X_X

when an npc in a sneak games goes “What was that” babygirl dont worry about it 

Hell yeah im a slut (non practicing)

hell yeah im a slut (very practicing)

Make you own post then skank

People who act aggressive and negative as fuck and then when you’re like “hey can you stop” they’re like “I’m going through some stuff 🥺🥺🥺” like damn dude that’s crazy me too - for example right now I’m going through YOUR behavior.

“I’m dealing with a lot 🥺🥺🥺” and I’m dealing with you so I guess we’re even

If your reactions to your trauma or your problems are making other people around you feel unsafe you need new coping mechanisms.

good god when the mr clean magic eraser hits the stove......

the panties hit the floor

you know it brother

Cant tell you how many times I rawd*gged my husband after I caught him using a magic eraser to clean the pasta sauce I burned onto the burner like some kind of primordial insect

you know what i wish you would tell me

like imagine being slightly wine-drunk and having your thighs kissed in a sunny field of wildflowers

a tick wrote this

You can have a fully gay threesome, but you can’t have a fully straight threesome.

The straights once more crumble before the might and grace of the humble homosexual

you have no proof that i am not at least one of the members of daft punk

proof: they are from France and there are two of them at the Grammies tonight.

um fucked up how one moment you’re twelve and the next you’re in literal and metaphorical debt to the whole world

spring is so crazy you go outside and youre like damn its green

@ the water that drips down my arms when i wash my face and makes a big ass mess: fuckin fight me

normalize flopping. it’s ok to fail baby. sexy even

the amount of people saying "i thought you meant flopping on the ground". target audience

You cant out run your past, Sonic

i cant believe this was something that a real person said to me once. wonder how hes doing. wonder if hes seen this post

getcho ass outta here aint no one tryina fuck with you shark

everyone’s having their mid-life crises at like 19