you can buy a salad glove

recently received Cultural Training which was basically MBTI but for countries. “Americans prefer low context communication while Asians prefer high context communication 🥰 what kind of communication style do you prefer??” and all of our Asian employees immediately go I PREFER LOW CONTEXT COMMUNICATION. I think people forget that immigrants are often not representative of the country that they crossed an ocean to never live in again.

I love when people take the line “y’all don’t wanna hear me you just wanna dance” dead serious as if we are meant to listen to Hey Ya with our heads bowed and our hands clasped contemplating the ephemerance of love

it’s so tragic that only like fifty people were present for smallant punishment misgendering. oh well a moment we will share amongst ourselves forever.

fuck it up miss minecraft…… fuck it up………

remember when my department director came to my desk at 2PM and said I am leaving now 😁 text me if you need anything! and then never came back

coworker who reviews my write ups has bad English (understandable) and also double spaces after periods (unacceptable, ten thousand years dungeon)

i poured boiling water all over my face

the great thing about the muppets is they kneeewwwww they were making those bitches gay af

did sarah z film her latest video bad as fuck on purpose

I need to make more vegan concoctions