winterfire

The last 40 minutes I was lying on the bed and imagined that everything happened a little differently.

No problems in the Uchiha clan, Itachi was a best jonin and they met on a mission with Kisame, who also did not become a persecuted killer.

And they just meet sometimes in a particular village, share experiences, discuss philosophical things. Kisame buys dango for Itachi, and Itachi tells him about swords (in library him already thinly hinted, that soon the entire information will end) and fish (they never discussed it, but Itachi knows that deep down Kisame has a weakness for tropical fish). Kisame tries to pretend that he doesn’t care, but actually carefully listens to everything Itachi says, he is interested, and Itachi is not worried, because he knows that Kisame is always unconsciously snaps sharp teeth when he’s deep in thought.

So they walk in their free time. Only heard the calm voice of Itachi, the sound of footsteps and quiet “clack-clack”.

nobody: absolutely fucking no one: no one living soul in the kitchen:

me: Silas…my boy…my poor boy…he didn’t deserve it, he just got lost, you know, he was so alone, he was in so much pain…my broken snow-white baby, just look at him *the sound of suppressed tears*

I can’t live in peace when I think about Hoshigaki Kisame because I HURT SO MUCH FOR HIM. He didn’t live long, but WHAT a life it was.

I’m not talking about the fact that he is an excellent ninja with a stunning set of techniques. It’s about feelings. That he was ALWAYS alone, before he met Itachi, who from the first phrase literally saw right through Kisame and told him that he was lost in the fog. Literally in a bloody fog. “You’re just a criminal who doesn’t know where to go.” and OF COURSE it hurt Kisame AGAIN. 

He talks about fratricide, but before he lost his comrades in the same way and was forced to do terrible things that somehow left their mark. How can there be a happy person who simply has NOT been TAUGHT to LOVE? How could he know what it was when there was no one around to show it to him?

I want to believe that Itachi finally showed him at least the charm of Friendship, because even before his death, Kisame remembers his words exactly. Not something from his painful distant past. The words of the person with whom they spent 8 years side-by-side. Ultimately, he was so strong, that died, as a real shinobi and everyone recognized it.

“Your true nature will only manifest itself at the moment of death”. And at the time of death Kisame grant himself forgiveness. At the moment when sharks literally devour him alive, he remembers such important words of his only friend and finds the strength to forgive himself.

“Itachi-San…I guess I wasn’t such a terrible person after all.”