Depression.. who doesn’t have it, right? the older i get the more i’ve realised that everyone goes through this awful time, some never get through it. But that doesn’t make it any easier. I hate the word ‘Depression’ as whenever I say it, its always met with rolled eyes or weird glances. Everyone experiences it, yet we never want to discuss it. Is it because we can’t handle our own problems so we don’t want to talk about other peoples? or are we just dismissive so we hope it goes away? 

I mean... understand that. I don’t like to talk about it because my problems are my own and I have this stupid thought that i can handle it on my own. i can not. 

With that being said i will always listen and try to help others that are suffering because i know how isolating it is. Some times you just need someone to listen.. sometimes you just need to write a really long post.

2 years ago i went to the Doctor to get some help he said ‘i work part time in a prison! people have it worse than you you know.’ He was very reluctant in giving me anti-depressants and of course i broke down. Not even a Doctor wants to help me?! Ever since then i don’t like to talk about it and it’s just got worse... I have self harmed and even planned my own suicide but for some strange reason just writing my note made me feel so much better. So that’s why i’m writing this long post that no one is ever going to read just to make myself feel better. It’s got so many punctuation mistakes but FUCK IT! 

Instead of a Sherlock blog that hasn’t been used in over a year it’s going to be my outlet. I don’t care if my followers turn to 0 or if no one ever reads or responds. This is my blog. I will do what i want and let all my secrets out.