a single-cell shark

being an adult is just saying to yourself “this is the weekend i’ll clean my [x]” and then proceeding to not do that because it’s the weekend and you deserve to relax, goddamnit

why does this have 85K notes

because we reblogged it instead of cleaning our [x]

phone somehow autocorrected "the joker" to "the worker." why so devoid of class consciousness, batman

“be gay do crime! but sex is yucky and crime is wrong!” ass website

samsung have announced they're releasing a smart toaster featuring an onboard AI chatbot

yes removing the speaker will void the warranty

i thought this was a joke since a toaster is just about the most ridiculous thing to add a chatbot to, but no, it's real

look I'm not gonna pretend I know anything about electronics, but sometimes a plug is so big it blocks another socket, and I'm always like "who the fuck do you think you are"

I just felt someone Z-target me

[clearly circle-strafing you] don't be ridiculous

u heard about this shit?

We are fucked