agraphobic

woohoo I love tearing my fucking skin open because I saw a tiny imperfection on my arm and decided that picking at it wld make it disappear but LOOK WHOS A CLOWN NOW ITS ALL INFLAMED

asky asky!!!

imagine someone actually giving a fuck ?? about your day??? and your feelings?? imagine someone giving a fuck about you ????

ask me about my triggers PLEASE

The porn industry is actually disgusting. And it’s disturbing how easily I was able to stumble upon it (at 11 ffs) and brainwash myself into thinking that that’s normal sexual behavior or something 🤢 it makes people nasty. Like I grew up thinking that fucking assaulting “innocent” young girls was attractive or some shit,, it’s dangerous af not only for creating disgusting men but deluding girls into thinking this is normal sexuality.

you didn’t love me, you just wanted to be loved. And I didn’t love you, because I just wanted to be loved. so you did whatever you could to forge a connection with me, to get me to love you, but that isn’t love that’s lying. I made excuses after excuses for you and lied to myself, pushed off your abuse so you could love me, but that wasn’t love that was denial. I did what you wanted, sent what you wanted. I know ur dirty vile and disgusting but deep down you’re just lonely. But I won’t be used as ur emotional “pick me up” anymore. And there won’t be any excuses this time

fuck.

fuck a sugar daddy, i need a narco boyfriend

holy shit i cannot stress this enough

don’t underestimate online trauma. I think there’s just a certain shame and self hatred in feeling like you could’ve “easily stopped” ur experience before it happened (“you should’ve just blocked them?? you weren’t safe enough online”..”you didn’t report them??”) it makes me feel disgusting feeling like it’s all my fault. I did disgusting things , i took pictures and videos and sent them, i logged on and talked to you for hours each night... I think, I wasn’t forcibly pinned down or threatened with violence.. but it’s those kinda thoughts, feeling unjustified, is what fucks me up the most. Sometimes I just wish I was held down, and physically forced, so I could just say.. that wasn’t me.,, there was nothing I could have done.. instead of feeling like that naive slut who got herself in too deep.