ϟ WIZARD ϟ

#happy international women's day

woke up this morning, rolled over, and very confidently tried to blow out my alarm clock like a candle. absolutely no precedent for that.

Ebeneezer in 1742 wakes with a start as for some reason he has put out his guttering candle by slapping atop it ith the palm of his hand. His hand is burned and his nightgown and cap are spattered with hot wax.

…you have too much time on your …HANDS.

what compelled you to do this

Reblog to actually save a life

Reblogging, because this is so important. When I was learning how to cook for myself in my tweens, I had at least a five years of fire safety seminars from school drilling this into my head, and I STILL had that instinctive put-the-fire-out-with-water reflex. Didn’t even think. I saw our oily burner catch fire after frying eggs, whipped around towards the sink for water, and my brain immediately screamed NO!!! NO WATER! I mean that fire safety stuff straight up bitchslapped me out of REFLEXIVELY setting my house on fire. I found a pot lid and inched it over the burner before turning off the heat. Even if you think you know this stuff, panic is powerful shit. Make knowledge more powerful.

“Even if you think you know this stuff, panic is powerful shit. Make knowledge more powerful.”

the thing i love about social animals is they necessarily have a concept of manners which means that you can be rude to them. not threatening, but rude. and they’ll be annoyed at you for it.

Why is this person being a dick to an innocent Beast

:/

i'd rather see 1000 graffiti penises than 1 product billboard. i'd live in dick city if it meant i could avoid advertisements in my daily life.

whenever i get low on money i start thinking really irrationally like what if i hadn’t spent that $10 back in 2004 

the more time that passes the better this post gets

why do these kittens have the exact same energy as a nest of baby owls

They only showed two hunts, and said one in three is successful. So he's probably on par. That said, 1 in 3 is pretty good numbers for a lot of predators. Hunting is really hard it turns out.

Leave him alooooone his legs are too short and his paws are cold😭