am gurd i prumiss

the other day I saw a woman distracted driving using the calculator app

Can’t wait to not sleep at all on September 11th

i know ur from the uk(?) but reading this as an american is really really funny

why 😭 it’s about twenty one pilots???? Their new album is out sep 12th????

Ancient scribes detailing horrible events

reblog to feed her notes

How is she doing this

Never ever ever eat raw white onion and then smoke cigarette.

The gnomes beat the shit out of you again?

The gnomes beat the shit out of me again.

ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted a quarter million in unmarked nonconsecutive bills in the next half hour or another hostage gets it

No one tells you that one day you will get older and look around and notice that 95% of ppl who own a dog should not own a dog

"app" is without a doubt one of the deepest evils of the human race. "hello. would you like to be expected to have a bespoke piece of software for every single Brand you might theoretically interact with in a day" <- statement dreamed up by someone who should be drawn and quartered

does anyone know if romantic love is real

no it was actually invented by ao3 to sell more fanfiction!