f

thinking about him possibly moving back to tennessee is both a relief and not. i havent seen or talked to him in months but the idea of possibly never seeing him again scares me when it shouldn’t. all he ever did was use me for rides, money, sex, a place to stay. i was stupid to think that last time actually meant anything i hate myself (:

this is the only place i can think of to just vent lol. my hair has started falling out and pulls out so easily, there’s constantly clumps of it after i shower. lately i dont eat until late at night, ill usually just drink coffee, i literally cant make myself eat if i dont feel intense hunger. im always cold and nauseous. i feel like im on autopilot every day. sometimes i think im getting better and then i look at all the new problems that have developed. the past few months have been so shitty and the only thing getting me through it is having a niece now