~alive and livid~

it's all about DIY, king!!!! 70% of my closet is diy and there's so many good things about it! it's:

- simple: it could be as simple as ripping and adding safety pins

- unique: nobody's gonna have shit that you made

- personal: the sense of accomplishment of creating something and feeling "hell yeah I made you"

I see a lot of stuff going around so I might as well address my opinion on it

Having depression is hard. It's hard to get out of bed, it's hard to go to work, it's hard to take care of yourself. I know seeing all these posts, "when you're depressed, take a hot bath and cook your favorite meal" definitely doesn't help me. Because it's so goddamn difficult to do that shit sometimes. I've been living with depression my whole life, and I've learned it's okay to settle for less-than-perfect.

If you can't shampoo and condition your hair as well as wash your body, use 3in1. People make fun of that all the time— saying it doesn't get you clean, it's bad for your hair long-term, it's what men with bad hygiene use... But if it's what you gotta use, then use it. Yeah, it's not gonna end up perfect, but at least you used some soap. But at least it's getting done.

If you can't do an extensive skin care routine, just use face wipes. Yeah, it's not gonna get rid of acne scarring or make you look perfectly glowy, but at least your skin won't be so oily anymore. At least it's getting done.

If you can't put product in your hair, hairspray, gel, whatever the fuck, then just tie it up in a bun. Yeah, it's not gonna be the best, but at least it's out of your face. At least it's getting done.

If you can't make yourself a healthy meal, then just make some cereal, or a sandwich, or even a bag of chips. Yeah, it's not the healthiest, but at least you're eating. At least it's getting done.

If you can't sleep all night, then take a nap midday. Yeah, it's not enough sleep, yeah, you're spending time sleeping rather than working, doing homework, or cleaning. But at least you're getting sleep. At least it's getting done.

If you can't hang out with friends, especially now, then call them. Yeah, you can't do activities, yeah, you can't go places. But at least you can talk to them. At least it's getting done.

Today’s post is going to be mainly instructional, as I’ve had many people ask me how I get the fabulous wardrobe which I have. The very short answer is: Patience and time, LOTS of patience and LOTS of time. However, over the years of shopping for an impossible body type, I’ve learned a lot of things. So, here go my best tips for building YOUR best wardrobe: 1. Learn to love shopping, not buying things, but actually SHOPPING. This is a practice in learning to love your body, happily spending hours in many stores, and recognizing that shopping is the act of going places, trying things, and then making decisions. You do not actually ever have to BUY something on a shopping trip for it to be successful. I will consider a shopping trip successful if I’ve tried on two dozen things and walked out empty handed, because at least I tried and I’ve learned more things about my body, my style, and the stores which I shopped. 2. Try on everything. I say you must love shopping, because a proper shopping trip should take hours. Do you think that top is cute? Grab it and try it on. Those pants might fit, but the tag says they are a size too small? TRY THEM. Is that shirt an ugly color but you love the cut? TRY IT, maybe you can find another color online. Every single thing that catches your eye, grab it and try it on. Grab multiple sizes. Grab so many clothes you can’t carry them back to the dressing room. Do this five more times. I routinely try on between 40-50 things on any given shopping trip. 3. IF IT DOESN’T FIT, IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT. IT’S NOT YOUR BODY’S FAULT. Please repeat this. Over and over. Say it in the mirror. Say it to your best size 0 friend. Say it to your best size 32 friend. Say it until you believe it then say it 30 more times. Sizing is a vague suggestion at best. Don’t dare let vanity or fashion sizing make you feel worse about your body. Any woman can tell you that she wears probably a range of 6 different sizes depending on the brand and even the piece of clothing. You MUST accept that if something doesn’t look good in a mirror, it’s the piece’s fault, not your body’s fault.

I find this to be the absolute biggest obstacle between most women and a fabulous wardrobe. So many friends say ‘I tried ten things and nothing fit so I gave up, now I hate myself, let’s go eat ice cream.’ Please don’t let a bad fit strengthen your anxiety or your demons. I promise, people smaller than you look bad in clothing as well. 4. Only buy things that make you look f*cking fantastic. You will know it when you see it. That shirt which makes you look two sizes smaller. The dress which brings out your eyes. That neck line which makes your boobs look banging. The reason you try on 40-50 things isn’t because you’re looking for something that fits, but you are looking for something that makes you happy to wear it. We all have those special pieces in our wardrobe that give us a confidence boost – EVERY piece of clothing you own (after many months/years of following these tips) should do that. When you let yourself wait to find things that make your body look GREAT, it helps to quiet those demons of things that didn’t fit. 5. Don’t buy something just because it fits okay or because you want to get out of there. If you just want to be done with shopping and you haven’t found anything? Walk away. You aren’t in the headspace for this and are more likely to make poor fashion decisions in haste and impatience.

6. Clearance racks and outlet/over-stock stores are the places to be. Because I like to try on a billion things and have a large wardrobe, I generally only go to the clearance section of my favourite stories. Yes, the things are out of season, but you’re building a long term wardrobe, not something for the current fashion week. I grab *every single piece* that is in/around my sizes and I might even sort of like. Once I’ve cleared the rack of my sizes, I get to trying on two dozen pieces. I generally will walk out with 1-2 things, at a deep discount, which I totally love. 7. Make shopping trips a regular part of your monthly routine. You are more likely to spend MORE money on WORSE pieces when you HAVE to buy something for work, a wedding, summer, etc. If you add shopping when there is no real pressure and follow the tips above, you should end up stocking up a wardrobe for all occasions that you LOVE, not that you have bought out of stress and obligation. At least once a month, take a day to go to all your favourite stores. Pull dozens of pieces. Only get what you love. Get your swimsuits in the fall on clearance! Always buy that perfect little black dress when it’s on sale, even if you don’t need one! You may only walk out with 1-2 things for HOURS of shopping, but if you do this every month, you don’t need to make a mass amount of purchases. 8. Shop Alone. Unless you and the other person have very similar sizing, are both following the same rules, AND you trust that person with your emotions completely, it’s best not to bring company. Otherwise, you will be going through body jealousy of the other person (or they of you), one of you is going to get impatient, or it will be harder to be honest with yourself and someone else about how you look in a piece. Alone? You have all the time in the world. This can be your ritual. There are no eyes to judge or rush you. You can get to know and love your body like the goddess you are – trust me, your body deserves attention and love. 9. Get to know your stores – online and in person. Make specific stores a regular part of your routine. As you order/buy from them, you will understand their specific fit better and it will become easier to buy pieces that are fantastic. This is harder online, but even MORE important. Ordering online is a great idea, but only do it from places with a good returns policy. If you are ordering online, you MUST be willing to return things that do not fit! It’s the same as trying it in a store, just a lot longer a wait. Modcloth has a great returns policy, as does Amazon.

TL;DR: Shop monthly with no obligation to buy anything; try on dozens of pieces and only buy if it’s perfect (My ratio tends to be 15:1); don’t judge your body when something doesn’t fit, just move onto the next piece; truly only buy something that makes you feel GREAT; go alone; give yourself plenty of time; get to know your stores; thrift stores and clearance racks are great; and give yourself plenty of time on any given trip. I hope this helps you ladies (and gents) understand how to build a wardrobe that you love without breaking the bank. I may write a longer piece about online shopping later, but this is a good start for you all now. Best of luck my friends! Go be stylish!