alpineglow

“So what’s your plan?”

Thell watched the Mandalorian move across the room, the spacious circular house the villagers had been kind enough to lend to them. It was higher up then the others, offering a view of the setting sun over the sea of trees on a small back porch.

It was mostly devoid of furniture, but the ones that did inhabit it surprised Thell by their quality. A single, crooked table that Din had laid their belongings and medical equipment out on, and a single large bed with stitched blankets. They were colorful, like the other ones, scratchy on her skin but warm enough during the night.

It had been the first thing she had seen when they had walked in; she just wondered what Din’s reaction was under that helmet. They were staying overnight, she knew that, but it’s not like they had ever shared the same bed before. It seemed large enough so that there was space between them, but Thell tried not to worry. She had fallen asleep beside him before, against his shoulder in the firelight on Naboo.

This was just different. With pillows and scratchy blankets and just the two of them.

It was oddly quiet without the kid, and Din had barely mentioned him as soon as they started moving their stuff into the house. She knew he was distraught, she could feel it in the way he had hugged her when they reunited and the silence that followed after every conversation.

Seeing him again was strange, like it had been years. He still looked exactly as she remembered, all muscle and height and intimidating power. She knew the man underneath, yes, the one that was inexplicably kind and soft spoken. But he had yet to mention the words she had spoken to him right before she had run off with Grogu, and it haunted her.

She still hadn’t told him the details of everything that had happened to her and Grogu in the base, but she planned to. She needed to. The ghosts of the stormtroopers and the admiral were haunting her around every corner, and her wounds stung with every breath and step she took forward.

However, he had treated her wounds as best as he could with the supplies from the Razor Crest. It wasn’t perfect, and she knew she had a long road to go, but in some ways, the memories of her experience hurt more than her physical reminders. The electrocution on her thigh still bothered her when she stood, her entire body was sore. Din had had to help her into the room, leaving periodically to get their things from the Razor Crest.

She hadn’t seen herself in weeks, and wandered into the fresher to see if there was a mirror. She dreaded it when she did end up finding one, only to stumble back in shock when she actually looked at herself.

Her copper hair had grown out, just fraying a bit below her collarbones. Her hair was matted in several different places and sticking up in a funny way. Her brown, bloodshot eyes were surrounded by dark circles, making her look much older than she actually was. And her skin was paler than ever, bruised in several places along her face and neck, and even more across her arms. Her cheeks were even slightly sunken in, and she could still see how she had suffered from the dehydration and abuse.

She didn’t want to cry; she had never taken too much pride in her appearance. But something about seeing herself in this state, half dead nearly a week ago, recovering from a series of tortures, made her look like she was barely hanging on.

Did Din care? He never made many comments about her physical appearance, but she wondered if he was put off by her now. Over the past months, she would catch him glancing at her when he thought she wouldn’t notice, or his gaze would linger when she walked in. Either way, she wondered if he actually cared. She showered anyway, feeling refreshed but still haunted by the girl that stared back at her in the mirror.

“Tomorrow morning. I’ll stay the night and dress your wounds again before I leave. Leave early in the morning and scope out the land. I’ll try to find where you were kept and infiltrate it to find the kid...,” he spoke, as his gaze faltered to fall out the window, towards the glows of the setting sun. “This place is good. Safe. They’ll take care of you.”

Thell nodded, slumping against the bed. “I know... I, um, I just want you to be careful. There were a lot of troopers in that base, Din.”

He didn’t turn in her direction. “I can handle it. I’ve done this before.”

She knew he had, but it still worried her... going into that base where she had been tortured, where Grogu was hiding out or being kept.

“Why aren’t you leaving now?” Thell asked, even though she didn’t want him too. “If you have all your equipment, why don’t you just find him now?”

Din paused. “... I was looking for you guys for two weeks, Thell. I... I need to be here.”

Thell’s heart melted. “Okay.”

“These people... I’m glad they were here to get you.”

Thell’s eyes fluttered. “Me too... They saved my life.”

“The woman from earlier told me about you.”

Thell sat back, sinking against the pillows. “... What did she say?”

Din drew away from the window, removing his jetpack and setting it aside as he hovered beside the bed. His gaze wasn’t on her, but trailing along the blankets, like he was studying them.

“She said you cried in your sleep every night, that you weren’t stable or fully awake until today. You were mostly slipping in and out of consciousness... you yelled a lot. She said that you almost died once they brought you back to the village, but you kept fighting. Fighting for days, Thell. Almost a week.”

He turned suddenly, coming around the other side of the bed where she sat and kneeling down, hand gripping her’s.

“You talked in your sleep, but they couldn’t understand you. But she told me you kept repeating Grogu’s name.... And mine.”

He sounded breathless towards the end, and Thell ducked her head, feeling embarrassed and not knowing why. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, not meeting his stare. “I know you said you wanted your name kept between just us.”

“I don’t care,” he said suddenly, surprising her. Din sounded so sure of himself, like he always did. She fluttered her gaze back over to him, tears threatening to spill. After being worried and in pain for so long, it felt unfair to have such a great sense of security and peace when Grogu was still lost. She bit her lip to keep a sob down, rubbing one hand over her eye.

“Kar’ta,” she heard Din say softly, edging closer to her.

“He was so scared, Din!” She yelled, sobs pouring from her throat. “He was so scared and I couldn’t do anything. All I did was lose him to those... people. And now he’s probably more scared than ever and alone and I shouldn’t be the one that’s sitting here right now! It’s unfair that we’ve been protecting him all this time, and I just made a stupid mistake and didn’t try harder for him.”

Her fist was clenched so tight in the blanket that her knuckles went sore, the anger coming off of her in waves. But Din, as thoughtful and careful as ever, turned her face back towards him. The sunset was showering glows of yellow and red on his armor, making him look angelic so close up.

“Thell, listen to me, okay?” he said quietly, his modulator crackling. “I need you to tell me what happened, as much as you can. You can’t just let it all sit inside of you and eat you away...” He paused, his grip leaving her chin and moving to her unharmed leg. “You’re different than when I left you... you’re scared. You jump at any loud sound. You’re constantly looking around like someone’s going to come after you. You’re acting like a completely different person. You look...”

Thell clenched her jaw. “Hideous, I know,” she shot back, nearing anger. “I’m covered in bruises, I hadn’t taken a shower in two weeks, and I was on the verge of death for days. I, I feel like I’m actually going crazy because I keep seeing and hearing things that aren’t actually there, and I feel like I’ve completely lost who I was before any of this happened.”

She was crying again, and the Mandalorian was staring up at her through his visor silently.

“I, I don’t know how to come out of this,” she whispered shakily. “Look at me. I don’t want anyone to look at me... I don’t even want to look at myself!”

“You think I care about that?” He sounded stern, but not angry, and it caught Thell off guard. “I just care that you’re alive. You look distressed. That’s all I was going to say... I still think you’re...” Din paused, like he was searching for the right word and feeling awkward while doing it. “You’re as radiant as the night I met you, Thell.”

Slightly embarrassed by her exclamations and his honesty, Thell shook her head, gripping his hand tight. “So much happened there. I... I feel so broken, Din.”

“Then let me help you.”

Under the canopy of night, with nothing to guide her except the familiarity of the room, she told him everything. She curled under the scratchy blankets, complaining briefly before Din nudged one from the Razor Crest into her hands. Her heart warmed at the action, even more so when Din edged closer to her, pressing his knee against her thigh as she lay sideways on the pillows. He was sitting up, as far as she could tell, and periodically, she would hear him remove a piece of the armor after he had secured the house. It would clatter to the floor softly and she would continue speaking like nothing had happened.

Her nerves was rising, as she was sure he was too. They hadn’t sat like this before, so vulnerable after everything that happened between them. And he had never removed the armor in front of her.

She told him everything, of how she had taken immense pain for the chance to stay with the kid, and how he had saved her, despite the risk of it costing both of them. Of her initial escape with Grogu and second capture. Of the possible rape she could have endured had she not been taken away, and the humiliation brought to her. Of the pain and torture she had faced and the drugs that were still effecting her system. And of being thrown out like she was nothing, left to die on the bank of a stream in the middle of nowhere and falling in and out of a frightening daze for the next several days.

He didn’t say anything for a long time, only gently squeezing her hand when she struggled to share something. He was never adamant or rude about anything, and it soothed Thell’s heart to be in his company. Even when she cried, or dug her face into the pillow to quiet her sobs, he was there, hand raised to caress through her hair.

Thell wasn’t sure exactly what he was doing, except when he finally pulled himself close to her, and she raised a hand to his shoulder, stunned as she realized he had removed the pauldron. Her breath hitched in her throat; it was hard to see in the darkness of the room. She could barely see Din, not even a silhouette. He had closed any curtains in the house, enclosing them in darkness. Beyond them, in the village, most people had gone to sleep, and all she could hear was the soft chirp of crickets in the forest nearby. For once, it actually felt like they were alone, even missing the kid.

Thell did miss him desperately, his soft coos while he fell asleep and the strange texture of his furry head. She just wished she knew if he was safe or not, if he missed them as much as they did.

Din’s hand on her face brought her back to reality, to a reality that she adored and had missed dearly. He was so close now she could feel his warm breath on her face every time he exhaled... His breath.

Thell nearly shot up, but restrained herself, instead moving her hand down to his elbow and tugging.

“Din, your helmet,” she whispered, worried for him.

His reply was soft, tender, like honey in her ears. “I know... it’s okay.”

“Are you sure...?” Thell pressed.

Her mind raced. When had he taken off his helmet? Was he still wearing the chest plates?

He answered without words, taking her free hand in his hand and guiding it upwards. Stubble from his jaw pricked her fingers, and Thell flinched, surprised by the action. But Din was as gentle as ever, taking his time and allowing her fingertips to touch his face in her own time.

The last, and first, time she had touched his face was the night they had been split up. She wasn’t as nervous now, surprised by his actions, but thankful nonetheless. Din seemed calmer too, more confident in himself, and Thell’s heart swelled with pride.

She let her other hand wander for her, feeling him shudder as her fingers glided to press against his chest. Soft material met her hand, devoid of the cold Beskar. Thell wanted to cry; he felt more human without the armor, warm to her touch. She moved her hand up his chest, marveling in the feeling of even the cloth covering his skin. It was more than what she was used to.

Din was different then when she had left him with the kid. He talked slower, more thoughtfully, but his mind always seemed far away. Thell knew it was because of Grogu, and she couldn’t imagine the ache in his soul knowing he was gone. But he was also softer, closer to her than he had ever been and becoming more open. His barriers were coming down, maybe because he was so distraught, maybe because of what she had shouted to him right before they were separated.

Whatever it was, Thell was equally grateful and nervous. She didn’t want to make him feel pressured to do anything he didn’t want to, so she tried to communicate that through touching him gently.

She let her hand glide up past his collarbone, just brushing her fingers against the skin of his neck. He exhaled shakily, head leaning to rest against her’s. She could feel the way his hair tickled the side of her face, how affectionate he became when she leaned against him in turn. Nose digging into her hair, he inhaled deeply, making Thell smile despite the tears she still held behind her eyes. She nestled her hand into his hair, relishing in the feeling of how soft it was. She had forgotten, after all the time. The last time had been weeks ago on that other planet, under the firelight when he had kissed her for the time. She still couldn’t believe it, that after five months of knowing him, of learning to accept her own feelings, she was actually getting to touch him. It felt surreal.

Thell scrunched her fingers in his hair, making him shudder when she finally rolled closer, tucking her arm around his neck to hug him. It was an awkward fit, both lying on their sides, but she needed it. She needed to feel him, hold him close enough so all she smelled and felt was Din. It chased away the nightmares that haunted her, the ones that scared her enough to never want to leave Din’s arms again. She couldn’t stop touching him, prodding her nose against his collarbone. His hands were the same, always moving, always gentle, like trying to memorize every bit of her. She sensed the same desperation from him, the need to be close to someone. Holding each other after they both believed the other was dead.

He finally returned her hug, arm sliding gently over her waist and pressing to her back to hold her as her legs fidgeted between his. She even felt him drag the blanket up, warming them against the cold and the rest of the world. He was much larger than her, shoulders enveloping her frame so he basically cradled her against him. He dug his face into her neck, his nose brushing her throat. She could feel the scratch of stubble against her skin.

They didn’t kiss, content enough to explore the other’s face with their hands, fingertips on skin in the darkness. Eventually Din spoke, his usually gravelly voice cracking in half as he breathed into her ear.

“I’m so sorry, I never wanted any of this to happen to you.”

“It’s not your fault,” she whispered back, running a hand down his jaw.

“I should have been there.” His voice was breaking quickly, making Thell hug him closer.” I could have protected you and stopped this from ever happening.”

“It’s okay,” she whispered, rubbing up and down his back. For such an intimidating man, it surprised Thell time after time when he would break like this. And this was the worst thus far.

“I thought you were both dead,” he choked out, and Thell swore she felt tears drip down her own neck. Tears that weren’t her own.

“I’m not,” Thell swore. “I’m right here... and Grogu’s okay. He’ll be okay.”

“You’re hurt, you’re so hurt,” he sobbed against her neck, and Thell broke, crying against his shirt. “I’m so sorry, kar’ta.”

Thell shook her head against him. “Don’t be. You came back for me. We found each other. Just... just let me hold you.”

She did, rubbing circles on his shoulder blade as he laid with her. It felt like hours passed, or minutes, she wasn’t sure. All she knew was that she was warm in Din’s arms, his nose brushing her forehead every few minutes when he kissed her head. She would squeeze him tighter, burying her face into his neck and whispering tender words to remind him that she was actually there. It was healing, comforting him after he had done so much for her. In a way, she wondered if he had suffered as much these past two weeks, just in a different way. She knew his heart ached for the kid; he didn’t need to voice it out loud.

“Did you mean what you said?” He asked softly, sometime in the middle of the night. “The night we got separated.”

It flashed in her mind like a burning star, shouting that she loved the Mandalorian in his language seconds before an explosion sent them apart.

She swiveled back to Din, just a few yards away.

“Din!” She called, catching his attention.

His eyeline caught her’s. “What are you still doing here? Go, Thell!”

She didn’t know why she did it. She just knew she had to, if she was never going to see him again.

“Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum!” Thell shouted, letting the smile grow on her face and the relief burst like a bubble in her chest.

She had been so confused then, scared that she would never see him again and tell him the truth. But now, after being taken by the Empire, tortured, forced to choose between her own safety and the wellbeing of Din and Grogu, she knew. She knew the moment she had heard his voice through the speaker on that droid.

“I don’t know,” she responded honestly. “I, I didn’t know then, is what I mean...”

“... Do you even know what those words mean?” Din asked. “What it constitutes?”

Thell shrugged, although he couldn’t see her. “I have a vague idea.”

“It... It means to know someone. Knowing someone, a Mandalorian, is very deep... intense. Knowing someone is more like a promise, a vow you propose to them for life.”

“So... like marriage?”

“In a way,” Din breathed. “In Mandalorian culture, it’s different. There are spouses, riduurs, but most are just meant to grow the Mandalorian population, not for true affection. Foundlings... Children. They are one the most important things to the Watch, much less so than actually having true feelings for someone.” Din paused for a long moment, his fingers skimming the top of her hand. “I’ve never liked that ideology.”

Thell swallowed. “What does it mean to you, then?”

“I don’t know...” Din paused. “I’ve never had the opportunity to think about it... what about you? What about now?”

Maybe it was because she was desperate to know if he loved her too, or maybe it was because she hadn’t seen him in two weeks, amidst the pain and torture she had endured.

This was beginning to happen a lot.

Waking up suddenly in strange places, surrounded by new things.

But for once, it was calm.

Thell looked around first without moving her head, letting her eyes scan the room. She was in some circular hut made of wooden posts and composed of straw and branches. There was a single window above her head, letting in wisps of fresh air that soothed her soul.

Her mind was still foggy, the events of the past week muddling into one. When she was barely conscious, she could see kind brown eyes hovering over her, pouring water onto her lips. Sometimes, when she could barely see in the night, she heard tromping around in the hut and heard soft talking. But it wasn't English, and Thell didn't recognize any of the words.

It felt like that lasted that way for days, falling in and out of consciousness before waking up in pain all over again. Sometimes she felt soft caresses on her head, like Din used to do, before realizing that the gnarled hands were brown and wrinkled, and the woman tending to her was the one who found her, half dead in the woods. The pain would last for hours, trickling up and down her body like a virus. When it finally did go away, she was too exhausted to do anything but pass out.

It felt like she had lived a lifetime before she could finally wake up properly, and feel able enough to sit up. Thell only hurt when she rose, her bones cracking as she pushed herself to sit up. Her body felt heavy and as if she had been sleeping for years. A course blanket covered her legs on the straw mat she had been sleeping on, and tan bandages wrapped on her upper arm where she had been shot. There was one on her wrist, too, where the drug had been injected. Where her vambrace had been-

She shot up, throwing the blanket off and stumbling off the bed, crashing to the wooden floor immediately. She grunted, hissing in pain while trying to stand up sideways.

The doorway, covered by a small blanket, waved open, and in walked a woman just a few years older than her, black hair streaming to her waist and soft brown eyes. Thell looked up at her from the floor, hair hanging in front of her eyes.

"... where am I?" Thell croaked. She flinched subconsciously as the woman neared her, and she seemed to notice immediately, drawing away and opening her hands.

"I... I'm sorry, I feel so out of sorts," Thell mumbled, pressing a hand to her head. "Everything's so muddled right now... my vambraces, where are they?"

But when she looked back at the woman, she was only staring blankly at her. Thell groaned and pointed to her arm.

"My armor. Do you know where my armor is?" She asked, patting her forearms.

The woman put a finger up, saying something softly before rushing back out of the house. Thell sighed, leaning back on her hands.

There wasn't much in the small house beside the mat she had been sleeping on, and shelves lined with other baskets and herbs. Medicinal supplies, it looked like.

From her spot on the floor, she could see her tunic and outerwear crumpled in a heap on the top shelf. Whoever had dressed her wounds had left her in her undershirt, a simple black shirt without sleeves that hung loose across her hips. Her brown pants seemed unharmed, except for the small charred spot where the electrocution rod had stung her. The memory surged through her like it was happening all over again, and Thell squeezed her eyes shut, trying to slow her breath before she freaked out again.

Turning sideways, Thell clung to the mat as she pushed herself to her feet, lazily grabbing her belongings from the shelf. She had just found her vambraces, to her greatest relief, when the curtain moved out of the corner of her vision.

Thell stumbled back, falling into a corner filled to the brim with baskets. They poked at her skin, but the fear she felt was overwhelming. It was the same woman from earlier, and the older woman who had come to her in the woods. Her breathing lessened, just slightly, before she sank against the baskets. They approached slowly, offering their hands so Thell could heave herself up.

"Thank you," she whispered, knowing they wouldn't understand anyway. She brushed off her undershirt, swallowing hard as their eyes flickered over her's. She was still shaky from the surprise intrusion, which bothered her. Had she always been like this? What had that drug done to her?

They stared back at her with wandering, curious eyes, and Thell shrank back.

"Um... does anyone here speak English?" She asked, to which they stared back at her. "English? Anyone?"

They seemed to finally understand the one word, but the looks on their faces and the shakes of their heads that they gave told Thell enough. She sighed, resting one hand against the wall as she tried to think. She needed to figure out a way to communicate with them, to see if they had a signal that could reach the Mandalorian, or anyone else she knew for that matter.

"A droid!" She exclaimed, turning back towards them. "Do you have a droid?" She mimicked droid sounds, even trying to show with her hands what she meant. The younger woman took her hand, leading her out of the hut and into the sunshine outside.

It was bright, brighter than Thell remembered, and she heard laughter. Actual laughter. It felt like years, decades since she had heard that sound from anyone. There were kids running at her feet, playing with balls or chasing each other through the village. The village itself was large, with towering houses made from wood and stone, but no electricity that Thell could see. Everywhere she passed by, people were laughing, bantering with one another or eating food.

She couldn't believe her eyes; it seemed too good to be true after all she had been through... how long had she really been there, anyway?

Thell was still limping, but the immediate pain of her injuries seemed to have subsided, and the woman led her with her arm looped in her's. She wanted to cry at the gentle touches, compared to the anger and violence she had been shown at the base. She could see bruises along her arms and ankles where she had been thrown, a testament to what she had endured. She couldn't let her gaze linger long though, because it only made her relieve those memories.

And every loud sound, every children's cry that turned out to be playful, caused her to flinch. She would shrink back against the woman holding her arm, leading her through the village. Someone walked right past her shoulder and she had to hold in a shriek. Her heart was pounding and she had no idea why.

What in Kriff is wrong with me?

But the small gang of droids that the woman led her to were her saving grace. The woman said something in that language she didn't recognize, and they all seemed to congregate around her, whirring excitedly. Thell fell softly to her knees, exhaling deeply. They all seemed to be in good working condition, despite the mud that caked their legs and the faded paint jobs.

A red R3 unit scooted up close to her, whirring a string of beeps.

"Oh, gosh," Thell breathed. "You have no idea how happy I am to see someone like you."

She raised her hand to smooth it over the metal top of the droid. She had always liked droids, having grown up with several in Darand's household. It was the only other language she was fluent in.

"Please, um... thank these people for me, and for their hospitality. They saved my life."

The R3 unit swiveled his capped head to the group of people beginning to stand around her, whistling a series of beeps. Thell felt several people's eyes on her, heard the soft murmuring of the crowd. The young woman was still beside her, and patted her gently on the shoulder.

"I... I need to find a way to reach a Mandalorian," Thell spoke to the droid. "Or, or someone. Anyone I know. Uh... can you radio in to Nevarro? Or are we too far?"

The R3 unit hummed softly, an affirmation in their language that made Thell smile, actually smile.

"Okay... uh." Thell ran a hand through her hair. "Just radio in. I don't know. The main town should do.... Kriff, I hope this works."

The R3 unit beeped excitedly, and Thell could only watch in wonder as several of the villager's children ran off and returned with a single, large antenna and attaching it to the droid's head. The orb on his head blinked red, then yellow, then a bright blue as he whirred, rocking on his little feet. Thell's heart raced, hoping desperately that somehow she could reach Cara and Karga.

There was a crackling sound that emitted from the R3 unit, one that sounded like she was beginning to reach them. She heard small sounds of wonder emanate from the people, who had moved back a few feet to give her space.

Thell raised her hand to the droid, right over where the speaker sat.

"Please, please work," she begged under her breath.

A long silence ensued, and Thell had nearly given up until she heard a familiar female voice.

"Hello? Who is this?"

Thell pushed her hand against the droid, tears building in her eyes at the sound of her friend's voice. "Cara! Cara, it's me! It's Thell!"

"Thell?" Cara answered, her voice crackling and distant through the speaker. "What are you doing? How'd you call in?"

Thell exhaled, slumping forward. "It's a long story, Cara, but I need your help. I was with Mando," she explained, catching herself before she spoke Din's actual name. "And we got separated. I got sent to this Empire base with Grogu but we got split up... I need your help, please!"

"Kriff, slow down, kid, slow down. Are you alright?"

Thell paused, wondering that herself. "I... I'm okay. I'm safe right now. But I don't know where I am. I woke up by a river, and these people took me in and cared for me... But the kid's gone. I don't know where he is."

Cara was silent on the other end for a long time before she spoke again. "What's your plan?"

"I... I don't know how to contact Din, and I thought..." her voice broke. "I thought that if I called you it might work, and thank Kriff it did... I need you to reach him for me."

"I'll do you one better."

Thell blinked. "What? What do you mean?"

"I'll patch him through. Hold on just a sec, kid."

Thell's heart pumped, and she could feel her arms trembling against the droid. All had but gone silent around her, the easy song of birds the only thing that filled her ears.

That was until the static changed to a higher pitch, and then went flat. On the other end, through endless amounts of static, she could hear him.

"Thell?"

Hearing his voice sounded like home, and Thell swore that if she didn't truly love him before, she did now.

"Din?!" She nearly shouted into the speaker.

He sounded breathless."Kriff, it's good to hear your voice. I've been looking for you for two weeks," she heard him say on the other end. "Are you okay? Are you safe?"

"Yeah, I'm okay," she lied. If she was honest with herself, she wasn't okay. In actuality, she wondered if she was worse off then she thought.

And two weeks? She knew it had been long... but not that long. How long had she been in the Empire base, or even the village for that matter? How long since she had last seen Grogu?

"Where are you?" He asked.

"I, I don't know, some forest planet in a village," Thell stuttered. "No one speaks English here, I don't know the name. Theres droids here but I don't think the planet has a name."

"What do the people look like? Are there any significant landmarks around you?"

Thell's eyes darted around the landscape, to the people hovering around her.

"Uh.... nothing really, some ruins, mostly just forests and a river. They have dark skin, and purple tattoos on their faces. Kind of rural but their village is advanced."

"... I know where you are. I'm coming now. Is the kid okay?"

Thell's heart stopped, and she paused, bracing her hand against the droid as she sobbed. Several of the people around her made worried noises.

"Thell, what's wrong?" He sounded desperate. "Answer me."

"He... He's gone," she cried, digging her forehead into her hand. "I think he's still alive but we got separated. I tried, I tried so hard, Din."

He was silent for so long she thought they had lost the connection, but on the other end she heard labored breathing.

"Din?" She asked quietly.

"I'll be there in a few hours," he said, and the line went silent. The R3 unit whirred softly as Thell slumped, digging her face into her hands and sobbing. She felt the few people crowd around her, touching her shoulders gently before helping her back to her feet. The older woman from before had her arm looped around her's, patting gently and smiling with such great warmth towards her.

She sat with the woman, relaxing in the warm sunlight, not talking but getting to know her just the same. Thell let the sun warm her back, soothing her injuries for the time being. There was only so much the healer of the village could do while she waited. She waited and watched the children in the village and ate strange colored broth that made her sick to her stomach.

She only heard the familiar whirr of the Razor Crest entering the atmosphere as the sun was setting. The golden sun cast rays of pink and orange, reflecting off the metal of the ship. It circled in on the village, descending just beyond the treeline.

Legs trembling, Thell rose to her feet, hand braced against the old women's arm. She felt her tug on her, just softly to get her attention. Thell looked back at her, at the deep amber eyes that told so much. She raised a hand, pressing a finger to her lips and then onto Thell's forehead. She blinked, wanting to understand the gesture but knowing she couldn't ask even if she tried. Instead, she dipped her head, offering the woman a kind smile and squeezing her hand.

She led Thell out into the wide crowd of people whose direction was locked where the Razor Crest had landed. The old woman guided her through the throng, the villagers separating and looking at her in wonder while she limped closer. The woman brought her to an open spot in the crowd, where she could look out beyond the lines of houses and barriers of trees.

As soon as she saw him, even the small glint of Beskar in the forest, Thell dashed towards him with one last glance at the woman who had taken care of her. One hand clutching the bruise on her side, she stumbled past the villagers, gently pushing them out of the way.

"Kriff... Mando!" Thell called, remembering to use his fake name.

She shoved past the few remaining stragglers, pain screaming at her from her wounds and bruises, her eyes blurring. She ran harder, breath coming in painful pants as she limped to her Mandalorian. She had just come out into the clearing where she could see him clearly, sprinting towards her. Pain shot up her leg, and she tripped, hands smacking against dirt. Wincing, she heaved herself up, just as Din came running towards her.

The pressure of the Beskar hitting her own chest would leave a bruise, she was sure of it, but it didn't compare to the joy and safety she felt being reunited with him. Upon impact, he nearly threw her sideways, colliding with her so hard she had to dig her heels into the ground. Thell collapsed against him, her arms trembling from the effort it took to keep herself wrapped against him. Sobbing, she clawed at his shoulders, fingers squeezing his tunic as they both dropped to their knees. For moments, her shaking arms threatened to let go, but the hold around her back was secure, and he tugged her closer across his knees. He was even stronger than she remembered, cradling her head with one arm while the other hung across her back. She could feel the lip of his helmet dig into her hairline as she pushed her face into the tunic on his collarbone.

"I, I was so scared, Din-"

He sounded like he had been to hell and back. "It's okay."

She shook against him, feeling him squeeze her tighter. "I-I thought you had been killed, I thought something had gone wrong."

"Thell," Din said softly beside her. "It's okay. I have you."

She suddenly leaned back, letting her hands rest against the Beskar steel of his helmet. She had never wished so badly to see his face, to run her hands over his soft cheeks and see those eyes she had been dreaming of for months. She wanted to kiss him again, despite the guilt she felt for telling him she loved him.

He didn't deserve it, not at that point. She should have waited for the perfect moment, and it gnawed at her soul.

And the tears ran fast.

"I had the kid," Thell sobbed. "We were together in this place and we almost got out but I lost him. I went back to l-look for him and they grabbed me out of nowhere." She hung her head, letting her scalp rest against the Beskar chest plates.

"I didn't even get to say goodbye. I-I'm so sorry, Din. I-"

"Hold on, tell me on the ship."

He wasted no time in scooping her into his arms, holding her tight with one arm slung under her back. Even seeing the ship again calmed her soul, even though she knew Grogu wouldn't be on it. She would be looking for him everywhere on the ship: his seat, his own bed, the bundle of her blankets that lay on the floor. Her heart ached with sorrow as soon as she thought about him.

Her hand was clutching tight to Din's arm, so hard she thought she might break it. But he walked with her steadily, up the ramp and helping her into the sleeping pod.

"I'll be right back," he said before disappearing up into the cockpit.

Thell nestled her nose against the blankets in Din's bed, the ones that were thrown around haphazardly. How was Din, really? Had he fought sleep every night because he knew they weren't there with him? The thoughts wracked her brain, and she sobbed in agony against the blankets.

Din was by her side in moments, hoisting himself up into the bed beside her and gathering her in his arms. As soon as she felt him, Thell flinched, actually remembering that he was truly there and she wasn't just imagining it.

"Thell, stop," Din said softly.

She hadn't realized why he had said it until she raised her head, and realized she had been pushing him away from her, with more force than she had meant.

"I..." Thell started, shaking her head. "I'm sorry..."

She was still clutching his arm tight and suddenly released, causing him to look down at her.

"What happened to you? You're shaking like crazy... and Dank Farrik, you look as pale as a ghost, Thell."

Thell trembled, turning her face away. "I was s-so scared, Din."

"You're safe," he replied, holding her head. "I won't hurt you."

Thell's lip trembled. "But... they did! They did hurt me!"

Even in her state, she noticed the way he went rigid. He was staring down at her through the visor, one hand supporting her neck.

"Where?" He asked, but it didn't sound like the Din she knew. He sounded angry, even with just one word.

Thell inhaled shakily, swallowing as she peeled back the blanket.

"Here," she said softly, pointing to the injuries on her arms. She showed him the dried blood on her scalp where she had been knocked out by the butt of a blaster, and told him of the marks and remnants of the electrocution rod on her thigh. Along with that were a mixture of yellowed bruises along her arms and legs.

He seemed to space out, staying silent for a long time after she told him.

"I..." she started, gripping his hand. "I was trying to protect Grogu." She sobbed again, eyes squeezing shut and digging her forehead into his knee. "I-I tried to get to him, I did," she sobbed. "I couldn't-"

"Thell," Din said, somewhat sternly to make her look at him. "It's okay."

Her lip trembled. "B-but... Grogu. I-I turned around and he was gone... I left him there, all by himself."

"We'll get him back."

"How?"

Din paused. "... I'll figure something out."

Thell shook, shaking her head, until she felt Din's hand reach out to her face.

"Let me help you, kar'ta."

It warmed her immensely to hear the nickname, the one still unknown to her. So Thell obliged, sitting up in the cot while Din gathered the precise medical supplies. He sat down in front of her hanging legs, just even with her sternum so he could look up at her.

"M-my leg," Thell said softly, touching the fabric across her thigh. She had always been modest, never showing too much of her skin unless she needed to. And in the case of Din, and only ever having seen his hands, she felt nervous. But like he always did, he seemed to sense her anxiety, moving to squeeze her knee gently.

"This isn't anything it doesn't need to be," he said. Thell blinked back at him, mulling over his words and the gentle grip on her knee.

"O-okay," she breathed.

He had just raised his fingers above her leg when Thell flinched, catching movement from the corner of her eye. Din sensed it too, shooting to his feet with his hand resting on his blaster.

It was the young woman who Thell had been with earlier, standing at the curved opening of the cargo hold. Her eyes skimmed back and forth between them, trying to send an unknown message.

Thell put her hand on Din's arm. "It's okay. She's the one who's been taking care of me."

"What does she want?"

"... I don't know."

The woman stepped closer so she could start speaking to them, and Din was watching her carefully, back held straight.

"She says we can stay in the houses for as long as we need, while you recover."

Thell's brow twiched. "How do you know that?"

"The helmet, it... It translated it for me." He turned back to her. "I need to see if I can find where you were kept. This would give me a chance to... if we stayed."

Thell blinked, amazed by his courage. She could never imagine going back in a place like that.

"Yeah... okay." When Din turned around to speak to the woman, Thell gripped his arm.

"I... I want to stay with you. In the same house, I..." Thell shuddered, pushing her hair behind her ear. "I need to be close to you."

Din turned to face her fully, clad in the armor she had missed so much, not missing the gentle way he leaned down, cupping her face between his gloved hands.

Your phone buzzed in your pocket, sending you jolting forward. The waiter who had just brought your coffee blinked at you warmly before you shot him a small shrug.

“Sorry,” you murmured as you fished your phone from your pocket. “Just a phone call.”

You said a small thank you for the drink before quickly making your way back to your car, just as your eyes came in sight of who was calling.

“Mi amor” read the name in large white text, accompanied by a goofy picture of your boyfriend, his glasses twisted on his nose as you kissed his cheek. The picture had been taken months earlier, before quarantine had even begun and split you two apart. Life had been normal, practically perfect before... Now you were just trying to pick up the pieces.

You hesitated with your finger hovering over the phone before you finally answered, plopping down in the driver's seat of your car. It was quiet on the other end, but you couldn’t force yourself to speak first, not with the way your lip was trembling.

Pedro finally spoke. “Babe?”

Tears burst in your eyes, warmth growing in your face as you dug your fingers into your shirt sleeve.

“Hi,” you croaked, running a hand through your hair. When had you last spoken, a day, a week? You couldn’t remember exactly. The time spent apart had been long, that, you were sure of.

You had been apart when quarantine was first implemented, states away while Pedro had been filming for The Mandalorian. The strict rules had made it virtually impossible to see each other, the ones in your state and his. Hours were spent talking, sharing meals, and falling asleep together over the phone and FaceTime. It wasn’t the same, and it didn’t help ease the pain you felt when you were still so far away.

It had been three months since you had last seen him in person. Three months since you smelled him and felt his secure arms as he gave you the best hugs, three months without kissing him or holding him or just being with him. You had wanted to make it work, you made that clear to him. And he had wanted it to, to your greatest relief.

But it was difficult regardless.

“You doing alright?” He asked, his voice soft.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” you managed. “Everything going okay over there?”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s alright,” Pedro said. “I was able to see my dad last night. He was able to come over and we got dinner.”

You beamed; you just wished he could see. “Oh, honey, that’s great. I’m really happy for you. How did it go? You guys make anything?”

“Ah, you know, the typical stuff. It was good though... I needed it.”

“I know,” you said, sitting back against the headrest. “... Pedro?”

“Yes, mi amor?”

Your lip trembled again just as tears fell down your cheeks, and you inhaled heavily. “I just miss you so much.”

“I... I actually wanted to talk to you about that.”

Your heart suddenly thundered in your chest. “Um, okay... I didn’t do anything, did I? You’re not breaking up with me?”

Pedro laughed on the other end, lifting your spirits. “Are you kidding me? No! Honestly, you’ve been so great. More than great, like... Gosh, you know what I mean.”

“Damn, Pedro, you’re making me blush,” you giggled, wiping tears away. “What did you want to talk about?”

“I’m coming home.”

You shot up in your seat, clutching the armrest. “What? Are-are you actually serious?”

“Yeah, I am.”

“Pedro, if you’re just joking with me, I swear-“

“I’m not, I’m not!” Pedro exclaimed, and he sounded genuine. “Really, love, I’m coming back. I’m coming to see you.”

Hand over your beating heart, you pressed your back into the seat. “When?”

“I’m just getting to the airport. I should see you in what, six, seven hours? Don’t come though... just wait at your place.”

“Okay,” you say, blushing and twisting your feet together in pure excitement. “I’ll see you soon, I guess.”

“Sooner that than, mi amor.”

. . . .

Hours ticked by, slower and slower until the clock finally struck 8, the time Pedro was supposed to show up. You had bit your nails raw, the ends of your hair still drying from your shower as you paced the foyer. He would be here any minute, with his sweet brown eyes and flirty grin and goofy disposition.

And suddenly...

The doorbell.

You raced forward, swinging it open so hard you could almost hear the crack of the wood breaking.

Pedro stood there, in his classic Fraggle Rock hoodie and jeans, his hair looking a little mussed, his brown eyes tired. But beautiful, he looked as beautiful as the first day you had met.

You couldn’t even move, couldn’t find the strength to form any words before he was suddenly sweeping towards you, his bags dropping and his arms coming to wrap around you. Breathless, you sank into him with a heavy sob, returning the hug as he moved to cup your head with one hand. You latched your arms around his neck as he released a sob of his own, his knees knocking into your legs as he tried to balance properly. You didn’t care if you fell, not even if it hurt. All you cared about was that Pedro was back in your arms after three long months. You could feel the way he was breathing heavily into your hair, setting your skin on fire.

“Is this real?” He breathed, a hand running up and down your spine.

“Gosh, I hope so,” you whispered before leaning back, taking his face in both of your hands to tug him down for a fierce kiss. He reciprocated immediately, fingers digging into your waist before sliding up to hug you around your neck. You could feel his mustache, the slight stubble on his chin even, rubbing on your own skin. You half-moaned, half-sobbed on his lips, too overcome with everything happening at once. He pulled away just to nuzzle into your neck, kicking the door closed behind him.

“Pedro, your bags,” you laughed, wiping at tears with your free hand.

“Oh!” Pedro exclaimed, quickly breaking away to retrieve his things from the porch. You laughed, hand on your chin as you watched him struggle before taking one of his bags in your hand, lugging it into the foyer. After he had set them down, he stood straight up again, dusting his hands on his jeans. His eyes flickered to yours hesitantly, as if he were shy. You cocked a brow, half-smiling at his strange expression.

“What?” You questioned.

His gaze traveled down to your neck and back up again. “It’s been a long time... I don’t really know what to say.”

You exhaled heavily. “Me either... How are you? How was the flight?”

He shrugged lightly. “The usual. A bit exhausting,” he said with a small eye roll, and his thumb rubbed your cheek. “But I’m better now.”

You blushed, brushing your knuckles against his hand. “Do you- do you want something to drink? Coffee, water?”

A slow smile grew on Pedro’s face, and he leaned forward, taking your hand. “Sure.”

Hand warm in his, you dragged him to the kitchen, letting him free as you dug through your cabinet, fishing out a glass. You had just turned around, nearly bumping into his chest and dropping the glass before his hand wrapped securely around the cup. He smiled widely, brown eyes warm.

“I got it, babe,” he said, taking the glass from your shaking hands and placing it on the counter behind him. His eyes glowed with something curious, something sneaky.

“What are you up to?” You asked, cocking a brow. You hadn’t seen him in three months; you wouldn’t be surprised if he kept you at an arm’s reach for the rest of the day, mouth on yours and hands tangled in your hair.

He stepped forward, making you back up until your lower back brushed the tip of the counter behind you. His hand found the lip of the granite, just resting beside your hips as he moved closer, a smirk on his lips. It had been three months of missing him, of having him this close, and it was sending fireworks up your veins.

“Pedro?” You giggled, drawing your fingers up his forearms. Goosebumps grew under your palms, raising them to grip his triceps. He felt stronger, more muscular than when he had left.

“Hm,” you mumbled. “They’re really putting you to work on that set, aren’t they?”

Something dark flashed in his eyes, and he bent forward, nose brushing against your chin as he nibbled at your skin, making you blush. He seemed hesitant, still shy, as his eyes flickered back to yours as if silently asking permission. Having him so close, his eyes inches from yours, his sweet face and even sweeter soul just within reach, made sudden tears spring to your eyes. He noticed immediately, his brows creasing as he pulled away, letting you free from his embrace against the counter.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Pedro asked, worry laced in his tone. “Are you alright?” His hand came up to your face, gently pushing your hair back behind your ear.

You swallowed hard, moving so you could touch his face, marveling at how he looked at you in pure awe.

“I just... I missed you so much,” you admitted through tears. “And I can’t believe you’re actually here, after all the craziness that’s been going on... This world is so crazy right now, love. I was so worried about not seeing you again and just imagining the rest of the year without you-“

You started to run over your words, shaky hands combing through your hair just before you noticed Pedro going to grab you wrists.

“Hey, hey, calm down, mi amor,” he said softly, turning your face to his. “I’m here, okay?”

“Everything’s so different now,” you sniffled.

“What? This-this isn’t different. We still have each other. I still care about you. I still want to be with you, babe.”

You heart soared. “I love you so much.”

His eyes practically sparkled. “I love you, too.”

Grinning softly, you leaned forward, pulling his face to yours so you could press your lips to his. You felt his shoulders sag, how he practically melted into you, letting out a pleased sigh as you kissed him. Only two seconds later his hands found your back, gently wrapping around your waist until pulling you flush to his chest. His facial hair, slightly ragged from not shaving from a few days, scratched against your chin as he tilted his head, kissing you deeper. When he pulled away, his eyes were soft, his skin flushed a light pink. You smiled widely, running your thumbs over his cheekbones, perfectly happy.

“How long are you here for?” You asked.

A soft kiss on your nose. “As long as you need me.”

Your brows creased. “What? What about shooting?”

“Finished up last week, they won’t need me back for a couple of months... I was actually wondering if...”

“... Yes?”

His fingers gently trailed down to your wrist, thumb spinning in small circles. “If I could crash here for a while? If-if you’ll have me, that is. I don’t want to intrude or anything-”

You answered him by pulling gently on the strings of his hoodie, tugging him forward for a slow, passionate kiss, one that left your legs trembling when he reciprocated.

“So... Is that a yes?” He whispered against your mouth, nipping teasingly at your lower lip.

You winked slyly. “Sure... Why not. I’ve missed you anyway. I guess I can put up with you for a while.”

He rolled his eyes and sighed heavily, drawing away from you. “Come on, let’s go sit down. I want to hear about your day.”

Everytime he had said those words to you in the past three months had been over the phone. So you gladly let him pull you into the living room, plopping down on the couch beside him. You swung you legs over his, shoulder pressing into the back of the couch as you held his hand in yours.

You talked for hours, catching up and sharing the small moments of the day. Pedro was just as sweet, as flirty and kind as he always had been, asking you about your favorite shows and new daily routine and your favorite memories as a kid. At some point, sleep had tugged at the both of you, but the last thing you remembered was a blanket being drawn over your shoulder.

When you came to, and the house was quiet and the world dark and silent outside, you pushed your head up from the pillow. You were back in your bedroom, draped under your comforter and surrounded by pillows. A single lamp was on on the opposite side of the bed, but when you pushed yourself up, Pedro was nowhere to be found.

Panic pricked at your heart, and you shoved the blankets off your legs, making your way down the hall into the kitchen.

“Pedro?” You called softly, peeking around the corner to the living room.

Pedro was stretched out on the couch, tangled under a blanket and lying on his stomach. He was obviously asleep, eyelashes kissing his cheeks as he breathed softly. Seeing him like this, asleep, was one of your favorite things. He was calm, and gentle, not worrying about the events of the day or of the problems affecting his family or you. For mere moments, he was perfectly at peace. And your heart swelled to know he hadn’t left.

Moving slowly, you padded into the living room, coming to kneel beside him on the floor. In the dim light, you pulled back the blanket on Pedro’s face just as he stirred, blinking up at you groggily.

“Hi,” you whispered, unable to keep the smile off your face.

He blinked a few times before realizing it was you, and his pupils dilated even more in the dim light. “Hey, you okay?”

“I’m fine,” you said. “I... I thought you had left.”

His eyebrows creased slightly. “Why would you think that?”

“You weren’t in the bedroom.”

He swallowed hard. “I-I was just... Keeping our boundaries, I guess.”

You leaned back, sudden thankfulness washing over you. “Can I... Can I sleep here, too?” You asked, a shy tone creeping into your voice. “If that’s okay?”

His eyes flickered across your face for mere moments before he nodded, pulling the blanket open. You kissed his temple gently as you curled in beside him, curling your hands into his chest, making sure you were both covered by the blanket.

“Thank you,” you whispered, and felt his cheeks lift in a smile. Head tucked under his chin, one arm over your side, you closed your eyes again. Pedro breathed quietly above you, his heart beat soft against your ear. His hand moved gently up and down your back, fingers pressing into your spine.

“Love?” He said softly.

“Yes?”

“Kid!” Thell shouted again, tears starting to burn behind her eyes.

She scrambled backwards out of the air duct best she could with her restrained hands, landing back against the crates in the hallway. It was still empty, to her greatest relief, so she rolled onto her back, heaving herself up so she could peer through the boxes.

“Kid!” She called again, softer this time, terror rising in every vein of her body. Maybe he was hiding, or had wandered further down the hallway.

“Hey!” A loud voice boomed down the corridor.

At first glance, her head spinning, she thought it was Din, gleaming armor in the bright hallway lights and a domineering figure.

“Mando?” She whispered under her breath, her head lolling with exhaustion. Her throat felt oddly dry, like she hadn’t drank in days, and it was hitting her like a blaster shot.

Something singed along her arm, burning like fire. Breaking into a yelp, Thell stumbled, gripping her arm as she careened against the crates. Something whirred behind her and she heard an explosion at the other end of the hallway.

Kriff.

Two stormtroopers were firing at her, causing her to dash down the other end of the hallway. Pain shot up her leg from where she had been electrocuted, and she stumbled, gripping the wall to help herself around the corner. Her foot slipped on the smooth flooring, sending her flying forward as her knees collided with the ground. There were only a few spare moments that she could recover, heaving in a gulping breath before someone snagged the hood of her cloak, shoving her back to her feet. Over the blood pounding in her own ears, she could hear laughter and a hand prying at her cloak as she stumbled.

Thell clawed at the hand, wriggling in the grip. “Don’t touch me! Let go of me!”

The intruder flipped her around, having her come face to face with the gleaming white helmet of a large stormtrooper. His hand fastened around the collar of her cloak, tugging her close until she had to stand on her tiptoes, and she could feel the cold brush of metal against her legs.

“Maybe I should just keep you to myself, huh?” he sneered, and Thell swore she could hear a smirk in his voice. “You’re not too shabby for a lowly girl.”

Thell bared her teeth, fighting through the fear that was trying to paralyze her. Her leg stung from the fall and her headache from earlier was returning, threatening to make her pass out.

Instead, to keep herself awake, she dug her fingernails into the material covering his elbow, digging as hard as she could. He flinched, groaning at her and smacking her hand away. His free hand gripped her hair, tugging her skull back and sending pain racing up her scalp. Thell whined, squeezing her eyes shut.

“Feisty, too, huh?” The stormtrooper chuckled darkly. “I think I’ll hold onto you. No one would want you anyway.”

The comment stung deep, and the Mandalorian’s helmet flashed in her mind. She wanted to cry, to hide away like she was used to. That would be the easy route, to give up when she had no way of escaping. But it seemed it wasn’t her choice to make.

“Trooper,” came a low voice behind them. The hold on her collar loosened just slightly, and Thell jerked away, falling onto her backside on the smooth flooring. Her head was pounding, and she pushed her hands against her eyes even as she heard more footsteps approach them.

“What did the Commander want us to do with her?” She heard one of them say. “The kid isn’t here.”

Thell wanted to let out a sigh of relief. They hadn’t found Grogu, so it seemed he was still safe for the time being.

“Not sure... Give me a second.”

She cast a wary glance in their direction, making eye contact with the trooper that had grabbed her. The other one had his back turned to her and was murmuring into a comlink on his wrist.

“He says to put her in a cell.”

The large stormtrooper bore down with a dark gaze in her direction, causing Thell to shudder.

“With pleasure.”

They hoisted her to her feet, shoving her forward to walk at their arm’s length. Thell hissed, limping with the pain laced up her thigh. She knew she couldn’t beat them, not in her state. But she could fight back, show them she wasn’t giving up while knowing that Grogu was still out there. Probably scared, alone. And Din. She couldn’t imagine how he was feeling right now.

So as soon as they made their way to another holding cell, she threw her shoulder against the trooper, stomping down as hard as she could with her good leg in between his shin and foot. He groaned, shouting a string of curses and shoving her against the wall. Her chin caught steel and blood exploded under her tongue, making her whimper.

“Insolent girl,” he growled behind her, grabbing her by her shackles and shoving her into the room. It looked like her old holding cell, except their was a stormtrooper in black armor on the other side of the room, surrounded by a wall of various objects. Thell could barely get a good glimpse before she was shoved sideways, face to face with another man in grey. He was older than the last man she had seen, smoothed back white hair and dark glasses resting on his nose.

“Name?” He asked slowly, peering at her with narrowed eyes.

Thell stared back, surprised by the sudden pleasantries. “Thell.”

“Miss Thell, you are aware that you have been harboring a wanted persons with your colleague, the Mandalorian.”

Hearing his title on his lips made her squirm with anger. “He’s just a child.”

The man stepped closer, long grey suit dragging behind him. “A very powerful child, but I assume you already know that. He tends to only display his abilities in front of those he feels safe around... Do you know of his whereabouts since your escape?”

Thell blinked, wondering what she would say. She could lie, say that he had escaped before her, but she truly didn’t know where he was.

“No,” she bit back.

“Hm,” the man grumbled, his shoulders rising with a heavy breath. He paced the room, running gloved fingers over the weapons and tools surrounding the black stormtrooper.

“What do you suggest, admiral?” The trooper holding her back asked.

The man held up a single knife, twirling it between her fingers and causing it to gleam in the white lights.

“Make her scream. The child cares about her. Maybe the kid will come running along to save her like last time, and save us all the trouble of running around.”

Thell’s entire body went rigid, and she felt the way her blood chilled to ice. She stumbled across the smooth flooring and the tense grip of the trooper behind her.

“W-Wait, please!” Thell begged. “I-I can do something else. I’ll give you everything... my vambraces, their made from Beskar, they’re worth a lot of credits. Please!”

The admiral scoffed. “You think I care about something as measly as Beskar? Moff Gideon has been searching for that child for a long time. You’re quite a foolish girl. I’m surprised you lasted this long with the Mandalorian. I was led to believe that he didn’t care about anyone but himself.”

Thell’s lip twisted. She wanted to tell him off, scream at him or something, because he had no idea who Din Djarin was, and what he meant to Thell Sai’Lya.

“You’re wrong,” Thell snarled, curling her lip.

He bent forward, towering over her and raising her chin with a single finger. “For your sake, I wish I was.”

They left her alone with the single stormtrooper, and Thell pushed herself against the far wall, not being able to stop the tears that came fast. She watched with shaky hands as he rifled through the tools, wiping towels along a few and discarding others.

She closed her eyes and thought of the metal walls of the Razor Crest, how it whirred under her feet and sent them off to faraway places. She thought of the places they had been, Trask and Coruscant and Naboo. Wild green grass and friendly townspeople and Din’s hand warm in her own, constantly searching for her even when they slept by the firelight. She thought of Grogu’s large eyes, gleaming back at her through everything they had faced together, and of his grabby little hands that played with her hair and held her thumb with all of his small strength.

And she thought of Din, of meeting him on Bespin and almost leaving him on Coruscant. Of everything they had been through since then, finding her father’s armor, learning her own family’s story, all the while growing closer to the faceless man she had come to adore so greatly. The one with hidden brown eyes and an even deeper hidden heart.

All that time, and she had taken everything for granted.

She didn’t want to be afraid when the stormtrooper finally turned around, a long vial with clear liquid gripped in his left hand. But she was, and the tears didn’t stop as he approached her.

He didn’t speak as he flipped her arm over, shoving her sleeve upward and finding a vein in her arm. The helmet raised, looking at her through that dark visor, and Thell set her jaw, staring back defiantly.

“Do your worst,” she said, as calmly as she could between tears. “He won’t come.”

And she closed her eyes again, hoping and praying with all her heart that he wouldn’t.

. . . .

Grogu never came.

At least she thought he didn’t.

Ever since the needle had sunk into her arm, she had been seeing visions, memories replayed directly in front of her. They had been scattered, ranging in different colors and sizes. Faces were blurred, and voices sounded higher than usual.

Sometimes she saw Grogu, and would cry out, heaving herself up and crawling towards him. But her hands would collide with air, and she could hear laughter beyond the room. Sometimes she even saw Din, but he didn’t look like she remembered him, all twisted and pale colored.

She had tried to shake herself out of it, knowing it was a drug they had put into her system. But she was weak as it was, with the concussion from when she had passed out and the wounds she had sustained.

So she gave in, curled in a heap on the coldness of the steel floor. She knew she had been crying; her cheeks were sticky every time she touched her face. She must have been yelling at some point too, because her throat was raw with every breath she took.

The minutes felt like hours, and the hours felt like minutes. Time mingled with itself, and she was choking in its hold.

The only thing that comforted her, one that brought her peace despite the hallucinations and exhaustion that tugged at her body, was the memory of the constellations. She could see them beyond her closed eyes, clear in her blurry mind, planets and stars sticking out like bright lights. She could imagine sitting with her mother on the roof of Darand’s mansion, caressing her hair like she always did, her voice soft.

And Din Djarin mingled into her memories, overtaking the one’s of her youth. She found herself sitting in the cockpit with him the first month they had been traveling together, too scared by her nightmares to sleep. She had wandered into the cockpit night after night, first to watch the constellations to calm herself, and eventually to talk to Din. She remembered watching the constellations with Grogu sleeping on her chest and Din laying beside her, talking about anything and everything. In the midst of the danger they faced, the constellations, those chilly nights under the stars where they snuggled close together... That was their safe haven.

It was Thell’s, after all.

If Grogu made it out safe, if Din was safe and they were reunited, it would be worth all the pain. She would take everything for them if it meant they were okay. Even if she never found out.

The first time she could hear and see clearly again, there were others in the room. But their conversation was scattered, and Thell groaned against the floor, trying to force herself to feel better. Her body felt like deadweight, only having enough strength to tilt her head up.

“-Keeps yelling out for someone called Din-"

“Hasn't stopped crying-"

“It’s been days at this point, I don’t think she could take much more-”

Even in her state, Thell could make out the familiar shape of the admiral from earlier, the one that made her blood curdle.

He leaned over her, bent on one knee beside her curled body.

“You’ve caused us a lot of trouble, girl,” he sneered. “You should be glad we didn’t put a blaster to your head the moment you got here.”

Thell felt herself smiling, a weird laugh rising in her throat. She felt out of sorts, her body running low and her brain fuzzy as she tried to make sense of her surroundings.

“What now, admiral?” She heard someone say, but they sounded miles away.

He looked over her once before standing and pacing to the door, running a hand along the steel.

“The kid has yet to show up, and he may have gotten out already. She’s useless to us now.”

“What do you want us to do with her... Admiral?”

“She’s already feeling the effects of the dehydration. “A cruel, twisted smirk grew over his glossy features. “Toss her. Let her suffer.”

Thell blinked up at him just as her body went limp and her vision started to blur, turning black around the edges.

“She won’t last a day in the forest.”

. . . .

The first thing that made sense in Thell’s scattered mind was the taste of salt in her mouth. She blinked groggily, harsh yellow light capturing her vision immediately. Soft dirt ground up underneath her hands as she pushed herself off her stomach, rolling onto her back instead. Something churned inside her stomach and she flipped again, hurling into the dirt beside her head.

Thell choked, coughing up water until she could breathe again, and pushing herself back. Her body was sore, and soaking wet, her tunic sticking like glue to her skin. She could still feel her vambraces sewn into her shirt, pressing to her arms. Light flared beyond her eyes, and she finally opened them.

Sunlight was pouring down on her, basking her body in a relieving warmth. As her vision cleared, she could make out the green leaves of swaying branches above her head, whirling in a soft wind. It whistled just beyond her ears, churning the leaves that lay on the ground beside her.

Bracing herself with her good arm, Thell pushed herself to a sitting position, taking in the area around her. She was on the bank of a river, surrounded by sand and leaves. Her boots were caked with wet sand, half submerged in the water. It was flowing fast, moving and twisting through the forest beyond her vision.

She wondered briefly if it was still an aftereffect of the drug, one that was just making her see what she wanted to see. Where had she been before? Where had they thrown her?

But the sun felt too real, the crisp beads of sand between her hands and underneath her fingernails. The pain, too real, as she pushed herself closer to the water, sitting waist deep in the coolness of the liquid. It took away some of the momentary pain, and quenched the thirst that ached in her throat. She cupped her hands, taking mouthful after mouthful until she felt too sick to try again. She poured it over her face, shutting her eyes and letting the water do its magic, relaxing against her skin. It rained down over her hair, fingers scrunching to try and get rid of the dried blood on her scalp.

She still had her eyes closed when she heard voices approaching, and twisted, pushing herself to stand as fast as she could. Her heart was pounding, entire body on flight mode as she swiveled, trying to find the voices.

She spotted colorful shapes moving in the trees, shorter figures tromping ahead of others with large baskets on their heads. Thell blinked, hands trembling with anxiety as they finally neared and caught her line of vision.

They were humans, like here, but with darker skin and purple tattoos across their faces. They looked like rural villagers, dressed in simple, colorful clothing and holding baskets weaved from tree limbs.

Thell put her hands out defensively, shaking her head, feeling the fear overwhelm her. It wasn’t until she had seen them that it hit her: Grogu was gone.

“I...” she struggled to say, feeling the aching in her throat. “Where is he?”

The people took a step back, the children looking at their parents and running back under their arms. Thell’s brows creased. Who were they? Why were they here?

“Where is he?” she repeated, angrier this time. “Where’s the kid?”

They murmured amongst themselves in a language Thell didn’t know, and she crumpled to her knees. Hands tugging at her hair, Thell sobbed, her mind confused and her heart even more so. She could sense the people approaching her, but still maintained their distance. It was only when she finally lowered her hands, chest heaving with aching breaths, that she felt someone approach.

It was an older woman, with kind amber eyes that looked down at her. Her face was weary with lines of age, but there was something about her that reminded Thell of Seba, her own mother. A wrinkled hand reached towards her, cupping the back of her head. She was saying something, her cracked lips trying to communicate to Thell.

“I... I don’t understand,” she sobbed. “I don’t understand, I’m sorry.”

She shook again, and the hand moved to her shoulder as the woman bent down in front of her, laying her basket at Thell’s feet. It was filled to the brim with colorful fruits, ones that Thell would have admired had she not been withdrawing from the drugs.

She could only tug on the woman’s arm with weak hands, tears pouring down her face.

Thell could spot three of them just beyond the border of the trees.

Gleaming, white armor stuck out like moonlight in the blaring lights of the starship overhead, the heavy firearms draped in their arms as they patrolled the Razor Crest. No points of safe entry, no weak points from where she could see. They were looking for her, or the child, or Din, and she knew it.

Thell had never seen stormtroopers in person, but she knew what they looked like. However, they were much more frightening up close.

Grogu whined against her cloak, and Thell’s heart raced at the reminder of the treasure that she was escaping with. Din had entrusted his safety wholly to her, his own son. The one that he loved with all his heart but never admitted to. Thell would die if it meant getting Grogu somewhere safe.

“Shh,” she whispered, sinking to her knees behind the ferns and placing him on the ground. Big dark eyes stared back at her in the dark. The only light was from the moon and the fading lights of the starship hovering over them. In the safety of the woods, the canopy of trees provided a barrier against the light, trapping them in an almost peaceful darkness.

She rubbed his head with one shaking hand. “It’s okay, bud. I’m going to get you out of here.”

She heard the way he whined, how his eyes traveled to the far end of the woods where Thell had sprinted from. She was sweating now, her legs trembling after running as fast as she could to the ship. That was until she found three stormtroopers circling it.

She had thought about Din while running, thinking how stupid she had been for telling him that she loved him in the midst of a wild panic. She didn’t regret it, but she wished she had said it at a different time, not after their first kiss and yet another near-death experience. He didn’t love her, he couldn’t. They were just completing a mission together. After this was all over, it would be different.

She just wished she knew where he was now, if he was safe, or even alive in the first place.

But she had shoved the terror deep down and focused every intent back on the kid. He was her first priority, he had been since the beginning, and she had to get him off this planet.

Thell peeked over the ferns again, fingers resting against the blaster on her hip. She knew how to shoot; she knew she was a better shot than most. Maybe because of her father, maybe because of Din.

If anything, it meant she had a chance.

Swiveling back to Grogu, Thell picked him up and set him just a few paces from her.

“You stay right here,” she whispered sternly, pointing a finger at him. “Don’t move. Okay?”

But Thell could only smack her forehead when he looked at her with wide eyes and tilted his head, like he had heard nothing she said.

“Fine.” Thell rolled her eyes, scooping him back up so he could sit in the hood of her cloak. She felt him cling to the bottom of her hair, fidgeting in the hood as she shuffled back towards the trees.

Thell let her eyes travel over the soldiers, knowing if she hit them directly, she would have enough time to move if she needed to and not get cornered.

“Stay down, okay?” Thell whispered to Grogu. “We’re gonna get out of here... with your dad.”

That part was still in the works, but she knew she could get to him somehow. She had to.

The blaster trembled in her hands as she raised it to the first trooper, about a hundred feet from where she stood, looking in the opposite direction. She switched the safety off, holding it with two hands to stabilize herself.

She knew what Din would say, actually do was more like it. Probably stare at her through that dark visor, clap her shoulder when she performed well.

In all of his silence, he had said so much.

Gritting her teeth, Thell focused on the single trooper and fired, hitting directly into his back. He grunted loudly and stumbled, the blaster falling from his hands as a charred circle appeared in his armor. She could hear the other two rushing forward, speaking into their comlinks.

So she twisted around the tree the opposite way, finding the next trooper and firing. She missed the first time, going right over his shoulder as he ran to his comrade. But the second shot hit home, landing directly in his sternum and sending him flying. He landed with a loud clunk against the wall of the Razor Crest just as Thell spotted the third trooper, who stopped in his tracks.

Something about the way he stared into the woods made Thell wonder if he had seen her, and she wasn’t going to take that risk.

At his first movement, she fired, missing completely. Thell had to keep herself from screaming as she swung back around the tree, watching his own shot fire off into the woods and explode into a tree trunk. Sparks littered the ground and smoke filled her nose as she swung her arm back around, firing twice.

She saw him stumble; she must have hit his leg. So Thell took the open shot and fired for a last time, shooting straight through his helmet. He stumbled for a moment, before completely going limp and collapsing against the ground.

After a long moment of her eyes being locked on the bodies, Thell’s mind came back to her when Grogu tugged on her hair. She panted, wiping sweat from her forehead and tucking her blaster away before she shoved herself away from the tree.

Legs shaking with every step, she walked past the bodies, not even sparing a second glance at them as she knew it would only make her feel worse. Nausea was already rising in her throat, and she had nearly collapsed when her feet finally hit the side ramp.

Grogu murmured, and Thell pushed her hand against her leg, bracing herself as she climbed up the ramp and into the cargo hold. She couldn’t let herself linger; for one second she caught sight of Din’s bed, of the blankets half made and thrown aside when they had all woken that morning. It had been peaceful then, just the three of them.

Forcing a sob down, Thell climbed the ladder step by step into the cockpit, just making it past the sliding doors when she felt her blood turn to ice.

A trooper sat in Din’s seat, whirling halfway as the doors closed behind her. For mere moments, Thell could only stare back at him, her fingers hovering over her blaster before she snatched it upright.

“Get out,” she snarled, pointing it directly at his head. He hadn’t moved, hadn’t said a word since she had arrived. Grogu whined in her cloak, and she felt him huddle deeper in her hood.

“I said,” Thell repeated, gritting her teeth. “Get out.”

It only hit her when the doors opened up behind her; he had been stalling long enough for another to come up behind her. There was a small crack and pressure against the back of her head, cold metal colliding with her skull so forcefully it crushed her to the floor.

. . . .

Din was laughing, laughing like she had only ever heard him do several times. His hand was in her’s like it always was, warm and solid amidst everything that had happened to them. Thell could press her forehead to his, feel his nose brush gently against her’s, making her giggle. Grogu was there too, held tight between them.

It was everything she had ever wanted.

And then it was gone, and the only thing Thell felt was the bite of steel against her back and wrists.

She woke up with a start, jolting upright until realizing she was on her side. Her head was pounding and something warm had pooled at the base of her neck. She went to move her hands, but found them constrained together. Thell panicked, throwing herself on her stomach so she could force herself to her knees. When she did, she heard a soft whine behind her.

“Grogu!” She sobbed, scrambling towards him. He had some sort of restraints on his wrists as well, ones that glowed blue.

He was laying on his side at the corner of the room, a small, bare room with dark matte walls and a single bright light hovering above them. The air was frigid and it nipped at Thell’s skin as she pushed herself on her knees, arms reaching out to tuck the kid close to her. He was crying softly, eyes creased as she ran her fingers over his head.

Anger and fear was pouring out of her like she had never felt at the sight of him. He was terrified, weak, and she had never wanted Din back so much.

“You okay?” She said, leaning close and cradling him as best as she could while digging herself into the corner. Even with her shackled hands, she drew him close to her face, pressing her cheek to his head as tears poured.

“We’ll be okay,” she whispered, only for him to hear. “I’ll protect you. We’ll be fine.”

She just wished she believed those words herself.

Her blaster was gone, and something about the pain on her head told her it wasn’t just a bruise.

It felt like hours, huddled against the cold wall with dried tears sticking on her face, until someone arrived. Thell’s head shot up, and she could feel Grogu’s ears twitch against her neck as she spotted the doors sliding open.

It was a single trooper, accompanied by an older man dressed entirely in gleaming black clothing. He walked with his hands behind his back and stood with his chin tilted, allowing Thell a grotesque look at the pale skin of his face under the bright light.

She drew tighter to the wall as they approached in silence, shakily standing to her feet and keeping her arms protectively around the kid.

“Where am I?” Thell demanded, air catching in her throat.

“You are in the Empire’s custody, under the command of Moff Gideon,” the older man said without moving nearly a muscle on his face.

Thell shuddered, holding Grogu tighter. “Why?”

“Because of him,” he said, nodding to the kid. “He’s a very important asset to Gideon. We’ve been tracking him for months, the blaster creature.”

Thell’s brows quivered. “... why do you need him? He’s just a kid.”

She saw the slightest twitch of the officer’s lip. “You might see a child, my dear, but in the eyes of the Empire, he’s the most wanted being in the galaxy.”

Grogu cried, muffled by her cloak. Thell turned sideways, shielding him from their view.

“Why are you here?” Thell asked, trying to get as much information as she could. If she escaped, it might be useful to Din. “Is Moff Gideon here?”

“No,” the officer replied coldly. “We’re moving you.”

Thell blinked. “Moving me? Where?”

“You’re not worth anything to Gideon. Leave the kid here and come with me.”

Thell’s knees almost buckled, and she fought to keep from screaming as she shoved herself back against the wall. She wouldn’t leave him, not for anything.

“I’m staying with him,” she growled, gritting her teeth.

The officer sighed and made a single motion to the trooper, who stomped towards Thell almost immediately. Panicked, Thell reached for her blaster before realizing it had already been taken, right as the trooper’s hand gripped her arm, pulling her forward.

Grogu yelped as Thell held him with one arm, pushing against the trooper with the other, even with the restraints.

“Please!” She begged, heels skidding on the floor. “Please, let me stay with him!”

She felt pathetic, begging the Empire when she knew how much the kid meant to them.

“Please, I won’t do anything!”

The only other thing she could was fight, and after a moment of struggling, it became her only option.

Grogu slid down her leg just as she raised her other arm, locking her leg under the trooper’s to try and flip him. But he was heavier and sturdier than he looked, and her leg only stayed clamped between his. The iron grip on her arm released momentarily as something buzzed in his hand.

Thell heard the rod before she actually felt the pain, sparks and fire-hot bites shooting up her leg as the rod was shoved against her thigh. A scream erupted from her throat, cutting through the silence and causing her to draw her arms inward. Her body felt light and heavy at the same time, and she felt herself falling as the buzzing rang in her ears. The electrocution only stopped when she had collapsed against the floor, the steel bruising her shoulder and hip. She struggled to breath, drawing in ragged breaths while trying to find Grogu through her blurred vision. She had expected to hear them stumbling off, the kid’s fading cries following after them.

But the only thing she heard was a loud grunt and heavy thump as something collided with the wall behind her. Blinking heavily and with shaky arms, Thell pushed herself up, resting on her elbows as she surveyed the room.

But it was Grogu, tiny hand extended with his eyes narrowed, looking angrier than she had ever seen him. And the trooper that had electrocuted her, in a crumpled heap on the other side of the room. The wall was even dented above his head, a solid steel wall caved in at many angles.

Thell could barely breathe, even as the trooper pushed himself up and hobbled back to the front of the room to the officer. The latter looked like stone, eyes staring daggers at the both of them.

“Moff Gideon’s ship will be on the planet soon enough. He’ll deal with you then... himself.”

With a cold glare in her direction, the two excited the room, the sliding doors locking them together again. “Grogu?” She managed to choke out, crawling towards him just as he began to sway. She caught him in her arms, laying on her own stomach on the cold flooring and bringing him close to her face as she curled on her side. He looked exhausted, drained off all energy as he sagged against the collar of her tunic.

“Thank you, buddy,” she breathed, kissing his head. “You saved me.”

She would never be able to repay him, maybe with bringing him to the safe place he needed but nothing completely. He had potentially saved her life, but in the process, risked both of theirs. If they were going to die, she didn’t want him to be alone.

She just wished Din was here, swooping in with that dramatic cape flowing behind him like it always did.

But he wasn’t, and Thell felt the despair rock her. She only held Grogu close, whispering sweet things in his ears as they both drifted off, awaiting a greater fate.

She fell in and out of a restless sleep, awoken by loud noises, the cold of the room, or the enduring pain in her leg. It felt like someone was burning her thigh from the inside out, creating intricate markings. She had never felt this much pain in her life, and she tried to hide as much as it from Grogu as she could.

At one point, Grogu crawled particularly close, pawing at her face. She blinked groggily, blinded by the pain in her leg and head, but she sensed what he wanted. She hummed softly, singing him the same song she had sung just nights before, the night she had told Din she liked him.

Tears poured from her face as she replayed the memories in her head, holding onto them like they were her lifeline. Din’s bare hand on her face, his lips melding to her’s in the sweetest kiss she knew she would ever get. But those became muddled with the pain, and she drifted off again.

The only time she was fully conscious was when Grogu was poking at her face, trying to tell her something.

“What is it?” She asked groggily, bending her head up to where he was pointing.

An air duct.

Thell knew them well. She used air ducts to sneak into different parts of Darand’s house as a kid.

“Huh... Guess it comes in handy now, then.”

Even in her exhausted state and confined arms, Thell raised Grogu up on her arms so he could reach the grate. The ceiling wasn’t too high, as it slanted at different angles, so it was an easy reach for her.

“Okay, you gotta twist that little knob right there... oh. You got it,” Thell muttered. “Must be nice to have those powers.”

He had pushed away the grate inside the duct, and Thell gently lifted him inside. Her leg still burned from the rod, but Thell jumped up and heaved herself into the duct anyway, despite any cameras that may have been watching them. She knew she was risking it for the both of them, but she had to get Grogu out before Moff Gideon arrived.

She replaced the grate as soon as she climbed inside and turned back to Grogu. He was sitting down, looking exhausted but his eyes were a bit brighter.

“It’s okay. We’re gonna be alright,” Thell whispered. “Just go that way, okay? And don’t make too much noise.”

They crawled slowly through the air duct, Grogu waddling just barely ahead of her. He was slow, and she could see in the way that his ears drooped that he was exhausted. Every knee forward surged a new wave of pain through her leg, but she was determined. If they could make it out of the room with such ease, maybe they could make it out.

That was until she heard alarms blaring in the distance, just behind the air duct walls. Grogu made a small noise and cocked his head, looking back at Thell. After a moment, she shook her head and motioned him to keep moving.

They had been crawling for several minutes when Thell came upon an upright grate. She shuffled closer, Grogu close between her arms as she peeked through the slats in the grate. Just beyond, she could see a small hallway, lined with storage boxes and pipes lining the ceiling. It seemed like some sort of maintenance hallway, with no troopers or generals walking by.

“I’m gonna take a peek outside,” Thell whispered, pushing past the kid. “You stay right here. Don’t move, Grogu.”

As quietly as she could, Thell removed the grate and placed it on one of the storage boxes adjacent to the duct. She poked her head out, looking side to side before completely slipping out. The hallway was bare of any other beings, and she couldn’t even hear the alarms from this side of the building. She twisted, looking for an obvious direction. Both ends of the hallways curved opposite directions, leading into other passages.

“Okay, it looks like we’re good to go,” Thell said, turning back to the kid.

But the air duct entrance was vacant, and Grogu was gone. Heart pounding, Thell swiveled around, looking for Grogu in the boxes in the hallway or down the other corridors. She didn’t dare raise her voice to find him, in case someone was looking for them. Panicked to the core, she stumbled back to the air duct, pulling herself inside and looking down the ways they had come.

“Kid!” She called, too frantic and terror rising in her whole being to not shout .

But I promise you this

I'll always look out for you

Yeah, that's what I'll do

I say "Oh"

I say "Oh"

My heart is yours

It's you that I hold on to

Yeah, that's what I do

And I know, I was wrong

But I won't let you down

* * * *

You stood, feet clad in rain boots as thunder boomed overhead, the downpour dripping onto your rain jacket from the porch’s awning. Your eyes were locked on the door just two feet in front of you, hands dug into your pockets.

You hadn’t seen Pedro in two months; work with the Mandalorian had picked up and he was flown halfway across the country to finish filming the season. After that came the press tours, the interviews, the photoshoots. In all that time, you felt as if you had lost connection with him.

You had only been dating for a year, keeping it quiet so that it wasn’t blazing in the media headlines. So far, it seemed to have worked. You were both quiet on social media about it, and his fans didn’t seem to mind you. Some days, especially when you hadn’t spoken or heard from him in weeks, it seemed like the fans cared more about you then he did.

You had checked your phone the morning before driving over to Pedro’s, checking on the picture you had posted just a few days earlier on your Instagram. It was an older photo of you and Pedro, hugging tightly with the widest grins on both of your faces. Your caption had read: “Can’t wait to see and hug this precious man soon!”

And underneath, the comments had flooded in.

“You two are the cutest!”

“Couple goals to the max.”

“Please, please, PLEASE do a movie together or something. My heart can’t take this.”

Sure, there had been a fair share of hate or jealous comments, but your eyes were on the ones that shared so much love.

But two months felt like a lifetime.

Even so, you missed him dearly, and you desperately wanted to see him despite how you both may be feeling. The last text between you two had been him saying yes to you coming over Christmas Eve, but it hadn’t felt like anything special.

Christmas would be different this year, you knew that. You had yet to spend one with him, and all you wanted to do was cuddle under blankets, drink hot chocolate, and watch movies with him. Pedro always seemed to know the best way to comfort you, even if it meant at the price of embarrassing himself. He had always been a dork, the cutest, sweetest dork you had ever known.

So you raised your hand hesitantly to the doorbell and pushed it, hearing it ring from the inside. Despite the rain, you could hear the distant shuffling of feet and the sudden swinging of the door opening.

Pedro looked tired, an obvious droop in his eyes. You stared back at him for a long moment, unsure of what to say and do. He looked handsome, like he always did, wearing loose black pants and a red flannel. His hair looked a little wild, like he had been running his fingers through it, and he looked like he hadn’t shaved in days.

“Hi,” you finally said, your lips trembling.

He was slower, letting his eyes trace down your face. But he moved forward, motioning you inside.

“Come inside, it’s freezing out there.”

You moved inside, shedding your raincoat and leaving it on the rack beside his front door. Pedro had just closed the door, running a hand through his hair, and you could see the obvious tremble his hands.

“How are you doing?” he asked.

You shrugged. “I’m okay.”

“Did you get over here okay?” he asked. “Run into any traffic?”

He was just stalling at this point, you could tell.

“No, it was fine... How are you?” You asked, bracing one hand against the wall as you removed your shoes.

He shrugged, his gaze wavering. “Fine.”

“You don’t look fine,” you admitted, eyebrows creased with worry.

Even if part of you was angry, or frustrated with him for how he had left you for two months, you still cared about him deeply. Loved him, even if you had never admitted to it.

His lip trembled and he finally made eye contact with you, big brown eyes staring right back at you.

“I just missed you.”

He surged forward, colliding with you as his arms secured around your back. You gasped at the impact, stumbling a bit on your socks on the smooth flooring, before leaning into him and hugging him back. You let your hands tangle in his hair, tugging him closer. He still smelled the same, like cinnamon and rain and soft blankets. And he was warm and tall and secure like he had always been, gently running his hand up and down your spine. All your initial angry thoughts had vanished, because he was here, and you were home.

When he finally pulled away, which was only a few minutes later, his hands still grasped your’s, keeping you close. When you tilted your head to look up at him, there was a glitter of tears in his eyes.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, hanging his head as a sob shook him.

Sympathy surged through you, and you brought your hands to his jaw, cupping his cheeks so you could look at him again.

“Hey, hey, hey,” you murmured softly. “Talk to me.”

He inhaled deeply, trembling under your hands. “I... I should have never left. I never reached out and I just pushed you aside and I shouldn’t have. I know you wanted to talk to me, I know you did... I just felt such pain when I couldn’t be there with you, and I knew talking to you at all would just make it worse.”

He sobbed suddenly, tears streaming down his face as he leaned into your hands. “And I know I went about it the wrong way and I’m so sorry”

You were crying too, rubbing circles into his cheeks and shaking your head. “It’s okay. I was mad at you, because I felt like you didn’t care about me anymore. I expected to yell at you or something when I walked through the door, but... But I just can’t,” you sobbed. “I know you were busy, and I know how hard it is to be so far apart.”

Pedro took your hands, holding them tight to his chest. “I know, but you didn’t deserve it. You don’t deserve it. I was a horrible boyfriend to you.”

“Cariño,” you whispered, standing on your tiptoes to press your forehead to his. “It’s alright, I forgive you.”

You hugged him again, caressing his hair and murmuring sweet encouragements in his ear. He seemed to calm down after a while, believing your words. When he finally leaned back enough, he rubbed his nose against your cheek, closing his eyes as you carded a hand through the front of his hair.

“You okay?” You asked softly, rubbing your nose to his.

“Now that you’re here... come on, sweetheart.”

You had been expecting him to kiss you, but he was adamant in taking your hand and dragging you through the kitchen into the living room. His hand left yours momentarily as you took in the sights around you: an elegant christmas tree decorated to the brim, garland wrapped around the fireplace, and a fire even having been set. On the table were plates of goodies, bowls of chips, and a bottle of wine.

And even though it was dark and gloomy outside, rain pouring down into his pool on the deck, there was a certain softness and warmth to the living room. All yellow, gleaming lights and soft furniture, gentle Christmas music playing from the television.

“Pedro...” you started, looking back at him as tears welled in your eyes again.

He stepped forward shyly, hands in his pockets.

“I know you couldn’t go back home for Christmas, and I know it’s been a tough year. I’m sure I’ve added to that.” At that, you smiled at him softly, taking his hand and rubbing your fingers across his knuckles.

He inhaled deeply, surveying the living room. “So, I wanted to bring home to you. I know it’s not much, and it’ll only be the two of us, but... It’s for you. Just for you.”

You stepped forward, letting your fingers glide across the pillows and soft blankets draped over the couch. Out of the corner of your eye, you caught Pedro’s gaze, and smirked playfully.

“You’re staring,” you said.

But any trace of a smirk on his own face had vanished, and he was just smiling gently at you instead. “Can’t help it... I haven’t seen you in two months, corazón.”

He stepped forward, extending his hands so you could fall into his arms again. Pedro had always been touchy, ever since you had first met him. As friends, he was constantly draping an arm over your shoulder or punching your arm in a teasing manner, even before you two had developed feelings for the other.

As a couple, he had become even more so, and you didn’t mind one bit. He was, above anything else, a respectful, loyal best friend, and he never made you feel uncomfortable. If his hand wasn’t in yours, it was gently touching your knee, your shoulder, your back. He wasn’t afraid in public either, kissing your cheek or giving you hugs so tight you could barely breathe. It was as if to remind himself that you actually existed.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” he whispered, pressing a soft kiss to your hairline and swaying on his feet.

“Me too,” you said and he chuckled behind your ear, making you blush. “... are you trying to dance with me?”

“Maybe...”

Pulling you back, he wrapped his arms around your waist, letting you rest your hands against his chest while you swayed softly. Every now and then, his hand would raise, caressing your hair or gently pinching your cheek. You would smile, pressing your ear to his chest so you could hear his heartbeat. The emotions from earlier were still fresh, so you both took it easy, simply enjoying one another’s presence after being apart for so long.

At one point, when the fire was getting low, Pedro moved, stacking more wood in the fireplace as you plopped down on the couch. You dragged a blanket over your legs and bent forward to take a cookie as Pedro sat down next to you. He bent one arm, letting his hand rest on his chin.

You had just flickered her eyes in his direction to catch him already looking at you.

“What?” You said, unable to keep the smile from your lips.

Pedro rubbed your knee through the blanket.

“I want to make sure things are going to be okay between us... for next time.”

Your heart fluttered. “Next time?”

“Well... for whenever I have to leave again, for a premiere or shooting or whatever the case may be. I don’t want to feel the way I did these past two months.. and it would kill me if I made you feel that way again.”

You bent forward, cupping his hand in both of yours.

“I trust you, Pedro,” you said. “We can get through this together, even when it’s hard. What’s a relationship without some ups and downs sometimes?.. We can work through it. I want to... for you. For us.”

He blinked steadily, a slow smile rising on his face so he looked as mischievous as ever.

“What?” You laughed.

“When are you gonna kiss me?”

Color flared in your cheeks, and laughter rose in your throat before you bent over, rubbing your nose against Pedro’s. You could feel his hand snake around your waist, spinning circles on your back before you inched forward, pressing your lips to his. You let your hands cup his cheeks, smushing his face closer to yours while feeling his stubble tickle your fingers.

He was just like you remembered, soft and thoughtful and aware of every intention. You couldn’t help but smile against his lips, and felt him grin back against your mouth.

“What took you so long?” He whispered against your lips.

You smirked. “I guess I just enjoy teasing you.”

Another soft kiss.

“Yeah?” Pedro whispered, scooting closer to you.

“Maybe,” you breathed, kissing him again for just a mere moment.

“Well, don’t forget, sweetheart, I like to tease too,” he whispered, before suddenly grabbing you around the waist, tugging you over on your side and halfway across his lap. Your back was pressed into his legs, your head supported by the arm of the couch.

His fingers jabbed into your side, under your arms, and you shrieked, wiggling in his hold. Pedro only seemed to enjoy himself, chuckling and smiling like a kid on Christmas Day.

“P-Pedro!” You laughed, throwing your head back and pulling at his hands. “S-stop!”

But you could only laugh in pure joy as he continued to tickle you, even bending down to smother your cheeks in kisses at one point.

“Pedro!” You exclaimed, pushing your hands against his chest. “P-please!”

He finally let go, simply smiling to himself and looking down at you in pure adoration.

“Gosh... I’m so in love with you.”

You slapped a hand over your mouth; you hadn’t meant to say it, not yet. You started to shift, pushing yourself up to a sitting position so you could move yourself from Pedro’s lap.

“I-I didn’t mean to,” you stuttered, running a hand nervously through your hair. “I-I didn’t know-“

“Mi amor,” Pedro whispered, looking at you with those endearing brown eyes. “You beat me to it.”

Tears swelled in your eyes. He loved you, too. Just the same as you had been pining after him from the moment you met.

“Wait, are you serious?” You asked, breathless. Pedro, in his normal fashion, gave you a sly smile and shrugged. Without warning, you latched your arms around his back, laughing and crying all at once. You dug your face into his neck, squeezing him tighter and nearly falling off the couch in the process. You heard him chuckle, a secure hand on your back to keep you from falling over.

“You’re not just teasing me again, right?” You asked, pulling away and wiping at tears with your sleeve.

“Never.” Pedro leaned forward, kissing you lightly on the lips, the nose, before smiling and whispering,

You lay sprawled across the hotel bed, only accompanied by the whirring AC unit by the far window. The city was quiet outside; it was a few hours into the evening and the sunlight was fading over the skyline.

Pedro, your best friend of four years and counting, had left for the talk show just a few hours previous. He had invited you and Oscar to spend the weekend with him in downtown LA, as he was needed for a last minute talk show interview.

A heavy knock resounded from your door.

“Come in!”

Oscar Isaac walked in, shuffling with a small basket of food and two bottles, beer for himself and your favorite soda for you. He was wearing sweats and a plain black tee, his usual attire for tv watching. He kicked the door closed behind and padded to the front of the bed, laying out the snacks.

“Hey,” you greeted, reaching out to squeeze his arm.

“Hi, you,” he said back, smiling widely.

You had only come to know Oscar through Pedro, and you had loved him instantly. Just watching them get along as lifetime best friends was enough to make your heart flutter. Both easy-going, both humble and kind, and both incredibly skillful at making you laugh and feel equally loved.

You loved Oscar with your whole heart, but there had always been something different with Pedro. You had met at a bookstore a few years back when you worked there, and time had done it’s work. Over the years, you grew closer and closer, attending galas, parties, and other fancy events with him. Always with him, and always with Oscar.

But Pedro was different. Maybe it was because you let your gaze linger a few seconds too long when he smiled at you, or you hugged him a little tighter when he went to pull away. Whatever the case, your crush had begun months, years previous, and you were falling faster by the day. Maybe he knew... but you doubted it. Pedro was flirty by nature, and he currently had the whole world fawning over him, so you tried to suppress those feelings as best as you could.

But it didn’t help when you were so close, and your heart was soft towards him.

“You’re going to do great, you always do!” You encouraged him, leaning against the doorframe of the hotel. He had just stepped forward to enter the limo waiting for him, but there was something awry in his facial features.

“What’s up?” You prodded, brows creasing.

He was quiet, unusual for him. But he only shook his head. “Nothing... I’ll see you and Oscar after the show. Dinner at 8?”

You nodded, smiling warmly for him. You could sense something was up, but didn’t want to press him further.

“See you then.”

He had just stepped forward when you dashed forward, pulling him around and hugging him tight. You heard the small groan and laugh he let out as he wobbled unsteadily beside the car. Finally, he returned your hug, holding the back of your head like he always did.

When you pulled away, stepping back to brush off your shirt, he was already looking back at you with those doeful brown eyes.

“Just be yourself,” you encouraged. “Everyone loves you. Oscar and I will be watching the whole time, cheering you on.”

Pedro scoffed playfully, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, making fun of me is more like that. You two can never contain your laughter, or your jokes.”

You waved a hand over your face. “Ah! Maybe just a little bit... but seriously, you got this. I believe in you.”

Pedro’s eyes strayed a little longer before he finally nodded, and with a soft smile, turned and pulled himself into the limo. You waved as it pulled away from the hotel, red brake lights fading into the distance before you finally headed back inside.

“Thanks for getting the stuff.”

Oscar plopped down beside you on the bed, letting his legs dangle. “No problem... what channel?”

You scrunched your lip. “Crap. I don’t remember... maybe just skim the channels until something looks familiar?”

Oscar did as you said, meticulously scanning the channels until that familiar intro song caught your ears.

“Yes!” You cheered, tugging the blanket closer to you and digging into the snacks that Oscar had brought in.

Most of the first half hour was other celebrities or stupid competitions, so you stuck to chatting quietly with Oscar, joking about the other celebrities or talking about Pedro.

“Yeah, he looked really nervous when he left,” you said. “Like, more off than usual, you know?”

Oscar shrugged. “He’s been on Jimmy’s show before. I think he can handle it.”

You pushed yourself to sit up, holding a pillow in your lap. “Yeah... I don’t know. He just looked strange.”

Your gaze lingered on the tv for just a moment before you felt Oscar staring at you, and he was, mouth open and eyebrows creased.

You blinked. “You alright there? You look like you’re having a stroke.”

“You like him.”

Your stomach dropped, and before you could help it, you already felt the heat in your face.

“No, I don’t,” you shot back, pulling hair over your face. You heard Oscar laugh beside you, having a grand time to himself.

“You do!” He exclaimed. “I’ve known you for what, three years, and I’ve only just caught on now! Hell, kid, you really like him!”

Slightly amused, and feeling better that someone knew, you grabbed the pillow in your lap and struck Oscar across the face. He grunted and grabbed the pillow, tossing it to the other side of the room. You could only giggle and hide your face between your knees as Oscar poked at you teasingly.

“Oh gosh, you gotta give me all the details, girl.”

You rolled your eyes. “There’s not much to give.”

Oscar slapped your arm playfully. “Not much? You’ve known him for almost five years, and you’ve got nothing? I’m not buying that... how long?”

“How long since what?”

“Since you’ve liked him!”

Your heart raced, and you played with your hands nervously. “I-I don’t know... maybe since the first time he came into my bookstore? Asking me for a recommendation, and we just kind of... clicked.”

Oscar’s eyes were glued on you again, but he was smirking this time.

“What?” You exclaimed, throwing your hands up.

“Why haven’t you said anything?” Oscar asked. “Why haven’t you told him?”

You stilled, gaze going back to the tv. There was some stupid toothpaste commercial running now. Pedro’s interview would come on any minute now.

“I...” you started, trying to process your own heart. “It feels like everyone in the world is in love with him right now. And there’s plenty of other women he’s friends with, a lot prettier or more talented than I’ll ever be. So... I guess that’s why I haven’t said anything. I don’t think he looks at me in that way.”

To your greatest surprise, Oscar slung an arm around your back, patting your shoulder gently.

“I wouldn’t give up hope, kid. You know Pedro... he’s a little strange, a little goofy. But he’s a good guy. Even if he didn’t like you back, he wouldn’t leave you in the dirt. You should have heard him talking about you a couple of weeks ago... apparently he couldn’t sleep so you guys just called each other and stayed up talking all night. I think he really appreciated it.”

Your heart warmed at the memory, and that Pedro would share it with Oscar.

“Really?” You asked, stunned.

“Yeah... and just for the record, there are other women out there in the world, but they could never replace you.”

As if on cue, Jimmy was speaking to the camera, announcing Pedro’s name. Your heart leapt, and you felt Oscar’s arm tighten around you.

Pedro walked out into the set, smiling as wide as ever and waving to the crowd. He was wearing that black blazer you always thought he looked nice in.

He went to sit down on the chair next to Jimmy, and they began the interview. They started off by talking about Pedro’s newest projects, his workout routines, his life after quarantine... It was a joy getting to watch him be himself on the big screen, in front of millions of people. Your heart swelled with pride.

“And you have a romantic relationship in that movie?” Jimmy asked at one point.

Pedro nodded, giving him a smirk. “I do, yeah.”

Jimmy leaned forward. “I know you have one in the movie, but is there currently anyone running for the hand of Mrs. Pascal lately?”

Your heart beat thundered in your chest when Pedro laughed.

“I’m sure my fans are.”

“Yes, I can see a few tears in the audience right now.. but tell me, Pedro, any lucky ladies in your sights?”

Pedro paused, gaze almost flickering to the camera before saying, “Yeah, actually. There is someone.”

“Oh?” Jimmy exclaimed, almost excited. You felt Oscar tense beside you.

Pedro ran a hand through his hair, almost nervously. “Uh, yeah.”

“You wanna... tell us about this special someone?”

Pedro chuckled, and the crowd laughed behind him.

“Well... she’s gorgeous, and talented. She’s not an actress but I think she could be, with the range of facial expression she has.”

“How’d you two meet?”

“... I asked her for a book recommendation. She worked at this little bookshop in-“

His words trailed off, because you felt your entire body turn into thin air. Oscar was shaking you excitedly, but the only thing you could do was smile and try not to let the tears fall.

“And what’s so special about this young woman, Pedro? Why are you so drawn to her? I can see the blush on your face!”

When he spoke, you felt as if Pedro was speaking directly to you.

“She makes me feel normal... and she makes me laugh, a lot... but honestly, she cares about me. She checks up on me constantly and supports me in everything, and... And I can only hope I can be half the person to her as she is to me.”

The next few minutes were a blur as Pedro continued to talk about his other projects, because you were crying tears of joy, and Oscar was hugging you tight and spinning you in the air as you slipped off the bed.

“What are you gonna do when he gets back?” Oscar asked after your emotions had subsided. “He practically spilled his feelings for you to everyone on the planet.”

You shrugged, blinking away tears. “I-I don’t know. I don’t know, Oscar.”

He clapped your shoulder playfully, squeezing. “Whatever it is, you guys will figure it out. You always do... but honestly, I have an idea.”

“Oh, great. What is it this time?”

. . . .

You readjusted the hem of your dress again, smoothing it down below your knees. The balcony was tall, so tall you could see every skyscraper in downtown LA. Every light in the darkness that ran overhead in the night sky. But it was private, and Oscar had made sure it was secure enough that no one would come up unannounced.

Oscar had known just what to do: get you dressed up, leave your hair and makeup natural(like Pedro had mentioned he liked it) and have you wait on the balcony. For what, you weren’t sure.

Except when the staircase door opened a few yards away, squeaking. You whipped around, holding your arms against your chest as Pedro walked up.

His blazer was undone, and his hair was ruffled from the flights of stairs. He looked a little breathless, and he was looking around confused until he spotted you. You felt your face burn, even when he didn’t walk closer.

“Honey?” He called you that sometimes, just as a fun nickname, but after hearing him basically reveal his feelings for you over television tonight, it felt different.

“Hi,” you said, way too quickly as he took a couple of steps towards you. “You-you remember that scene, in High School Musical, uh, the third one?” You stuttered, unsure of where you were going with this but it was the only thing making sense right now.

“Uh, sure,” Pedro answered, just a yard between you now.

“When Gabriella and Troy are on the roof of East High, and she’s in a dress and he’s wearing a tux. And there’s all those pretty flowers like it’s a freaking urban garden or something.” You laughed nervously, running a hand through your hair. “And then they do that dance number with the song and it starts raining at the end? Yeah. That reminds me of this. Like almost every detail... it’s kind of weird.”

You stopped talking completely, out of breath at your rambling. Pedro was quiet, looking over with you soft, tired eyes. You shuffled your feet, putting your hands behind your back.

“I watched the interview,” you blurted out. “This was just Oscar’s idea.”

Pedro chuckled under his breath. “Yeah. I figured...”

“Was it true?” You asked. “What you said, was it true, or just for the show?”

Pedro sighed, running his fingers through his hair and averting your gaze. “It’s been true for four years, honey.... why’d you say all that stuff about the balcony?”

“Because I love you!” You shouted, hearing it echo off the building.

It was now or never.

So you took a step forward.

“I have for a long time, and I was too nervous to ever say anything because I didn’t want to ruin what we already had going. I know you have so many other girl friends who would just love to have you as there boyfriend, and I was no competition. I was just your friend. But I wanted to be more... I’ve always wanted to be more.”

Pedro smiled, and the relief burst like a bubble in your chest. “Why didn’t you lead with that?”

“I was nervous.”

“Don’t be,” Pedro said, stepping forward until only a few feet lay between you. Even in the darkness, you could see the warmth in his expression, the kindness in those brown eyes you loved so much.

His hand raised gently to your hair, tucking a stray wisp behind your ear. Pedro smiled warmly, letting his hand trail down your arm to meet yours, intertwining your fingers.

“Is this okay?” He asked, and you nodded, blinking fast. “I meant every word I said on that show... I would have never said it if it wasn’t true... I love you too, mi amor.”

Your heart warmed and you stepped closer.

“Mi amor,” you whispered back, smirking. “I like the sound of that.”

“Good,” Pedro breathed, bending forward to kiss your forehead in the most gentle of ways. “I’ve wanted to call you that for a long time.”

He suddenly swept you into his arms, gripping tight around your back and swinging you in circles. You shrieked at first, which turned into giggles as you held onto him.

Eventually, he placed you down again, hands on your waist as he breathed heavily, grinning at you.

“I, uh... I should have done this a long time ago,” he whispered, just for you to hear. “But I wanted to ask if I could kiss you.”

Your stomach did flips, and before you could come up with anything to say, you let your hands cup his cheeks, feeling the stubble prick at your fingers. You felt his dimples as he smiled, and let your hands wander to his hair. Pedro’s eyes were still the same as he leaned in, the hands on your waist traveling to your back just as your lips connected. You couldn’t help the sigh that came from your mouth as he finally kissed you, after all these years. He groaned deep in his throat as your hands tugged at his hair, pulling him down so he nearly collapsed against you. You could feel him smiling, and it made you smile and start giggling until he finally broke away. He was laughing too, his brown eyes sparkling with a pure joy you had only seen on him a handful of times.

“Sometimes I forget physical touch is your love language,” you laughed, which only made Pedro smirk.

“Yeah?” He chuckled, tugging you against his chest. “Well, now that we’re official, I hope you’re okay with it.”

“Official?”

He shrugged. “I did kind of tell the whole world I was crushing on somebody... what do you say, mi amor? You want to do this thing with me, all cheesy romantic fluff and things? Movie dates and fask masks or whatever?”

You laughed again, pressing kisses all over his face, which only made Pedro chuckle and squirm against you.

“Yes,” you whispered in between kissing him. “A hundred times yes.”

“Good... otherwise you would have had to deal with me being grumpy at you for the rest of my life.”

You pinched his cheek playfully. “No need for that... Pedro? Maybe we should tell Oscar.”

He raised an eyebrow and waved a hand over his face. “Nah, he can wait a little longer. I’ve waited five years to have this moment with you.”

You giggled and kissed him again, feeling him sigh against your mouth. He spun you, keeping you stable as you rocked on your feet, nearly falling. But Pedro was there, keeping you grounded like he always did.

When he did break away, there was starlight in his eyes and you swore he had never looked more beautiful. He was looking at you like he had never looked at someone in one of his projects, or films.

No, it was realer, truer than it had ever been.

And better.

“Hey!” You heard a voice shout from the stairwell on the roof. “You two lovebirds better hurry things up before I take the limo to dinner myself!

It was Oscar, pouting with his arms crossed over his chest. You giggled, and Pedro was laughing too, slowly slipping his arms back. His hand traveled down your arm, gently intertwining your fingers and tugging you forward. You looked at him expectantly, to which he only smiled warmly and tilted his head in Oscar’s direction.

The first time, it was barely noticeable.

Javier Pena had just slid past you at the office. You knew things were tense; the issues with Escobar were escalating every day. Everyone in the DEA seemed to be on edge each and every moment.

But Javier was different. Acting different.

You seemed to have even noticed it before Steve, who was now watching Javier with a careful eye. The man was quiet, always smoking, always working and never saying a word until he grabbed his coat, put out his smoke, and left for the day. You hadn’t been talkative with him before; in fact, he made you more nervous than anything. You knew he had a reputation of sleeping around, mainly for the intent of getting information or protecting witnesses. You just didn’t want to add onto that list, to be another nameless face in the pool of many.

You had admired Javier from the start, from his work ethic to his dedication to his team and partnership with Steve, to even the way he acted on lunch breaks or dinners with coworkers. Those times weren’t very often, but you couldn’t miss the way his lips curved into slow smiles when the table cracked a joke or made a crude remark about Escobar.

And it hadn’t stopped there.

Maybe he admired you, too, although you didn’t want to get your hopes up. But you couldn’t miss the way he would lean forward when you were debriefing, as if wanting to hear you better. Or when you were so focused on a task across from the table, tapping a pen against your head or chewing the inside of your cheek, that you caught him staring. He was never one to look away first, so eventually you challenged his eye contact, as much as it made heat rise to your face. His brown eyes were something else, deep and mysterious, unknown thoughts brewing like a fire behind them.

Those were the times you wished you could be more, that he would see you as more. And not just some one night stand.

But the first time he had come to you, seeking any ounce of comfort, was almost unnoticeable. If Steve hadn’t told you beforehand what had already gone on on the mission the day before, you would have never had any idea.

You had stayed later into the evening to work on a case, the only people in the Embassy being the janitors. It was quiet in the office, quiet except for now, as the soft sound of boots headed your direction. You looked up just as Javier approached, looking slightly frazzled as he noticed you were there, a stack of papers in his arms. You stared at him for a long moment, lips parted like you were going to say something. Since no one was in the office, you had slipped off your shoes, sitting criss-cross in the chair with your hair thrown up like a rag doll. You looked nothing how you wanted to appear in front of him, yet here he was.

“Hi,” he said, his baritone voice raspier than usually. He must have been smoking; you could smell it on his clothes.

“Hello,” you greeted, setting aside your coffee cup.

Javier watched you for a moment longer before swallowing. “Mind if I join you?”

You shook your head, standing up to clear your messy papers so they weren’t scattered for five miles across the desks.

“Sorry,” you muttered. “I didn’t realize anyone was still here.”

“I thought the same thing,” Javier grumbled as he sat down adjacent from you, laying aside his own file. “You’re still here.”

You sighed, running a hand down your neck. “I’ve been working this case for weeks and... nothing. Absolutely nothing. I think the boss just gave it to me because no one else wanted it.”

“Hm,” Javier said, leaning back in the chair to inspect his own file. You knew Javier wasn’t much of a conversationalist, but you also knew better. It was itching at the back of your throat, and you couldn’t find it.

Within only three minutes of silence, you looked back up at him.

“Javier,” you started.

“You can call me Javi, you know. We have been coworkers for six months now.”

Something pounded deep in your chest, and you wondered if there was a slight flush to your cheeks at his comment. In any case, he still hadn’t looked up, so if you were, he didn’t notice.

“Javi...” you started again, your voice low as you fiddled with the hem of your jacket. “Steve told me what happened.”

Javi didn’t look up, but you watched his eyes flutter, how they diverted from his file and gazed at a single spot in the room as his jaw flexed and unflexed. You remained still, unmoving, hoping that somehow your dreams of who he was could come true.

But your dreams of Javi being the gentle, tender lover you had dreamed of seemed to be just that. A dream.

Because he didn’t respond, instead leaning forward to light a cigarette as his eyes turned back to his file. You waited, swallowing nervously until the silence remained again.

“I’m sorry,” you said, apologizing for the incident, not your own previous comment. They were two simple words, but saying them to him, it made your chest hurt.

“It’s just the job,” he said gruffly, pulling the cigarette away to blow a puff of smoke into the air.

. . . .

It continued like that for weeks. You weren’t sure why, but Javi and you continued to stay after hours, working until the sun was completely set and sitting in complete silence. You hadn’t bothered to bring up the topic again; you knew just how quick he could shut a conversation down.

“I’m getting a drink tonight after I finish these up.”

“Alright,” came Javi’s emotionless response.

You blinked, chewing on your bottom lip. “You can always join me, if you’d like.”

“Thanks.”

But later on, when you had finally packed all your things away, Javi moved, his gaze finally landing on yours. The eye contact made your heart swell.

“I’ll take you up on your previous offer,” Javi said, clenching his jaw. “But I won’t talk about the job.”

You sat at the bar for hours, sharing nothing but small talk and the weather and the current soccer games going on in Columbia. You talked about the things you missed in America and the strange new things in this country. Mostly, it was you talking on those things; Javi seemed content to lean on one elbow, hold his glass of whiskey in the other, and listen to you talk.

You couldn’t help the feelings that had grown more and more for you. He wasn’t just... a coworker, anymore. He was becoming something more.

One particular night, you stayed late, offering to drive Javi since his car was in the shop. You noticed he seemed more tense tonight, and downed glass after glass until he swayed on his stool and his eyes became glassy. You knew it was time to leave when he shouted at the bartender, more aggressive than he had probably meant.

“Okay, let’s go,” you said, sliding off the stool and grabbing his arm. He swayed, nearly knocking you over, and when he spoke you could practically taste the whiskey on his breath.

“W-wha? W-why?” He pouted, draping his arm over your shoulders. “Damn, I have work I need to do.”

You sighed, shaking your head as you led him back outside to the car. “No, you don’t. We finished our work tonight, remember?”

Javi grumbled softly as you practically pushed him into the passenger seat, rolling your eyes as he continued to mumble, even when you finally pulled away from the bar. You drove in weird silence, sometimes interrupted by Javi’s low growls or strange strings of slurred sentences. He was speaking nonsense, babbling incoherently as he twisted in his seat, running his fingers down the glass pane of the window.

You had finally managed to find his apartment, just going to unlock your seatbelt when you felt a hand on your shoulder. You flinched, freezing upon the contact.

“Javi?” You asked softly, looking over your shoulder and freeing yourself from the belt. His eyes were glassy, half-lidded as he gazed at you longingly, his eyebrows slightly turned up. For someone that always wore a hard expression, it was strange seeing him in such a vulnerable state.

“Hey, you okay?” You asked, but squeaked in surprise as his hand went to the back of your neck, pulling you closer. He was trying to kiss you, sloppily tangling his hand in yours even when you pushed at his chest.

“Hermosa,” he murmured dreamily, and even though he was drunk, the word sent butterflies to your chest.

“Javi, you’re drunk,” you said, pushing back against his chest until he fell against the seat. He groaned, and you took your time coming around his side of the car, having him unbuckle and watching him rise from the seat. His hands were shaking as he fumbled with the keys, so you took them from him and opened the door yourself.

You had just backed away, knowing better than to follow him inside, when a hot grasp landed on your wrist.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice raspier than usual.

You blinked, turning your head to look at him. “What?”

“I... I don’t treat you - like I should.”

You cocked a brow, casting a nervous glance across the dusky street before looking back at Javier. He was leaning against the wall, his eyes half-lidded, obviously drunk and fading fast. Sympathy overwhelming you, you stepped inside, locking the door behind you.

“I’m helping you upstairs, but then I need to go, Javi,” you told him.

He hesitated after a long moment, having him brace his hand against your arm as you stumbled up the flight of stairs, reaching his apartment.

It smelled like smoke; that was the first thing you noticed. That, and the ambiance was dark, darker than your own apartment. Javi shed his leather jacket, dropping it aimlessly on the couch as he left your arm, walking in clumsy steps towards what you guessed was his bedroom. You stood at the threshold of the kitchen, watching him catch himself on the lip of the doorframe. He paused, as if listening to the honks of traffic outside or some other far off noise.

“Javi?” You questioned after he was silent for more than a minute, just standing at the corner of the doorframe.

“You...” he started, his voice unusually soft. “You shouldn’t leave...”

You blinked. “What?”

“It’s dangerous in the streets. Especially now, after everything that’s been happening. Driving alone...”

“I... I can’t stay, Javi,” you told him, rocking on one foot.

“Stay.”

His eyes were pleading, unlike anything you had ever seen from him. Even from your spot in the kitchen, you could see it.

“Alright... But I’m sleeping in here.”

Javi looked at you for a long moment before nodding, and disappearing into the bedroom.

. . . .

You woke to the smell of cigarette smoke. Blinking softly, you twisted on the couch, just realizing the blanket that had been tucked up around your shoulders. In the dim light of the living room, you could make out a form standing in the glow of the window at the far edge of the apartment. It would have scared you at first, had you not immediately been able to recognize that it was Javi, leaning against the wall and smoking.

Hearing you shift, he turned, curiously looking in your direction. You swallowed hard, embarrassed when you remembered the events of the last few hours.

“What time is it?” You asked groggily. It was a weekend; you knew that much. It’s not like you had anywhere to be.

“Five past seven,” came Javi’s hard response. He didn’t sound drunk anymore, and it scared you. “What happened?”

You blinked, pushing yourself to sit up on the couch. “What do you remember?”

Javi sighed deeply, casting his gaze out the window again. “We were at the bar... And I remember you wouldn’t come inside.”

You swallowed. “Yes... That’s about it.”

“I shouldn’t have made you stay,” Javi said. “It was unprofessional.”

You shook your head. “I knew you just... Wanted me to be safe. Honestly it was probably a wiser decision for me to just stay.”

“Hm,” Javi sighed. “I... I wanted you to stay. I... I enjoy your company.”

Your brows knitted. “You do?”

“Yes.”

“Well...” you started, feeling brave. “I enjoy your company, too. And thank you for letting me stay.”

Javi dipped his head, the growing light letting you see his features better. You waited in an awkward silence for a long moment before clearing your throat, standing to throw the blanket off your legs.

“I should probably go.”

“I’m not kicking you out.”

“I know,” you said, standing up and refolding the blanket. “I just don’t want to intrude.”

“You’re not intruding... You can stay for breakfast, if you’d like.”

You eyed him curiously, wondering if he truly felt those same pounding things for himself. The ones that cling to your heart so desperately.

“Okay.”

. . . .

“Coffee?”

“Please.”

He set the steaming mug down in front of you, and you gladly accepted it, letting the heat envelope your chilly hands. He sat down across from you at the small coffee table, coffee in his own hand and the paper in the other. You watched him, watched his big brown eyes flicker across the pages.

“So, typical Saturday morning for you?” You questioned.

“Not necessarily,” he responded, leaning back in the chair and not making eye contact. “Not many women actually spend the night.”

Your cheeks burned, and you could see the obvious smirk Javi was trying to hide on his lips.

“Javi,” you groaned.

“I’m just teasing.”

“Good.”

You finished breakfast rather quickly, feeling strange having shared so much with Javi in the last day. You had just replaced your jacket, starting to head towards the front door, when Javi approached. He was oddly quiet, eyes warmer than they had been before. Your lips parted as he approached, and you didn’t miss the way his eyes shot to your mouth, then back up to your eyes again.

“I’ll, uh, I’ll see you on Monday, I guess,” you said nervously. You wanted to kiss him, to have him wrap his arms around you and consume you. But not in the way he did with other women. You didn’t just want to be another name on his list.

Instead of letting him do anything first, you stood on your tiptoes and pressed a chaste kiss to his cheek, watching as his eyes glazed over as you pulled away. With a momentary glance you turned, descending the stairs out into the street again.

You had just placed your hand on your car door, planning to put your bag in the passenger seat, when you stopped. You had heard footsteps follow you, and turned.

“Javi-“

His hands were on your face, tilting your head upwards so he could crash into you, lips melding like honey to yours. You stiffened, drawing in a deep, shaky exhale, feeling like every bone on your body was electrified as he took two steps forward, crushing your back into the side of the car. You had just felt him part his lips, your hands still in the air and his facial hair rubbing into your skin, when he pulled away with a loud smack!

You stared back at him, your noses nearly kissing from the close proximity. You were both panting hard, and you were sure there was a deep blush spread on your cheeks. Javi’s hands were still on your face, but he made no second move, content to watch you with those big, dark eyes.

You couldn’t help but smile, letting it grow wider and wider until your cheeks hurt and confusion glazed over Javi’s eyes.

“Always in such a rush,” you whispered huskily, before sliding one arm around his neck and pulling him forward gently. You could tell he wanted to lift you up, crash into you again, but you kept one hand on his face, gently guiding him back to your mouth. It was softer this time; you could feel every crevice in his lips as he kissed you, warmly, tenderly. You melted, inhaling sharply so you didn’t have to pull away again, pulling your body against his. His hands left your face, instead moving to wrap around your waist and keep you locked against him.

When you finally did break away, your mind hazy from the soft kisses he was constantly surprising you with, you smiled again. Javi didn’t smile often, but you didn’t miss the way the corner of his lip twitched, how his pupils grew wider when you beamed up at him.

“Do you... Do you want to get coffee or something?” He asked, his voice even raspier than usual.

You still hadn’t withdrawn your arm, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. “We already had coffee, Javi.”

He blinked rapidly, looking a bit flustered. “Oh.”

You smirked. “Javi, are you nervous in front of me?”

He scoffed, pulling away so he could run the back of his neck. “Are you serious?... Well, let’s get lunch or something. If you’re free.”

You nodded. “I am... But before that... Could you kiss me again?”

Javi’s eyes flashed, and he leaned down, cupping your cheek with one hand and kissing you even more gently than before. You could feel his hand trail down your arm, pulling it upright to find your own hand and interlock your fingers.

“Hermosa,” he whispered against your mouth, kissing the corner of your lips. “I’ll kiss you anytime.”

. . . .

“Beer?”

“Nah, I’m good.”

You plopped down on the couch in Javi’s apartment, curling your knees into the pillow cocooned at your side. From your spot facing the window into the dark streets of Columbia below, you sighed, relaxing back against the couch. You could hear Javi approach, kissing the side of your head whilst offering a glass of water at your side. Smiling graciously, you accepted and heard him walk the length of the room, coming to sit beside you on the couch.

You weren’t even dating... Or at least you hadn’t called it that. It had just been a week since your kiss, a week of quick dates and calling him when you couldn’t sleep just to hear the sound of his voice. Things with Escobar were escalating each and every day, and you had noticed how tense Javi had become. He hadn’t been as open as the first day, which you had expected, and he smiled less often.

You couldn’t blame him. The stuff with the cocaine industry and Pablo Escobar was nothing to joke about.

So you tried your best, discreetly getting him coffee at the office or simply holding his hand when you drove through the streets to your next date location together. He rarely said a word about work, like you had also expected. And you knew it wouldn’t be easy: two DEA agents... dating? You hadn’t heard of much worse.

So when you sat beside you on the couch, you curled gingerly in to his side, sipping on your glass of water as he slung his arm across the couch behind you. Only one night had been like this... When you could hear a quiver in his voice over the phone as you were getting ready to bed and told him you were coming, despite his assurances that he was fine.

You knew better.

You knew because of the way his shoulders slumped when you pressed into his side, and how you lazily took his free hand, tangling it in yours and squeezing. And how last time, you had fallen asleep on the couch beside him and woken up the next morning, a blanket draped over you. Javier hadn’t said anything except offer you coffee and a quick, tight hug, like that’s all he could manage.

You gulped down the rest of your water and leaned forward to place it on the table, letting the quiet atmosphere of the apartment relax you. When you settled back against Javi, you rested your head on his shoulder, humming softly when his hand found the back of your head, running his fingers through it.

When he spoke, it surprised you.

“Why do you do this?”

His tone wasn’t conceiving, or hurtful. In fact, you could have sworn he sounded curious, or almost overwhelmed.

You leaned back a little, tilting your head to try and see his eyes. His dark hair had fallen a little over his forehead, covering the only eye you could see.

“What?” You questioned.

“... You barely know me. You drop everything almost two nights in a row and just... Stay here. I don’t understand that.”

You blinked, letting yourself mull over his words as you responded slowly.

“I... I really like you, Javi. I stay because I care. Sometimes we don’t ask for help because we don’t know we need it... I like to think I’m good at knowing when people feel like that. I stay because I know what it’s like to feel alone, and it sucks. So if the most I can do is sit here with you, just for a little while... I’ll do just that.”

You had tried to explain as best as you could, but it didn’t really suffice. Because you didn’t just like him anymore, not for a while. You were slowly coming to love him, flaws and quirks and moods and all.

So, hesitantly raising your hand, you brushed the stray lock of hair out his face, stilling when he flinched. He didn’t move, but his breathing had quickened, and he still hadn’t turned to look at you. Feeling brave, you tucked the hair back into place, your blood icing over when you realized how watery Javi’s eyes were. You had never seen him cry before, not even when he had been drunk out of his mind, never even a sliver of pain or regret in those deep brown eyes.

“Javi,” you breathed, your throat tight. At his name, his nose scrunched up, and he practically slammed his whiskey glass on the table in front of him, rising to stand. You flinched back, withdrawing your hand as he stood sideways of you, his hands in fists as his shoulders heaved with deep breaths. If it was even possible, it felt as if the room had heated up with his dry anger, whatever emotion was boiling under his skin.

And he didn’t scare you.

You had realized early on in the week how much Javi hid himself under his own skin, like he had to perform a hundred percent of the time so he didn’t break. Perhaps it was because of the job. You both knew it wasn’t easy work.

“He... Carillo,” Javi said in a hard, quiet voice. Finally. “He... Killed a kid.”

You breath quaked in your chest. You had heard rumors of what the Colombian police were doing, trying to draw Escobar and his mates out of hiding once and for all. But to hear Javi admit it, it was frightening, and an eerie chill swept over your body.

“He killed him in the middle of an alley, right in front of the others. It was going to change, something would have if Carillo hadn’t...” His voice broke off and his head slumped as he dug his hand into his forehead.

“If he hadn’t shot him, things would be different... We could have gotten Escobar. We wouldn’t be in this fucking mess.”

He had been there, in that alley. He was describing it in too much detail not to have been, and it made you realize why he was distraught, seeking you out for the first time, all those weeks ago.

Before he could move, you shot up, wrapping your arms tight around his back and pressing your forehead into his spine. He shuddered under your hold, his arms raised awkwardly over where your hands were clasped around his middle. He trembled again, but you kept your hold, turning your head to gently place a kiss on the shirt of his back.

“Thank you for telling me,” you whispered.

He relaxed eventually, to your greatest surprise, gently laying one of his hands over the one on his chest, clasping your fingers. You felt him lean his head back, inhaling heavily through his nose and shuddering under your hold.

You turned eventually, instead coming to stand in front of him. His face was dark with shadows from the night sky.

“It wasn’t your fault,” you assured him, reaching up to hold his face. “Maybe you tell yourself it is, maybe you believe you could have done something or helped, but it didn’t happen that way. But that doesn’t mean it’s your fault. You need to forgive yourself, Javi. Be kind to yourself... For once.”

His lip twitched, and there was a small surge of wetness at the corner of his eyes as his hands came up, his eyes closing as he took your own hands.

“It wasn’t your fault... Just believe that,” you said softly. “If not for yourself, do it for his family. For his parents and his siblings. You were not the one holding that gun.”

His face twitched again, and instead of removing your hands, he pulled you against himself, tugging your face into his chest. He held you there, one hand gently cradling your head and the other pressed firm to your lower back. You nuzzled into the course material of his button up, your forehead pressed into his collarbone, his skin still hot from his outburst.

“Will you stay?” Javi asked beside your ear. “I-I know it isn’t protocol within the DEA, f-for agents to... Date.” He paused, but you were only appreciative of his words.

“Just tonight. That’s all I’m asking. No sex... Just... You and me.”

You pulled away slowly, resting your hands on his shoulders as he finally let you look at his eyes. They were still teary, a bit watery around the edges, but he didn’t avoid your gaze.

“Yes,” you assured him, cupping his face with one hand. “Yes, I’ll stay.”

. . . .

“Princessa?”

Javi’s deep voice woke you, and you blinked groggily, pushing yourself off of your stomach to gaze at him in the dim light. In the darkness, you could only just make out the soft features of his face, the scraggly form of his hair from when you had kissed him earlier. You hadn’t made love, but he had lended you one of his shirts and sweatpants anyway, and you had blushed when you had put them on and realized how strongly they smelled of him.

“Javi?” You asked, your voice scratchy. “Are you alright? What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” he said with a small laugh in his throat, but you didn’t believe him.

“Javi,” you pressed, crawling closer so you could lay right on your stomach beside him as he lay on his side. His hand rose to up, kneading the sore muscles of your back, and you sank further into the mattress.

“Are you okay?” You asked. “Really?”

“I... I heard a gunshot outside.”

“It’s alright. Pretty normal around here.”

Javi sighed, his hand rising to tangle in your hair.

“I kept thinking... I’d never forgive myself if something happened to you.”

Your brows furrowed, surprised by his honesty, so you pushed yourself up on your elbows. “What made you think that?”

“... I like you, carino. I like you... and I don’t stop thinking about you. And all of this shit with Escobar has made me so angry lately, I feel so out of control... but you. Seeing you, at the office, or at dinner, or here... In my bed,” he whispered now, drawing his fingers up your arm. “It makes me feel more at ease. And.. And I just wanted you to know that I care about you. More than I have for anyone in a long time.”

Tears building, you bent forward, lazily kissing him. He sighed softly, but you could feel him trembling when you broke away, so you decided to roll closer so you could hug him. He tucked you beneath his chin, fingers tangling in your hair.

“I’ve always distracted myself with other women... I think you now that.”

You huffed softly. “Yeah... I didn’t think any differently of you, Javi. I just didn’t want to be another one night stand, someone you’d forget in the morning.”

A soft kiss on the crown of your head. “I’d never forget you... And having you now, right here, I don’t need anything else.”

“... you wanna have a sleepover?”

You could practically feel his face turn into a grimace. “What?”

“A sleepover... At my place, tomorrow night.”

“What are you, twelve?”

Laughing softly, you pinched his side, making him squirm. “No... Just bring your pillow, and a toothbrush. And pajamas. You won’t fit in mine... because I like this too, Javi. I’ll miss it.”

Javi breathed in deep, and hugged you closer. “Fine. Sleepover it is.”

You hummed appreciatively and kissed the center of his chest, smiling wide as you curled your arms around him.

“... Can I tell you a secret?”

“Sure.”

You breathed in deeply. “I think I’m falling in love with you.”

You could feel Javi stiffen, and you half expected him to slink away and leave, and never talk to you again.

But, he did something you thought was entirely strange. Something the Javier Pena of the DEA would have never allowed others to see, especially his superiors. But perhaps he finally saw you as his equal, no longer a child, or an insecure woman.

He lifted himself up on his elbow, grazing his fingers down your neck until reaching the soft skin on the inside of your wrist. He pulled your hand upwards, kissing your wrist, your open palm, the back of your hand. And then with a sudden surge forward, he nuzzled into you, curling himself around your chest and positioning his head under your chin. It seemed like a wildly submissive, gentle move, allowing you to hold him as his breathing evened out again. He stayed like that for a moment, circling his thumb over your spine before lifting himself up again, and your heart jolted.

Javi was smiling, actually smiling, and you swore you had never seen him so happy.

Taking another sip from your hot drink, you peered out into the night, content to watch the traffic rush by below you, the trees lining the street glittering with moonlight. It was a clear night, even the stars making their appearance over your head. DC was not a quiet city, or particularly gorgeous like the parks hours from where you lived... But it was home.

A buzz at your side caught your attention, and you lifted it to see who was calling.

“That’s weird,” you said out loud, setting your drink aside and planting your bare feet on the ground.

“Marcus?” You answered hesitantly.

“Hey, sweetheart,” his voice, as gentle and kind as ever. But you could hear the pain you knew he never hid well. Above all else, Marcus Pike was not a good lier.

You hadn’t seen him in weeks, at least not since he had arrived in DC for his new position. You had been good friends in high school, kept in touch during college, but you had rarely seen him since he had taken the position with the FBI. It was tough work, and by far no easy task, but you knew Marcus. He had a good balance of compassion and bravery, and you knew the job had suited him well.

But being promoted to a new position in DC, where you had lived for several years, had changed things. You hadn’t seen him in person in... A while, at least. How did he look? Had he grown a beard, or kept it clean shaven like in college? Did his brown eyes still sparkle when he smiled at you?

Having him back in DC had changed things because even though you lived in the same city, you had yet to see him. You had texted but nothing else. Moving into a new apartment and adjusting to the job had kept him busy, and you wanted to leave it up to him as to when he would contact you. Maybe, you thought- and it tore at you- he just didn’t want to see you. To leave things in the past.

But hearing his voice over the phone made your heart flutter, made your crush from all those years ago swell back up again.

“Hi, how are you?” You asked, swallowing the butterflies in your throat. “It’s really good to hear your voice.”

He laughed on the other end, a sound that had your face going warm, smiling to yourself on the outside patio.

“I’m alright, still settling in. Didn’t realize I had so much to unpack.”

“Well, if you need any help, I’m always free on the weekends. Just let me know, okay?” You said, grinning.

“Thanks... How are you doing? Everything going okay?”

You leaned back, breathing deeply. “For the most part, yeah. The job’s keeping me busy, and I have good people there, so it’s worth it... But it’s nice knowing there's a familiar face in town again.”

Marcus sighed on the other end, and you could imagine him pinching the bridge of his nose. “Hey, I’m really sorry I haven’t tried to see you or-”

“Hey,” you cut in gently, not wanting him to feel bad. “Don’t worry about it, seriously. I understand how busy this thing can keep you. I mean, aren’t you running a part of the system or something?”

Marcus laughed again. “Something like that.”

The silence drifted in, just for a moment, before you took a step, feeling brave. “Hey. If you’re free, you could always stop by for dinner one night. Or we could order something, you know, like old times...”

“Old times,” Marcus sighed, and something about the way he said it made you blush. “Take-out and everything?”

You nodded, even though you were by yourself. “Yeah. Sushi rolls and everything.”

“I’d... I’d like that.”

Seeing Marcus in your doorway three nights later had tears springing to your eyes, and he was quick to notice, hugging you gently around the shoulders before you finally latched onto him. He had gained a bit of weight since you had last seen him, but it suited him perfectly. Even when you pulled away, you noticed the light stubble growing on his face, but his soulful brown eyes were just the same.

“Marcus,” you said softly, a bit in disbelief.

He smiled warmly, rubbing your shoulder. “You gonna let me in?”

You took a step back, shaking yourself from your love-struck haze and laughing. “Oh, yeah- sorry! Come in.” You stepped aside, letting him inside and watching as his gaze fell on your apartment. You watched him curiously, seeing the same Marcus Pike from your childhood, your college years... But he had grown. There was a certain ruggedness to him you could only guess had come from working in the FBI, and the weight he had gained seemed to be from the muscle he had formed over the years. And there was a certain hardness to his expression, maybe the disguising of pain or something else, written across his features. It made your heart sink a little. Nevertheless, it was still your Marcus Pike glancing ever so curiously around your apartment.

“It’s really nice in here,” he said. “I like the plants.”

You grinned. “Thanks. I try to keep them alive most of the time. And it seems to be working.”

His eyebrows shot up. Amused. “That’s good... And you look good, sweetheart. It’s been a long time.”

You nodded, inhaling deeply and squeezing your hands tight so your heart didn’t burst from your chest like a teenager.

“Thanks... And- and you do, too! It’s really good to see you again, you have no idea.” You were babbling, you knew it, but Marcus was smiling back at you with those big doe eyes, and you knew he didn’t mind.

After you had both had your share of takeout, you sat beside him on the couch, feet curled under your thighs. Marcus had removed his shoes, socked-feet extended to rest on the coffee table as you talked softly, swapping stories of high school and college days.

“You know, I have a lot of good friends at my job,” you started. “But it’s different with you. It’s different when it’s someone from home. Someone that knew you growing up, when you were at your worst...”

Marcus hung his head, looking the other way. “I kind of feel that way right now.”

Brows creasing in genuine concern, you leaned forward, placing your hand on his arm, but he was quick to sit up, shaking his head.

“Sorry- didn’t mean to bring down the mood.”

“No, really, it’s okay. We can’t be chipper all the time, can we?”

His eyes melted into yours, soft, gentle. Pained.

“Yeah. Guess not.”

The sushi take-out nights became regular, in so that every Friday night, you and Marcus swapped hosting and would spend the evening together. Evenings spent at Marcus’ consisted of eating said sushi, helping him unpack, and eventually ending up sprawled on the floor surrounded by old pictures and yearbooks. Hours and hours spent painstakingly inspecting each one, each old classmate, laughing about old stories and jokes and failed relationships. You loved it, both having your childhood best friend back, reminiscing about old times, and also building a new friendship together. No doubt, your feelings still lay strong for him, but you could sense some pain behind the smiles he gave you, like there was something in Texas he had yet to speak about. You never pressured him, or lingered too long when he did go silent on some obscure topic... Instead, you tried to make him smile again, even if it meant embarrassing yourself in the process.

Since you were young middle schoolers, Marcus Pike had been the kindest man you had ever met, always wanting to serve others, always making sure they were okay. And it didn’t change just because you had come back into his life. And it didn’t help that fluttering in the depth of your heart, either.

One Sunday night, your phone buzzed unexpectedly. You had changed into your pajama pants already, face devoid of makeup, ready to read a good book or finish a tv show before bed. But when Marcus’ name appeared on the screen, you wasted no time in answering it.

“Hello?”

“Hey.” Marcus’ voice was oddly quiet, sounding broken, and it made your stomach sink. “Um, this is kind of awkward, I-I don’t really know why I’m doing this. You’re really my only friend in the neighborhood and I...”

“Marcus?” You said gently, starting to pace. “What’s going on? Are you okay?”

“I’m standing outside your apartment.”

Your eyes nearly popped from your head, and your mouth went dry before you could respond. “Wh... What?”

Keeping the phone to your ear, you practically stomped to the front door, despite wearing half of your pajamas, not looking as presentable as you wanted... But the tone of Marcus Pike’s voice frightened you.

And when you threw the door open, he was standing there with his own phone in his hand, his arm slowly dropping as your gaze fell over him, a bit stunned. He was wearing loose pants and a plain shirt, and his hair was more ragged than you had ever seen it, and his eyes... They were creased, slightly wet at the edges, like he had been crying and forced it away. But Marcus never hid things well, even when he finally shoved his phone away and looked you in the eyes.

“Hi,” you said, a bit flustered.

He breathed out heavily. “I know this is a really big inconvenience to you- you have work in the morning and I do, too-”

“You wanna come in?” You asked.

When Marcus finally sat down next to you on the couch, you sat as close to him as felt reasonable, wanting him to know you were there for him, and that you wouldn’t leave. Whatever had happened had affected him tremendously, and you were just seeing it at this level for the first time. He didn’t say anything for a long time, content to drink the steaming tea you prepared for him.

When he finally spoke, his gaze lingered on the floor, his voice far-off and pained. He explained the whole situation with the art robbery, and meeting Teresa Lisbon, the FBI agent whom he had ended up falling in love with and actually getting engaged to her, only to have her call it off right before she was supposed to meet him in DC. To start their life together, to never even say goodbye or wave him off...

Part of you felt hurt, knowing he had been with another woman, but you couldn’t blame him. Shoving your jealousy away, you focused instead on comforting him, touching his shoulder gently so as to not overstep any boundaries. He had trusted you enough to come to you late at night, with tears in his eyes, and relay everything that had happened and how broken he felt. How confused she would choose someone else... And break it off so quickly.

“I’m so sorry, Marcus,” you whispered. “I really wish that hadn’t happened to you.”

“Trust me, I don’t either,” he admitted.

“Promise me you won’t beat yourself up about it, though? To me, it sounded like it was her decision. It wasn’t because of you... You’re a fantastic guy, Marcus, and you deserve someone who can love you that same way.”

His eyes focused on your face, blinking softly before they suddenly creased again, and tears started building in his eyes.

“Hey, hey, hey,” you whispered, scooting closer to him and placing your hands on his cheeks, cradling his face. It was an intimate action, but you only wanted to comfort him, and he didn’t pull away.

“It’s alright,” you said softly. “You can cry as much as you want. Let it all out, okay? It’s good to do that. And I’ll stay by your side the whole time... You hear me, Marcus? I’ll stay as long as you need me. To hell with work tomorrow.”

The comment made him snicker, but his face resumed its weary expression as he suddenly set his mug aside, coming up to take your hands. But instead of removing them, he pressed them harder to his face, making you shudder.

“Can I be honest?” He asked.

“Yeah. Always.”

“... I’m really glad you’re here.”

Smiling softly, you gathered him in your arms, wrapping yourself around his neck and digging your chin into his shoulder. You could feel his hands press to your back, warm, secure, making you melt into him. You held him like that for a long time, content to comfort him as long as he needed. You could feel wetness gather on the collar of your shirt where Marcus had nuzzled into you, and you knew he had been crying.

“I-I should go,” he said eventually, pulling away and rising from the couch.

“Okay... Just call or stop by if you need anything, okay?” You said, walking him to the door. “I’m here.”

Marcus smiled sadly, and before you could move, he had leaned forward, placing a gentle kiss on the curve of your cheek. There was nothing sensual or pleading in it, maybe as more of just a thank you. But it still made you blush bright red, and there was no hiding it even in the dim light.

You cleared your throat, running a hand through your hair. “Well, um... I guess I’ll see you soon, right?”

But his eyes were kind, despite the tears that still lingered there. “Yeah... Goodnight, sweetheart.”

“Goodnight, Marcus.”

It was a typical Friday night, leaned against the couch sifting through an old yearbook with Marcus beside you, laughing over your junior year photos. It had been three weeks since he had told you what had happened with Lisbon, three weeks and he had grown immensely. His smile was brighter, his eyes glittering, and you could literally see the weight come off your shoulders. You admiration and pride only grew for him as you continued your weekly take-out sessions.

“Oh, gosh, why did I ever think that was a good way to style my hair?” You exclaimed, slapping a hand over your mouth.

Marcus chuckled beside you. “I don’t have much room to talk either. I could barely grow facial hair in junior high... I mean, what the hell is that?”

He pointed to his sorry excuse for a mustache and it had both of you laughing deeply. He kept making jokes about it, having you laugh so hard you doubled-over, tears pricking at your eyes. WHen you finally sat upright, you wiped at your eyes, laughing dryly as you peered over at Marcus. He was watching you intently, brown eyes as large and soulful as ever, and it made you still.

His hand came up, thumb rubbing any scattered tears away, and he held you like that for only a moment before tugging you forward. Goosebumps skittered across you skin and you were sure you were blushing as he tugged you closer, his second hand rising to your face. He was so close now you could feel his warmth breath on your face.

“This alright?” He asked, and you nodded, more than eager to kiss him for the first time. He seemed to be feeling the same way, tilting your chin up so he could gingerly press his lips to yours for the very first time. They were soft, softer than you had imagined, and his arched nose pressed into the flesh of your cheek until he pulled away gently, taking your breath away with him.

Your eyes fluttered open softly, overwhelmed to see how wide his pupils had grown, how deep he was even smiling. Feeling brave, you placed a hand on his chest, leaning forward to kiss him again. He lingered this time, and you let him pull you closer, one hand gently running through your hair. You wanted to pass out from happiness, from the pure joy exuding from your bones. All these years, all that heartache, and Marcus Pike was here, kissing you like he had been holding it in for decades too.

When you finally broke away, you were both blushing, both smiling wide with red lips. And when Marcus walked you back to your apartment, he kissed your cheek softly, smiling even as he walked off into the night.

The next morning, you were light on your feet, springing wide awake so you could take your weekend-morning walk through the park by your apartment. But as soon as you strolled into the park, you noticed a familiar figure walking towards you.

“Marcus?” You questioned, a bit in disbelief as he saw you, grinning widely.

“Hey!” He called, jogging over to you and giving you a quick hug. “What are you doing out here?”

You shrugged. “I try to come here every weekend. It’s nice, isn’t it?”

He nodded, taking a glance around at the glittering leaves overhead and sprinkles of sunshine on the concrete. “It is... I remember you told me about it one week. Mind if I walk with you?”

You beamed. “I’d love that.”

You talked about small things, like the different birds overhead or how work was going. He strayed close, keeping his hands in his pockets as you walked side by side, wanting to reach out and sling your arm through his. After your kiss last night, though, you wanted to take things easy and make sure he never felt as if you pressured him. The image of tears in his eyes from weeks ago still burned in your mind, still made your heart soften for him.

“Hey, can I talk to you about something?” He asked suddenly, pausing in his walk.

“Sure,” you said, stopping in front of him.

“So... I’ve been thinking a lot about what happened last night.”

“Okay.” Your eyebrows shot up. “... And?”

“I have a proposition for you... One I should have asked of you a long time ago.”

You knew exactly where this was going, and tears started building in your eyes. “Marcus...”

“You’ve been my friend for as long as I can remember. We’ve watched each other grow up... And you get more beautiful every year.”

You trembled, almost sobbing. “Oh gosh, Marcus. You’re too sweet to me.”

He smiled softly. “Because you deserve it. No one has been there for me like you have. Even if we don’t see each other for years, you always offer your support, and I really appreciate that... I know we’ve been friends all our lives, but I was hoping you wouldn’t be opposed to...” He breathed in deeply, swallowing.

“To being more than that. Officially.”

“Like... Like your girlfriend?” You asked, and when he nodded gingerly, you leaned forward, lips parted in an awed smile. “Yes.”

He looked a bit taken back, surprised by your quick reaction. “Wait... What?”

“Y-Yeah, I’d really like that. I’ll be your girlfriend.”

His eyebrows shot up. “R-really? You’re sure?”

You nodded, stepping closer. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to be your girlfriend, your partner... Just to be able to do life with you together, and not just as friends. I want to build a life with you, Marcus Pike, just you. As long as I know you’re with me, I want it, too.”

His smile grew, traveling to the sparkles in his deep eyes as he bent forward, hands on your neck as he kissed you sweetly, tenderly, as gently as he had always spoken to you. You melted into him, finding his arms and holding on, pulling yourself closer so when you finally did break away, you could press your forehead to his. The arch of his nose rubbed against yours, and you hummed, pleased.

“I know I’m not perfect,” Marcus started, thumbs rubbing into your hair. “B-But I’ll try, for you.”

“I’m always going to stay with you, Marcus,” you assured him, holding onto him around his shoulders as he pressed a soft kiss to your cheek. “From here on out. You’ll probably get so tired of me being so clingy, you’ll be begging me to leave.”

He huffed. “Impossible.”

You grinned, nuzzling into his neck. “Maybe... I don’t think so, though. I like you too much for that.”

“Oh, really?” He teased, eyes sparkling and lips in a smirk as he leaned back. “I like the sound of that.”

You smiled, heart bursting. “Me too... You’re mine, and I’m yours.”

“Yours.... Mine,” Marcus repeated, sounding dreamy.

Lovestruck.