this is gonna ruin the tour

Network Effect, Martha Wells

Murderbot chronically finding new scientists/travellers to claim as “clients” (whether paid or not) like one of those sheepless herding dogs that goes around finding sheep (or anything else they can herd like a flock of sheep). Like it clearly has a protect humans instinct and a desperate need for enrichment.

murderbot in its head: i am a cold, heartless security unit. i literally do not care about these fragile, stupid humans. i wish they would stop talking to me. i just want to sit in my cubicle, ignore my duties, and watch my space soap operas in absolute silence. humans are messy and annoying.

murderbot in reality: [immediately throws its heavy armored metallic body in front of a deadly plasma blast, gets its limbs blown off, hacks three enemy gunships simultaneously, and bleeds corporate artificial fluids just to make sure its human clients don’t get a single scratch]

the humans afterward: "oh my god, thank you so much, you saved our lives, we care about you—"

murderbot: [internally screaming in absolute horror because someone is trying to make emotional eye contact and have a heartfelt conversation] "please stop looking at me, i am going to pretend my system is shutting down now."