-cap people knew exactly what they were doing, even as the narrative tries its damndest to work against them.
And the final nail in the coffin:
Yes, let's get this guy's former literal slave owner to talk him down. Let's act like even now, even millennia later, she is who gets to decide his fate.
Fucking look at this final, complete humiliation. In front of everyone - Rook, Morrigan, Lavellan/the Inquisitor, a bunch of other people - he is reliving all his trauma in real time and forced into submission. Because Mythal tells him to leave it.
As if to tell even an adoring Solavellan audience - who this ending was supposed to be for! - "Look how weak and pathetic your guy is, look how your love wasn't enough, watch us kick him in the ribs one last time!"
Don't get me wrong: I love the moments between Lavellan and Solas. I love his breathless little "Vhenan." I love their kiss. I love how she kneels down to him so their faces are level. I love that he's too afraid to take her hand as they walk through the rift. I love this ending.
I just hate that it all came with one last back-handed kick in the shin for Solas and for the Solavellan-minded player.
Okay. I'm done. I just had to word-vomit this somewhere, finally. I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad for enjoying Veilguard. I'm not saying people aren't allowed to enjoy Veilguard. I myself did enjoy Veilguard ffs. I played it twice, back to back, 160 hours. I have 4GB screenshots and a whole notebook with lore notes. My critique is coming from a place of genuine, deep love for the series as a whole and Solas specifically. So I hope people take it that way.
Maybe I'm just John Brown-pilled, but the way they act like freeing slaves and destroying a system that created immortal. slaves. is somehow a one on one struggle between Elgar'nan and Solas is like... Bro what. Bro extreme violence against slave traders and slaveholders is the moral, compassionate response to slavery??? That's literally what my Rook does. In fact, they killed slave traders too hard and got kicked out of their little abolitionist group (John Brown energy baby). And I'm supposed to believe they wouldn't jump on the Solas train? Or that a Grey Warden Rook wouldn't immediately understand that the Blight must be stopped at ALL COSTS? That's literally their whole thing. Literally. Their whole. Thing.
I don't want to go too, too deeply into it, but all day I've been thinking about how blatantly unfair and mean everyone is to Solas in Veilguard. (And we all know why, but I'll let that particular sleeping dog (mostly) lie, I guess.)
(I am increasingly bitter about all of this, and while I genuinely enjoyed Veilguard for what it was, and for the catharsis and closure of the Solavellan ending, on repeat playthroughs I am getting really frustrated by the illogical, unsympathetic, and outright cruel way Solas is treated by the narrative. You don't have to like or romance him to see that none of it lines up properly.)
Solas is not an idiot, he knows people are after him and people don't agree with him. But this particular bit is just mean. It feels like it's meant to read as an understanding nod towards the audience. Like a "Yeah we know you hate this guy, we do, too - everyone does."
Let's not talk about the fact that his plan was to actually stabilize the Veil by moving Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain to stronger prisons.
Let's not talk about the fact that Varric bulldozed his way into a magical ritual he didn't fucking understand to pretend he was saving the world (talk about a hero-complex) and distracting the person currently wielding the energy of 8-10 nuclear power plants.
Let's not talk about the fact that Rook and their reckless carelessness are the reason why the ritual failed and Solas threw himself (and the world!!) the only lifeline he could in that moment - a blood magic connection.
No. Let's instead be schoolyard-bully mean to a heavily traumatized man while refusing to hear anything he has to say.
Sure, Rook. You know better than the millennia-old, immortal being trying to sort out your mess.
I bet this line hurt Solas more than he admitted to even himself. Once again willfully misunderstood, misinterpreted, misconstrued, and bitterly reminded of a time when that was his life for centuries.
We continue with this:
Really? Really? Yeah he fucking burned the corrupted lab, Harding. There was and is no cure for the Blight. God-like powers or not ("Come on, be the god she needs." - wtf), he wasn't "too scared of the Blight to do anything" - there literally wasn't anything else he could have done.
This scene makes me so angry. I would pay good money to have access to information what the writers' room looked like on this.
But then again, the whole game is mostly just a complete character assassination of Solas in an effort to a) comfort one man's fragile ego (how ironic, the parallel with Elgar'nan), and b) make the story make sense somehow for people who disliked Solas in DAI.
Sure, let's call Solas a coward for not performing divine miracles on demand. Let's pretend it's willful cruelty or indifference and not a sheer and obvious lack of power.
How fucking cruel to accuse him like this, when this confrontation alone probably ripped his heart to shreds knowing he was responsible for all of it. But instead of empathetic understanding (Rook also caused a cataclysmic event without meaning to and is currently confronted with the consequences of their own actions!), all they do is sneer.
Once again, the game itself is only giving us half the story. On purpose. This "discussion" makes it seem like Solas only wanted to stop Elgar'nan (and only him) because he didn't want to see him in power.
But that's not it. Solas started rebelling and freeing slaves for ideological reasons, yes - but what really pushed him over the edge and towards the creation of the Veil was the Evanuris using the Blight. Something Solas knew would endanger every single living thing in entire world. Not a petty power squabble or a difference in politics - a necessity of raw survival.
The game tries to paint Solas and Elgar'nan as "two politicians", "just like Tevinter nobles", because recognizing that Solas did something necessary nobody else was able and/or willing to do, bloodying his hands and blackening his conscience, and losing his dearest friend and lover over it, would make him sympathetic.
And if there's one thing Solas isn't allowed to be in this game it's sympathetic. Because this is one man's quest for vengeance against a video game character that made him feel a negative emotion once.
(To be Fair And Balanced(tm), you can steer Rook in a sympathetic direction via dialogue - but the companions just always snap back into their default anti-Solas mindset.)
Oh fuck all the way off, Morrigan. Treacherous. Who conned the Warden/Alistair/Loghain into making an Old God Baby for your own ends? Who absconded without a word like a thief in the night, leaving the people you claimed were your only friends behind? Who snuck her way into the fucking Imperial Court of Orlais, only to weasel herself into the Inquisition in hopes of grabbing power and artifacts of a culture that isn't yours?
Oh, what's that? That was necessary? You were protecting yourself and your child?
Hmmmmmh!!!! It's almost as if sometimes, subterfuge is necessary!
I have nothing against Morrigan as a character. I love her. But the way she is wielded in Veilguard is terrible. She's just a vehicle through which the writers (we know who in particular) let the audience know that yes, everyone hates Solas, and the audience's hatred of him is Justified(tm).
Just like her snide little "Speaking from the heart, Inquisitor?" later at the final war council. God, I wanted to punch her. I bet a lot of people felt really vindicated by those lines and Morrigan's behavior, and I bet that was the plan.
(Sometimes I wonder how Trick really, in their heart of hearts, feels about all this. We'll never know, I don't feel I'm entitled to know, I would never ask - but I wonder.)
This whole scene is also terrible. Mostly because some people just don't have enough media literacy and sheer reading comprehension to understand that Solas is doing a bit here.
The game plays it off like he's "finally taking off the mask" - but that's not it. He's playing a character (look at those hands behind his back, he does that when he's insecure), he's performing the role of the villain that Rook needs to see to push them deeper into their own regret. They "lost to the villain and failed everyone". It doesn't work if Solas doesn't play the part. It doesn't work if it's a calm discussion.
Look at his fucking face:
That's not a sneering villain. That's sadness. That's pain. That's guilt. Funny how the character artists and mo-cap people knew exactly what they were doing, even as the narrative tries its damndest to work against them.
And the final nail in the coffin:
Yes, let's get this guy's former literal slave owner to talk him down. Let's act like even now, even millennia later, she is who gets to decide his fate.
Fucking look at this final, complete humiliation. In front of everyone - Rook, Morrigan, Lavellan/the Inquisitor, a bunch of other people - he is reliving all his trauma in real time and forced into submission. Because Mythal tells him to leave it.
As if to tell even an adoring Solavellan audience - who this ending was supposed to be for! - "Look how weak and pathetic your guy is, look how your love wasn't enough, watch us kick him in the ribs one last time!"
Don't get me wrong: I love the moments between Lavellan and Solas. I love his breathless little "Vhenan." I love their kiss. I love how she kneels down to him so their faces are level. I love that he's too afraid to take her hand as they walk through the rift. I love this ending.
I just hate that it all came with one last back-handed kick in the shin for Solas and for the Solavellan-minded player.
Okay. I'm done. I just had to word-vomit this somewhere, finally. I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad for enjoying Veilguard. I'm not saying people aren't allowed to enjoy Veilguard. I myself did enjoy Veilguard ffs. I played it twice, back to back, 160 hours. I have 4GB screenshots and a whole notebook with lore notes. My critique is coming from a place of genuine, deep love for the series as a whole and Solas specifically. So I hope people take it that way.
Her fans often talk about how Vivienne became the Court Enchanter for Empress Celene and turned the position from a glorified jester into one with true power and that's why working with the system would have been better etc. etc.
And like. I get where they're coming from. I do. But let's not forget that all of Vivienne's work, a lifetime of scheming, was undone in moments when Morrigan appeared in Val Royeaux. Celene appointed a Chasind witch to be her advisor and kicked her previous pet mage to a curb without so much as sayonara. Because, ultimately, Vivienne is just as caged and powerless now as she was as a freshly caught mage apprentice.
And if that doesn't show how doomed and tragic her quest to change the Chantry and the Circles from the inside was.
One of the things I really love about Vivienne is how realistic in her approach she is and how people really seem to hate that realism in a game.
Vivienne is able to work within current institutions to gain power, protection, and freedom. Part of this is luck: she was not in a highly regressive circle like Kirkwall, she is intelligent, and she is beautiful. She uses that luck to the best of her abilities, which are substantial, makes smart moves, gets important allies by finding her way into the room even when she's not wanted, and that maneuvering and the power and protection it gives her makes her see that institutions and systems can be worked within, and that would be the path of least resistance. No one burns mages at the stake and mages don't kill themselves trying to learn if the Circles still exist to offer community and protection. There's a trade off, of course, but there's always a trade off. She knows that.
And if a mage can be in the Chantry, even the Divine, well, that representation? That visibility? That's going to change minds. And sure, yes, she believes it should be her, but frankly that makes sense. She's the exact kind of mage that should lead. Controlled (and therefore not too threatening), intelligent, invested in the Chantry and these institutions that are so important to people, and that have value in how they can bind people together, and well connected. She is the perfect Divine for her approach. She is the classic "slow but steady change is still change" advocate. She believes in representation and merit.
And she's right in many regards. Mages, like everyone, must be subject to the law. Mages do benefit from being around other mages who understand that lived experience. Mages should be allowed to fully participate in their religion if they choose to. Mages do need extra protection as they are integrated into these systems.
The problem comes when, as OP suggests, the political winds begin to change back because representation within a system designed to oppress only creates the illusion of equality.
In Crip Camp, they play an older clip of Judy Heumann where she says "If I have to feel thankful about an accessible bathroom, when am I ever gonna be equal in the community?β
Vivienne's approach prioritizes minimizing upheaval and discomfort, which has its benefits in that it avoids all out war, it avoids supply chain disruption of vital supplies, it keeps people from feeling too scared because it feels very gradual. But it also kind of asks mages to be thankful about an accessible bathroom. We are not granted humanity by an oppressor by asking nicely but firmly. Humanity is demanded and taken. And Vivienne's easy replacement as court enchanter, her protection and power being contingent on her connection to the Duke, the way she's a feared and almost mythical figure, the way she really isn't allowed to react emotionally, are signs that her method has not truly granted her humanity in the eyes of others.
And I think that rubs people the wrong way because they see themselves in Vivienne and more importantly, in the systems she's trying to work in. They see their own politics and beliefs reflected back at them in this other lens, and it makes them very uncomfortable. Because in a game where the oppression is an abstraction, it's very easy to see that the system itself must be remade and to remake it. But in real life where the system benefits you and it dictates everything about your life and oh man if the system changes too much is my retirement going to tank? What if I lose my footing? Let's not be too extreme now. Really you're just being a little greedy, aren't you? We gave you a seat at the table but if you keep acting like that we'll take it away because you have to earn the seat and--
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A canon interracial couple exists "I just don't see their chemistry" proceeds to fanon ship [insert white character] instead, claiming they have more of a connection.
"It's not their skin color, I just don't like them for some reason, btw, here are my top 5 [insert white actors] I think are better suited"
"Not everything is about race". They say, as they prop up every white character over any character of color.
"Please stop bring race drama into the fandom". Which translates to, I'm comfortable in my racism and don't appreciate any criticism, thanks!
White person, "Yeah, I wrote character of color as an animal, doesn't make me racist".
"I love character of color, here's a fic where they act like as [insert white characters] servant/therapist".
Character of color is such a bad friend for having opinions of their own/taking care of themselves instead of putting their friend [insert white character] first.
A character of color is morally ambiguous or a villain, gets redemption arc. "They're awful and haven't been condemned enough of their crimes". Stans [insert white characters] who did the exact same crimes or was a villain who's redemption arc is praised.
"Can't believe that character of color had the nerve not to die as a selfless sacrifice for [insert white character]".
"POC actress/actor is too ethnic and they'd ruin the character".
"I haven't seen racism in the fandom therefore it isn't there".
"Character of color is the main character of the show sure, but let's be honest, everyone came for [insert white character]
"Character of color is alright but I can only relate to [insert white character]".
Feel free to add more, that you've come across. Sadly, it all runs together after awhile of being in a lot of fandoms. Special shout out to all who helped me with these comments!
A canon interracial couple exists "I just don't see their chemistry" proceeds to fanon ship [insert white character] instead, claiming they have more of a connection.
"It's not their skin color, I just don't like them for some reason, btw, here are my top 5 [insert white actors] I think are better suited"
"Not everything is about race". They say, as they prop up every white character over any character of color.
"Please stop bring race drama into the fandom". Which translates to, I'm comfortable in my racism and don't appreciate any criticism, thanks!
White person, "Yeah, I wrote character of color as an animal, doesn't make me racist".
"I love character of color, here's a fic where they act like as [insert white characters] servant/therapist".
Character of color is such a bad friend for having opinions of their own/taking care of themselves instead of putting their friend [insert white character] first.
A character of color is morally ambiguous or a villain, gets redemption arc. "They're awful and haven't been condemned enough of their crimes". Stans [insert white characters] who did the exact same crimes or was a villain who's redemption arc is praised.
"Can't believe that character of color had the nerve not to die as a selfless sacrifice for [insert white character]".
"POC actress/actor is too ethnic and they'd ruin the character".
"I haven't seen racism in the fandom therefore it isn't there".
"Character of color is the main character of the show sure, but let's be honest, everyone came for [insert white character]
"Character of color is alright but I can only relate to [insert white character]".
Feel free to add more, that you've come across. Sadly, it all runs together after awhile of being in a lot of fandoms. Special shout out to all who helped me with these comments!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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