We just fed her a [telepathically projects the image of a delicious meal into your head], so she's not going to be hungry at the moment.

if someone gets killed by a grizzly bear or a polar bear it’s like “Damn, that’s unfortunate. Luck of the draw.” but if someone gets killed by a black bear you’re like “What did they do to that bear to make it that angry?”

Grizzly bears? You’re usually fine if you’re minding your business but every once in a while one of them decides to go on a killing spree Sankebetsu brown bear incident style and that can’t be prevented in all circumstances. Polar bears? If it wants to kill you, it will decide to kill you and then do it, not your choice. But black bears? My uncle has been chasing the same bear around his property for years Looney Tunes style with no casualties on either end, what the fuck do you have to do to a black bear to make it want to kill you if chasing one with a broom after it was picking your apples does not provoke them to violence?

if i made a video game where you get to pick the gender of the player character i'd make both the options be nonbinary and you can either have they/them or it/its pronouns. those are your only options

wedding dresses are white specifically so that if the bride goes axe-crazy you can rest assured you will see the blood stains all over her and it'll be sick as fuck

we all know that beinq introduced as "???" with a black silhouette as sprite feels qood as fuck BUT. you must imaqine beinq introduced as "!?"

Intelligent alien species based on bugs but specifically those moths that don’t have mouths and only live for a week after they pupate. This species’ whole conscious life is actually in the larval phase; larvae are the ones considered people, larvae are the ones with conscious and complex brains who build society, and each instar of the larva is treated as a different phase of life. Larvae become emotionally and socially and cognitively mature without ever becoming sexually mature. When they pupate, they metamorphose into something different and strange and close to mindless, with no mouth and no digestive system, whose only instincts are to mate and then quickly die. Metamorphosis is treated, functionally, like a person’s death, and the imago phase is a kind of proto-afterlife of majestic flight and the continuation of the species. Birth and death inextricably intertwined. Sex is not something people do during their lives, it’s a thing that is done as an imago after you’ve passed on from your life but before you return to the soil in death. Resultant eggs are collected by family members to raise. I think this would be fun.

I am aware the terminology doesnt exclusively refer to one thing but I lowkey hate how "purity culture" has been watered down to someone hating sex scenes and shipping drama when a lot of it is shit like being told youre going to hell for masturbating or children being afraid to speak up about sexual abuse.

Hi, its me. The warmest creature in the world. I love you. Im the warmest creature in the world and I love you so much and I need to be in your lap right now. Yes, I know about the heat wave. That's okay though because I was already the warmest creature in the world so I don't mind. I love you and you need to let me sleep in your lap right now. I'm soooo warm and I love you sooo much. If you say no you'll be saying no to a thing that love you. Let me sleep in your lap. When I fall asleep I get warmer. I love you

It probably is kind of fun to be a parent bird and find big fat bugs to put in your child’s goalpost mouth. And the more you do it the larger your baby gets, which shows your progress. Mine is reaally big, think I’m going to get a high score this time. It has a unique skin too, I’ve never even seen this one before. Has anyone gotten that one, dark brown and white belly with stripes? It’s not even in my Wrenpedia, it has to be a really special unlock

Show idea: magical girl group but each girl is based on one of the seven heavenly virtues

Mahou Shoujo Psycho Machia set to air fall 426 in an amphitheater near you.