alex

- I’m transmasc/genderfluid and autistic 🏳️‍⚧️

- I’m not a minor >:D

- I love art in all its forms

- I’ve wanted tumblr for a while, but never considered getting it until just now so here I am lol

- I love anime and manga (my faves are Chainsaw Man, Demon Slayer, Beastars, and The Summer Hikaru Died)

- I dabble in writing (I’ve been working on a novel since high school 😭)

- My favorite video games are the LoZ franchise, RDR2, all the Pokémon games, PJSK, and Minecraft

I think that’s just about it lol

Until we meet again,

- Alex

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Recently one of my friends confronted me and asked about the possibility of me being trans, and I had to keep denying it until he bought the act because he, along with the rest of my friend group, is extremely transphobic. Afterwards, I started realizing that the whole conversation felt like the opening scene of TSHD, where Yoshiki asks “Hikaru” if he’s the real Hikaru, and “Hikaru” immediately folds and reveals his true form to him.

If I had admitted that I was trans right away, I know for sure I would’ve lost my entire friend group. The friends I’ve made and kept over the course of over five years would’ve been gone in an instant.

Of course, I’ve come out to a few people that I know are allies, kinda like how Yoshiki is the only one who knows about “Hikaru.” I know that those people are good at keeping secrets, so I’m not worried about them accidentally outing me to someone else.

But even with a select few people knowing, there’s still a huge weight on my shoulders.

I’m a trans person hiding amongst a bunch of Catholic people. Much like how “Hikaru” is a 200 year old eldritch mountain spirit hiding amongst a bunch of humans.

There are already a lot of theories that TSHD is an allegory about being closeted in a homophobic environment disguised as a supernatural horror story, but after having to experience something similar to what “Hikaru” experienced, I can definitely see that interpretation of the story. Of course, nothing is said upfront about it, but the undertones are enough proof to go off of.

With all that being said, TSHD has become very meaningful to me as a closeted individual, and it’s comforting in a way to have a character to relate to.

“You’ve probably been targeted.