L'âme Conflit

I think it is brave and also very sexy of me to continue living

shout out to all the brave and very sexy individuals who are still here with us despite life being tough. that's extremely voluptuous and your meat is huge

This is super real.

Completely accurate.

@pre-successful America exposed. 

It’s hilarious watching non-Americans react to this with fear because I read it just nodding along like “yes, in fact this is How Things Are, there you go”

If you ask an American how they are and they respond “Super.” that means they want to die

ACCURATE

If they say they’re peachy it means they’re tired of existence

If they say “Living the dream,” it means “please kill me, I hate my job so, so much.”

also “that’s a great question” means “I have no freaking idea”

if asked “how are things going?” and they reply “its going” it means theyre in the middle of a mental breakdown

This feels new despite having lived in America for 20 of my 21 years.

All of these places look like heaven to this duvet princess.

Okay but that first one, I’m not sure y’all understand how deeply-instilled my desire for a cupboard bed has been since the days of David the Gnome.

I love a nook

I became very invested in the successful delivery of those carrots

Gonna need it to get thru a dinner with my family 🥴

Toddlers are so pure. She doesn’t understand that we help her with certain things because she’s little. She thinks that everyone just helps each other like that. So she tries to blow on my food and cut it up for me and tries to help me put on my shoes.

i was giving little wagon rides to a baby around the backyard one day and all of a sudden she hops off and slaps the seat of the wagon telling me to get on because it was my turn and i was like no it’s ok im too heavy and she was like NO ITS UR TURN and kept tugging on my hand so i would sit down. eventually i got on and it was just a little 2 year old trying so hard to push me around on a wagon not understanding why it wouldn’t budge but still so determined to let me have my turn lol

I was pretending I couldn’t reach the balloons on the ceiling to be funny, but then my 2 year old cousin started to push up on my leg to “help” me get up. It was adorable so I every time I had to reach up I acted like I needed help until he tried to pick me up.

@ nasa give me your fastest fucking rocket we need to save tony stark