Everything I Never told You by Celeste Ng

Everything I Never told You reinforces a quintessential truth about page-turners: page-turners can also be great literature. Catalogued among experts like Lily King (Euphoria) and Jennifer Egan (a visit from the goon squad), Celeste Ng’s novel silently yearns to be read much like youngest daughter in the novel quietly yearns for attention. 

It is harrowing, pleading, insistent. Full of the longing of “wouldn’t it be nice if we were older” and rife with the consequences of growing up and missing out. Ng litters the shimmering tale with simile so accurate, I find smoky feelings materialize inside me and vie for space.

Set against the backdrop of a 1977 white-washed Ohio college town (and sometimes earlier), the Lees, an interracial couple with three children, lose their future in the first sentence: “Lydia is dead.” Lydia, the eager-to-please daughter who resembles the caucasian mother, is the vessel for her mother’s missed opportunity at medical school and her father’s inability to fit in. The parents fill Lydia with their hopes like a message in a bottle, singular in their focus, both desperate for reparation for their flawed pasts. 

The book has been published in over 20 languages. On the traditional Chinese cover, the text - or characters - are shaded in such a way that the part of the character which indicates ear and mouth fade - a clever foreshadowing about the lack of communication in the book. 

Like. I remember back in my grocery store cashier days I did so much crazy shit.

When WIC (Women, infants, and children voucher program to help low income mothers/families with children) people were in my line I would pretty much know who they were. Before the cards they had to tell us upfront they were WIC and show us their vouchers for what they were allowed to get (it was awful some times. Like. 2 gallons of milk. $4 worth of vegetables etc etc). They’d always have items hanging back, waiting to see what the total was and if they would have to take it off the belt.

I began to place the fruits/vegetables a certain way on the register scale so that like 1/2lbs of grapes read as like .28lbs or something. Then act shocked when I said that they still had X amount of lbs left. They got all their fruit and vegetables.

I think it started to kinda? Catch on to the women? Because I would have the same moms in my line month after month. And even after they switched to the cards (they worked like food stamp cards?) I’d still do the same thing. They were able to get more produce for whatever shitty max amount Indiana gave them.

do i laugh like my great grandfather, because that's the way my grandma laughed, and my mom copied her?

does the way my dad make comedic sounds when he's driving actually originate with a distant uncle two hundred year ago, who made funny noises in the horse-drawn cart because it made his niece laugh?

“Alright I’ll come out… but only to people with good reading comprehension”

I know, you’re getting stuck on the line about New York. Here’s the thing after her brief stint in London, Dianna moved to New York too and the other 99.9% of the lyrics are a perfect fit and we all know it. Taylor made it obvious with the colour, the phones, the roommate, the Rosè, the stain on her shirt, roses, the vinyls!

Taylor wore the RED ring when she announced Maroon. The ring she created to copy this ring:

From this night:

Which was literally the night she got splashed with wine.

And ‘I chose you’ is a direct callback to Ours!

In High Fidelity she references April 29th. We all know about the Circus birthday party, but let’s look at another of Di’s birthdays.

2016

That year was a mess for Taylor. Kanye’s Famous had come out, her socials were flooded with snakes. She had the depo for her trial against the DJ. Calvin had caused drama. They were setting her up for Hiddlestunting. Kissgate had already caused strain on Kaylor and Karlie’s torn allegiances only made it harder.

Which brings us to:

Dianna’s labyrinth themed birthday in NYC.

And Midnights has a song called Labyrinth!

About being scared to fall in love and feeling like her plane was going down. Our dramatic Queen of the many personas literally cut the wings off a plane in LWYMMD.

Before burying her 2014 Met Gala self and raising her OOTW self by crawling out of a grave.

Back to High Infidelity:

Which refers to: ‘this love came back to me.’

Resurrected with her cross literally ‘glowing in the dark’. Now I know the articles claim Taylor was at Gigi’s party in LA, but that was the night of the 28th. Taylor raced back to NYC as soon as it was over and was spotted coming out of a club on the 30th:

The same day as Dianna’s party which again was in NYC. Because Dianna had moved to NYC earlier that year to film The Noviciate in Nashville. (Where she took her break in Graceland near Tupelo, used her socials to play the Swiftgron mating call and Taylor likely joined her given the incredibly dirty caption on the photo she posted. But that’s a post for another day when I do a Tis the Damn Season / Dorothea writeup.)

So maybe, just maybe, Taylor left all these clues not to suggest we should associate Maroon, a mature Red, with another muse, but to make us ask:

Okay so clearly I've underestimated y'all

So how about we make this more interesting?

Us:

When I made this post, it was supposed to be a joke

I mean, none of my posts ever get more than 20 notes if I'm lucky, so what are the odds of one reaching 666k? Impossible, haha

But then, something happened, something I didn't expect

People actually began to... like it? And... reblog? And comment?

Before I knew it, my notifications were swarmed with comments after comments after reblogs after comments all on this one post

Then, still in the mindset of this being a joke, I realised I'd made the goal too easy, so I upped the stakes

But... the notes just got more frequent from there

And it started to hit me just what was happening

For a while, I was overwhelmed with a feeling

A feeling I wasn't used to

It was like... all of a sudden... I mattered...

My existance was actually noteworthy

People actually... cared?

It wasn't a game anymore, it was a race to assure a stranger on the Internet that they were actually worth something

Hundreds of people all gathering in one online place to help out

Leaving messages and well wishes

Making me smile

Making me laugh

Funny comments

Jokes

Fun facts

Even simple comments

It all suddenly felt so real

This was never a joke to you

This was important

And I won't let any of that go in vain

So... stay tuned I suppose

I'll look after myself, and I'll post proof of it too

I'll catalogue every time I put my health first

Physical and mental

I'll acknowledge my bad days and celebrate my good days

But most of all

I won't forget this

Any of this

Ever

(Tagging all the people in that screenshot)