i love you but you're all terrible

Bitch I don’t even know you. And you’re a deer.

On the one hand, this year’s April Fools gag just being a game of centipede is kind of lazy, but on the other hand, I am sincerely relieved whenever this website shows any signs of life at all. I am glad they had the budget to do something for April Fools.

Being on Tumblr in 2026 is a lot like owning an extremely elderly cat and April Fools is like watching your geriatric pet get the zoomies. She’s still got it! She’ll live forever.

does anyone have that one drawing of a greyhound from like the 1920s or whatever please please please i need it the one where it looks like a single piece of forlorn wire i need it

i think substack kind of reveals the problem with a lot of young writers and it's that they have nothing to talk about beyond writing and weepy little bits of introspection about "the unbearable fragility of young adulthood" or their failed relationships or living in new york that all say the same things. idk maybe training just to Write doesn't give you much to say

Part of the problem is there's too much culture in New York, paradoxically leading to its residents to only talk about New York. We should ship all the writers to Ohio, so Ohioanites finally have something to talk about and we can get some good substacks about corn fields.

Or, hey, instead of Ohio, how about Iowa? I bet we would get really great non-homogenous culture if a bunch of talented young writers were just shipped off to Iowa to interact with each other and do Iowa stuff. We wouldn't have to get rid of the NYC scene, it could be a competing power center. I think this is the solution to all our problems.

hi *without intention or ability to start a conversation*

Im always like "i will not add my two cents. i will not add my two cents" but i cant lie the pennies are getting sweaty in my hand

you're so vain you probably think this vaguepost is about you

heated rivalry is set in a wild fantasy world where male professional athletes deserve to live

i'm no david lynch but I know peak when I see it, twin