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It's so embarrassing to admit that the reason I stopped my medication in the middle of finals and haven't restarted taking them since is because of the weight gain that came as a side effect. I've been getting so much worse mentally and physically since December. It's so noticeable even through my own twisted vision, and yet I can't bring myself to take my meds again.

I actually went and picked up the refill, I look at the bottles every night, feeling so disappointed in myself. But I see the numbers on the scale drop faster than they have in years, and suddenly, all the pain and the hurt that being off my meds brings becomes worth it.

And just like that, all my bad habits came back. I even restarted self-harming. I can feel myself withering away. I know my body can't handle the way I'm treating it, not anymore I've abused it too much.

I'm gonna fucking die from this and I can't stop myself.

#vent #tw ed rant #tw ed #tw self harm #tw eating disorder #tw ed ana

theheavenlybat

It will never get better. It never has and never will. I have a DISORDER caused by TRAUMA. Shit like that doesn’t disappear.

yikes-ajax-thats-sad

When you know what that one little trigger is that immediately makes you spiral but you could never say because it's so selfish and stupid hahahahaha! Look at you hahahahah!!

ventspamm

I may not kill myself over this. But I'm definitely taking my pain out of my body the second I'm free.

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I'm gonna lose him and its gonna be all my fault

#bpd #vent #bpd vent #trauma #bpd favorite person #bpd fp #bpd relationships

I keep ruining everything

Why am I like this

ventspamm

Love when i want to reach for help but it feels attention seeking

obsessedmutt

why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me why are you ignoring me

givemeantypsychotics

loving me is like watering a dead flower

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flowerytale

Susan Sontag, from “Reborn: Journals and Notebooks, 1947-1963″

Why do I keep getting off my meds, I know it's not good for me and yet I always end up in this situation

It's dangerous. I'm not supposed to be doing this... The brain zaps are the worst, I feel like I'm fucking tweaking istg

I feel violently suicidal every time and yet I always wonder why I feel like this uuugh I need to get my shit together like rn

#vent #bpd #bpd vent #trauma #medication #antidepressants #anti psychotics

witchblade

im on that good kush an acahol

Man getting beat my my ex hurt less than feeling ignored by my bf

Why am I like this

#tw abuse #tw domestic abuse #bpd vent #vent #bpd #trauma #bpd favorite person #bpd fp #bpd relationships #tw dv #dv survivor

sacred-portal

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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cringyguuurl

Nah sorry but catching another cold a week after getting over the last is my 13th reason.

My body and I are gonna tussle cuz I don't have the time for this!!!!!

cringyguuurl

Update : it's happened again for the third time

Group project are gonna be the death of me

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