Asexuality & Things

There is a grid floating around with incorrect understandings/definitions of asexuality, and when I pointed it out, and explained why it is wrong, I was told it's fine because the definitions they used were "the basic understanding" of asexuality and it's meant for people who already know themselves. Well I know myself and none of that is correctly descriptive for asexuality. Given the many experiences I've had, the "basic understanding" used in the graph is incorrect and hurtful to the asexual community. Don't tell me it is fine because "those who use this already know themselves," because it isn't fine. It continues to perpetuate the incorrect definitions of asexuality. Stop talking over me and my experiences and attempts to bring out a CORRECT "basic understanding" of asexuality.

Also, don't say asexuals who have sex aren't actually asexual. I just proved that allos DO have sex without sexual attraction, so why are only aces held to this "sexual attraction = sexual action" standard? It is a false narrative.

1. Sexual desire is not the same as sexual attraction. Sexual desire is actually libido. The desire for sex does not mean that you have a desire to have sex with someone (aka attraction to a person sexually). Think of this as when you get aroused but you aren't thinking of anyone in a sexual manner, you just get aroused. That is desire for sex. Yes, the two can go together, but for asexuals, there is no attraction for that desire to be directed toward anyone. We do not find people sexually attractive, or we only find people sexually attractive if certain criteria are met, and ONLY then. 2. Your definition of demi is a bit off as well. "Getting to know someone well" is not the same as having an intense connection to someone. Also, just because you have that intense connection, it still doesn't mean you will be sexually attracted to them. It just means that the conditions for your sexual attraction to happen, if it does, have been met. 3. Asexual definition: At least you said "sexual attraction" here, but the problem is you're still equating attraction to desire, and they are not the same thing. See my first point. As for the definition, it is little to no sexual attraction to anyone. 4. Oh god, here's where the big misinfo starts. Graysexual and asexual are NOT the same thing. Asexuality is an umbrella. It encompasses graysexuals AND demisexuals. Graysexual is its own umbrella within the asexual (ace) umbrella, and can encompass all the other microlabels to help people better explain how their sometimes sexual attraction works. They have nothing to do with "one being scientific and one being identity" as you're suggesting. That is 100% false. 5. Asexuality does NOT look at libido (sexual desire). It is sexual attraction. ONce again, see point 1. Desire DOES NOT EQUAL attraction!!!!! I don't know how many more times I can state this without beating you over the head with a mallet via Looney Toons style! Libido issues can be fixed with medication. Asexuality is not a medical issue! 6. My sexual orientation is that I have no sexual attraction to anyone. I do not get aroused by ANYONE. I get aroused, but it is NOT DIRECTED toward ANYONE. THAT is why asexuality IS A SEXUAL ORIENTATION. As you the orientation looks at the focus of your desire or libido. Asexuals HAVE. NO. FOCUS. to their sexual desire! They can have libido, but it is NOT DIRECTED AT ANYONE! This is why I say my sexual orientation is NOPE. 7. Lets get into the split attraction model (SAM) here a bit, because there is a difference between sexual attraction and romantic attraction. Many people feel they are the same, and that's cool, but they really aren't. I know people who have been able to understand their sexuality and romanticism better because the SAM helps them describe how they feel toward different genders. Romantic attraction is different than sexual attraction. This goes along with the next part in you get into which almost seems like you're trying to tie in sexual and romantic attraction to make asexuality about libido, which is incorrect. So people can be demisexual and biromantic. Meaning they feel romantic attraction to their gender and others but they only feel sexual attraction when they gain that deep connection with a person. Some people do choose to use bisexual to describe that because they can have that deep connection to more than one gender, and that's okay, but that doesn't invalidate their demisexuality in the least. 8. Asexuality is a sexual orientation. Since the definition of sexual orientation is who you are attracted to sexually or romantically. Once again, asexuality is lack of sexual attraction. It's in the definition. Right there. Do you see it? The same exact words. Sexual identity is the concept of yourself. Your explanation makes no sense based off of what the different terms of sexual identity and sexual orientation are. Also, asexual is an orientation, once again. See above. 9. I addressed the mixing of terms above, so I won't go in to this again. Wanna know who I'm sexually attracted to? NO ONE. That is why my sexual orientation is asexual. I have zero sexual attraction to any single person I've ever met or seen. Just as you, a bisexual, has sexual attraction to your own gender as well as at least one other gender, I have sexual attraction to no genders. Asexuality is a sexual orientation. Now don't talk over asexual activists again. It's people like you who misinform those not in the community, and end up making it look like we are not a valid orientation, because you don't understand asexuality. Next time, let asexuals speak on the subject. I am so angry at this man right now, especially for talking over, and deleting comments of those asexual activists that have been speaking up on his video to try to right his wrongs. STOP INVALIDATING US! That is all. https://youtu.be/qcvxxa1k7I4

I want to make something clear about “before” and “now” right off the bat. These two things are very different issues. One is about oppression, the other is about an election loss. What happened “before” (which is referencing all the BLM and social justice/police brutality marching that has been happening around the country continuously since George Floyd was murdered) is a direct result of the straw that broke the camel’s back in an oppression of a people. When you are so angry because you’re seeing your friends and family get murdered by people who are supposed to be upholding the law (part of which is fair trial, btw), it is to be expected. What happened this past summer was also not surprising. It just so happened to be the tipping point with that subject. That is a stark contrast of what is happening right now. The people who were causing terror at the Capitol building were doing so because they don’t like the outcome of an election. You can try to tell me it was false, and all these votes were false and blah blah blah, but when judges that Trump himself appointed to the bench are throwing out cases because there are no grounds for them, that should be your first sign that you’re throwing a tantrum because your side didn’t win, period. I also want to address the police response to both of these situations. I have seen people say “you didn’t want them around before, but now you think they aren’t doing enough? That’s hypocritical.” No, it isn’t, and here’s why. Most of the protesting going on this past summer about social justice/police brutality was just that, protesting. I have seen countless videos (and I even have some of them posted on my twitter) of police STARTING the violence with the social justice/police brutality protesters. I have seen specific tactics they have used to trap and arrest protesters on false charges. And now, I see them being so lax with their response today to people STORMING the Capitol building, it’s almost like they were allowing it to happen. And I wouldn’t be surprised, especially as police take pictures with these traitors INSIDE the building they just barged into (yes, this did happen). I wish I could say this wasn’t my country, but it is. The bigotry and thus the right-wing extremism that runs deep in this country, and is now threatening our democracy, is staggering. It has been gearing up to rear its ugly head. It was woken up and emboldened by a president that takes pleasure in inciting its violence. How disgusting. This bigotry has been the lifeblood of this country for too long. We were built on oppression, and we continue it to this day. We pretend to be accepting of diversity, but so many people in this country actually hate people who aren’t like them and now they aren’t afraid to shout that hate from the rooftops. They don’t want to have to go back in to hiding. This is the last ditch effort to keep from having to take their bigotry back to the closet or under white hoods.  Seriously though, you’re not patriots. You’re now terrorists. I know there was more I wanted to say, but it has slipped my mind for now. Maybe I’ll come back and write more on this topic, I’m not sure. But for now, that is all I have to say.

🖤🤍💜