hello vonnie
trying on a metaphor

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@alienancestry

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“I don’t care about dumb weed jokes,” I said naively, before I saw this
AHAHA
“wow, janice! i sure do love the Rodent Dome!”
what the fuck are those
Those are children

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i never want context
Oh my god, they sprang this on us in our old church years ago, and my family has never let this joke die.
Okay, here’s the stupid gender essentialist metaphor:
Women are like spaghetti because their thoughts noodle all over the place. Men are like waffles because there thoughts are in boxes. Men aren’t bad listeners, they just can’t keep up with a conversation when women are noodling topics so fast and they have to keep switching boxes. Also, when a woman asks a man what he’s thinking and he says “nothing” women just don’t understand that some of a man’s boxes literally have nothing in them, haha!
….. :|
Anyway, if you think me and my brothers and my mom don’t constantly give each other sad, tragic faces and say “I’m sorry, my waffle box is empty today” and “noodle faster!” and “you are failing at being a waffle” and “I can’t be clearer, I am a plate of spaghetti” pretty much indiscriminately in all directions all the time…. you would be wrong.
Occasionally the context of a Dadaist post makes it even better.
Whatthehickityheck
Pepto bismobile
OP change your fucking url
After watching all of GOT with my mom, it’s so much easier now.
We both shout, “Where’s the dick” because the cowards refuse to show us the dick.
I think they enjoyed that :))

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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3 years ago I got off work late & was in line at the grocery store and I accidentally made eye contact with a white boy in a SnapBack, he looked me up and down then in the sleaziest voice said “Salaaaa malaikum” to this day it echoes as I see him vividly during sleep paralysis
he was just greeting you lmao
When someone breaks into your home and whispers “h-hewwo…? uWu ” In your ear as you lie still in fear, I will be in the corner, grinning. You look at me, your eyes pleading, begging for help. But what do I say? “He was just greeting you lmao” it echoes in the suddenly cold room. You hear it again, somehow getting closer. “H-h-hewwo? Is anyone thewe? OwO” who will save you now?
hey op you ok?
the only good JFK assassination theories
1. his head just did that
2.
This is cauliflower and ketchup erasure and @aglet-ampersand and I will not stand for this!
Send help I’ve been laughing for 15 minutes the internet killed my sense of humor
I was expecting exactly that and was not disappointed
My girl said she got an STD 🙅🏾♀️❌
I said FRICK that 😡💪🏾
We in this together 👫💕😳
That’s an stWE now 💋😍🙈
Op do you take constructive criticism????
straight men really are on something else
Does this guy think that…women don’t have knees?

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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white women: omg i read an article that men hate high waisted skirts so i wore 17 pairs on top of eacha other to school because fuck the patriarchy and my principal told me to take it off because it was a hindrance so i spit acid into his eyes. ANY WOMAN SHOULD WEAR WHATEVER SHE WANTS. #feminism
tumblr: 200000000000+ notes
black women: i can’t go shopping without dressing like i’m going on an interview. i have to prove with my clothing choice that i have money to the store clerks because if i go out in sweatpants and a t-shirt they’ll accuse me of stealing and perform embarrassing and degrading searches on me in front of everyone. white women may be free to wear whatever they want, but i am not.
tumblr: 3 notes.
it’s dark
lemme help you with that @i-am-a-fish !
AAAAAAHHHHH
WHaT HaPpENeD?!?!?!
could someone please turn the light back off again im not properly dressed and im very embarrassed