fellatio sounds like a supporting shakespeare character rather than oral sex on a penis to be honest

MY FINGERS BARELY EVEN TOUCHED YOUR STUPID FUCKING AD STOP REDIRECTING ME TO THE APP STORE

absolutely hate it when the pleasurable activity procrastination hits. i’m going to do something fun that brings me joy but not yet. yeah, not yet. not yet. maybe i shouldn’t do it at all, it’s not that fun

theres a big conspiracy theory going round that you can be horribly flawed and also genuinely loved. crazy if true

guys i have an idea for a movie it's about a musician ☺️ and it's a biopic 🤩 and it tells their story 🧐 because even though they were famous 🥳 they also had some struggles 😔 but also some good moments too 😊 don't you want to come relive their wikipedia page 🤗

some hyper famous artists like Van Gogh transcend overratedness and become underrated because they're so normalized. Like I'll look at a van Gogh and I'm like wait this really is amazing you guys don't get it

Shakespeare is like this

i would rather see the information for an event handwritten in sharpie on a paper towel than see another AI generated flyer

When i was 13 i decided to become penpals with the surviving members of the heavens gate cult who were still maintaining their email/website/book sales and they responded to me a couple of times before my mom found out and i genuinely couldnt fathom why she would be upset with me

YOU don’t have to be perfect to be loved. but I do

Stop saying Calvin and Hobbes it’s important to me that Calvin is six and not nine.

I take it the nine-year-old was literally driving the vehicle?

The nine-year-old was literally driving the vehicle after knocking the gear shift into Drive apparently by accident. Seven- and five-year-olds in the backseat. Nine-year-old knows in movies people stomp down on the thing on the floor and the car stops. He stomps. It is the gas.

one of the funnier incidents of me assuming someone knew a meme irl was when a new coworker was talking about some woman who got arrested for tax fraud and I went "God forbid women do anything" and he got scared and thought I was accusing him of being sexist, so he started apologizing and saying how tax fraud isn't even bad, actually.