#trans rant

After I became cis again, after the last time I was trans, I put off the reason why I wanted to be a woman was just because I was into "feminine things", and I would be just fine as a man. The main reason I thought this was because I liked makeup, feminine clothing, and speaking in a less manly voice but still liked having my manly giblets. Besides, I wasn't born thinking "ohhhh I should've been a woman", I only used those pronouns online when I was pretty young to make people think I was old enough to play Rec Room in 2018, and I only completely committed to it because I dated a trans woman, and was jealous of how freely they could be more feminine presenting. Right?

Yeah, no. Now that I look back on it, there was probably a reason why I really was super happy when I was tricking people into thinking I was a teenage girl on Rec Room, and not some young boy that shouldn't have had access to a headset. After that girl I dated, I transitioned because she gave me confidence, which was then crushed when I told one of my friends that I "didn't want to be a man."

I would love to transition, but the state I live in would make that difficult, and I don't really have the means to move away either. I *need* the scholarships in my state to get a degree. Even worse, my parents would take an even longer time to accept me due to their political beliefs. I might start using she/her pronouns online, but it still feels kind of weird to go back to that.

Still, thank you to Clara, and the people who have liked, replied, or reblogged my post. You have given me confidence and answers, and I genuinely couldn't thank you more.

Sorry if there are misspellings, typos, or pieces of incorrect grammar. I made this in like 8 minutes with minimal editing. If there's something I need to change or clarify, lmk.

I'm not used to being this open on a public forum, but at least it is mostly anonymous.

too many times have i seen cis people that claim to be allies and just not actually be an ally beyond “trans people are kinda cool”

these people will say they love trans people, but then:

degender us

misgender the ones they dont like

expect us to exist in a way that keeps them comfortable

etc…

and im not saying that i hate people for supporting us by the way

however…

a lot of you never actually put in the work to actually care for us and be an ally

Your opinions that wouldn't feel out of place coming from the mouths of exact people we protest against.

It's all of us or none of us.

I pray you dont see an ounce of the liberation we fight for when you have done nothing but swindle and lie and pretend while you regress not only our progress but the progress of those who fought so hard to get us here. How dare you even think you deserve to see it.

If any of this has struck a chord with you or upset you then good. Take a good look in the mirror once in a god damn while. Take off that mask and see if you see the face of enemy. Were you ever one of us to begin with? Or just another infiltrator sewing discontent.

This is a community. We stand strong together.

first. transition doesn't always mean medical transition, sometimes it's using their chosen name and pronouns, letting them grow their hair or have a certain haircut that matches better their gender expression, wear different clothes. plus, if medical transition such as hormones were the issue, that "what if they regret it later on life?", that's why it's recommended, if not obligatory for transgender people to talk to a therapist, not because being transgender is a mental disorder but because it can help you figure out things about yourself better and in professional company. not to mention, puberty is also something that you can't undo, if HRT not being reversible is what concerns you. once you hit puberty you can't just go back, it sticks with you on life. some people are willing to go through a "second puberty" if that means feeling like their body finally feels right and aligned to their gender.

second. the alcohol/tobacco consume is nothing at all compared to living as yourself??? why do i even have to explain this??

three. consider this, most cisgender people doesn't have to wait years until they can present as the gender they identify as because they identify same as their agab (assigned gender at birth, which was most likely decided based on their genitals when they were born) meanwhile trans kids suffer distress, isolation among other things because they aren't given the same freedom that cisgender kids have naturally because they identify as their agab. it's unfair.