still together, still going strong (despite the closet)
βΌοΈ this is just my opinion; everyone interprets music however they want. you donβt have to agree
today i reblogged a post about the waiting game being about being in the closet and i wanna talk more about it!
im not trying to affirm this, but for a while now, specifically since the walls-fine line era, i think harry wants to come out of the closet, but louis doesnβt (technically, i think he has much more mixed feelings about it than harry). that doesnβt mean at all that louis isnβt proud (he is, in fact, he shows it all the time) or that he doesnβt want us to know theyβre still together (he shows that all the time too lol), but i think he βdoesnβtβ want to publicly come out and harry does.
thereβs absolutely nothing wrong with either stance, i think both are totally understandable and none of us can say for sure what we would do or how we would feel in that situation. i think louis has more than valid reasons for believing itβs a bad idea, and his situation is more complex than harryβs. letβs be honest, he has a babygate, a history of long-term βgirlfriendsβ and not just pure stunts and the general public isnβt as convinced that he's LGBTQ as they are with harry (yes, itβs true that there are a lot of people in denial about harry ik, but come on, we all know a lot of them believe heβs at least bi).
it began with the contrast between golden and lights up with walls and defenceless for me (i think those four songs are about themselves, their fame and their relationship).
βheβs goldenβ βim hoping someday im open. i know that youβre scared because im still hopingβ βi know youβre scared because im so openβ βim hoping someday youβll openβ and everything lights up (and the context in which it was released) it really contrasts with:
βand im too tired to be tough, just wanna be loved by youβ i donβt care about being open with everyone anymore, i donβt want to be strong and put up with what that involves, i just want to love you and be loved by you. nothing else.
time passes, and we get to the harryβs house-fitf era. we met keep driving, satellite, face the music and ooms. (this is when i think louis starts to have more mixed feelings, when he really starts to wonder βwhat if..β)
βwe share the last line then we drink the wall till you wanna talkβ βspinning out waiting for ya to pull me inβ
βa small concern with how the engine soundsβ βi would ask, should we just keep driving?β weβre moving forward, yes, but im concerned about how weβre going. i hear the problem. should we just keep going as if nothing is wrong, or do we stop and look at the problem? how long are we going to pretend we donβt hear it?
then, on the one hand, we have face the music, which, like defenceless, emphasises βi want to be with you, but i donβt want to face this situationβ.
parallels between golden and face the music
but out of my system, aliveβs older sister, recognises that weight in him. i decide not to do anything, but it weighs on me. i know i have to resolve it one way or another. the situation is complex. i donβt want to do anything, i donβt even want to think about it. but im not blind, i see it affects me and my relationship.
we continue moving forward in time and arrive at hdigh-kissco era.
we are now at a point where louis recognises that the situation is more about him feigning insanity than the problem itself. itβs something inside his mind, fear, uncertainty. iβs not a question of βhow do i face it?β, but rather βdo i really want to face it?β that is why i think itβs a mixed feeling: at times i would like to, should i? if i donβt want to face it, why go through it? and i really think thatβs totally valid.
i donβt want to hear anyone say that itβs wrong for louis not to want to come out or that heβs βbad for not making that effort for harryβ.
no LGBTQ person should have to come out to anyone, and itβs a reality that consumes a lot of you, brings a lot of changes. and changes require time and energy (*cough habit cough*). sometimes youβre so tired of everything thatβs happening to you (im speaking for myself here) that you say, βdo i have to go through this right now? i know itβs a problem, but canβt it wait?β fighting it is exhausting.
harry insists, let the light in. lights up. itβs better to find out if itβs going to be as bad as you think. itβs uncertain, but weβll be able to see the positive side. we like to dance, donβt we? letβs dance like itβs a dance floor even if everything goes wrong.
(and donβt get me started on face the music vs dance no more).
this seems like a quote. its something louis says in his songs. harry always continues with βwe belong togetherβ after this. can we say that heβs quoting him?
all those things you said to me when you had βlost your tasteβ and now you apologise. you played tough (βlonely in parisβ = separated from love) but you need love. my love. you know you call me βbabyβ and I already tell you i forgive you, but... this didnβt happen before, we used to fight more. youβre settling down, handling it more.
and while weβre at it, i think that the βphoneβ in both of their discographies is the allegory they use to refer to arguments about issues that make them feel distant (thatβs why the telephone, because itβs talking from a distance, not that they are literally separated and calling each other).
like this. morning calls = morning fights (i ainβt even woken up yet not nearly verticalπΆ)
now, finally, back to the waiting game.
i think heβs talking about closeting. over the last few years, harry has been doing stunts that are too obvious, he doesnβt mention them or interact with them like he did when he was in 1D (theyβre literally more pap walks than anything else, he hardly even mentions them in interviews). and itβs always during the periods when he writes albums and releases them. and although holivia was a shit show etc etc we canβt deny that if youβre not actively in the fandom, the stunts donβt really have much impact other than in promotion and narrative for the general public. i think harry does it because heβs tired of it, heβs tired of being the βladiesβ manβ and he has every right to be exhausted (american girls? hellooooo)
louis is in a different situation. he does stunts for promotional purposes, yes, but his stunts are still much more of a beards than harryβs ever were. he always had beards until he broke up with eleanor for the second time. thatβs when his *proper* stunts began (yeah the party boy era, yeah, but if you ask me, that era and the babygate worked more as a beard than as a stunt if we look at it from a distance). basically, he puts more effort into pretending to be heterosexual, at least more than harry. and again, this is not about βwho is right or wrongβ, itβs an observation.
in this βmeanwhileβ, in this seemingly endless wait, you play the βwaiting gameβ. you keep pretending, you keep doing everything we do to wait. but it all adds up to nothing. emotionally dry years go by. you try to redo your βdesignβ but it all adds up to nothing.
we move forward in the album and we come across her, yes, coming up roses πΉβ¨
harry recognizes that he is putting pressure on something that he knows doesnβt need it. i was judging the whole journey, im sorry. i love you, i donβt need you to do this for me. you donβt have to decide between being with me and coming out or not being with me. i donβt want to see you cry about it anymore.
i always say they arenβt in a queer relationship like we would be/are, they are in a queer relationship in the public eye, under scrutiny. and i honestly believe that many people donβt give fame the weight it has in their songs. in a context where they are not A+ celebrities, we could perhaps interpret this as them having a thousand relationship problems and coming and going all the time. but knowing it? i think itβs clear that theyβre still together and always have been. every album since midnight memories has songs about being in a long-term relationship. βone proper relationshipβ
fame brings a thousand things that none of us will ever be able to fully understand. i donβt believe that all the supposedly acclaimed βbreak-up songsβ are about break-ups.
βsomebodyβs got your trainers on the ones that you wore when you walked out the doorβ i have your fucking trainers. i wear your clothes all the time. βyou walked out the doorβ you disconnected from the situation, you ignore me, βyouβre giving me the silent treatment, donβt know what it's achievingβ, but at the end of the day, i put myself in your shoes because we share them weβre both in the same boat.
βi saw your friend that you know from work he said you feel just fine i see you gave him my old t-shirt more of what was once mine i see itβs written, itβs all over his faceβ its me speaking in the third person about myself because i make a distinction between myself and the voices in my mind. βoh can you hear the voice? the one inside your headβ im that friend you met at work. you gave me back my t-shirt, which reminds me of what we used to share: first album post-1D, the βwe have learn how to go though this publicly separatedβ time. (space to clarify that i think they use clothes as a material symbol representing shared history and the passage of time). i know you can tell what im thinking even though im giving you the silent treatment because i feel like i donβt recognise you lately. i wake up and see your face and youβre becoming a stranger. βmy phone misses your calls btwβ at least fight with me so we can talk. we canβt keep ignoring the problem. comfortable silence is so overrated. eventually, we have to discuss this.
itβs a circle, or at least thatβs how it seems for now. at Manchester ONO, harry played ftdt, which is the beginning of how they ended up on coming up roses, the only song with harry being the only writer in his entire discography.
anywayyy they never broke up <3














