you can buy a salad glove

when you think about it the first person to write down a story is like the equivalent of someone going I USED MICROSOFT EXCEL TO MAKE A WEBCOMIC like okay……. I use that for crunching numbers generally but you do you

probably the Jon Bois of their era when you think about it

writing was invented for administrative purposes so really any other use of it is a perversion of the form

Intelligent alien species based on bugs but specifically those moths that don’t have mouths and only live for a week after they pupate. This species’ whole conscious life is actually in the larval phase; larvae are the ones considered people, larvae are the ones with conscious and complex brains who build society, and each instar of the larva is treated as a different phase of life. Larvae become emotionally and socially and cognitively mature without ever becoming sexually mature. When they pupate, they metamorphose into something different and strange and close to mindless, with no mouth and no digestive system, whose only instincts are to mate and then quickly die. Metamorphosis is treated, functionally, like a person’s death, and the imago phase is a kind of proto-afterlife of majestic flight and the continuation of the species. Birth and death inextricably intertwined. Sex is not something people do during their lives, it’s a thing that is done as an imago after you’ve passed on from your life but before you return to the soil in death. Resultant eggs are collected by family members to raise. I think this would be fun.

it’s 11AM on a Monday why am I already burnt out

I mean the answer is I was burnt out on Thursday and weekends don’t magically un-burnout you. lol. ok I’m going to self harm at work now

category five internet misinfo that people have decided giving a pigeon back pets is like animal abuse based on a factoid about parrots. can you think of any differences between pigeons and parrots?

“you can stress parrots out by petting their backs bc it engages their mating instincts” is really a primo internet factoid bc it 1. lets you feel superior about supposed animal abuse and 2. lets you be weird about sexuality. so no wonder people are acting like it applies to FUCKING CHICKENS?????