For those of you who have been following along, here is a list of the fics in The Problem of Pain Series. (I will update with Links as they are posted.)
PART 1: Holy War
On a mission to help end the Holy War, Beatrice sustains life-threatening injuries and has to fight to survive, while Lilith, Camila, and Ava attempt to secure crucial artifacts for the fight to come. Mother Superion makes her way to them, but will it be enough?
PART 2: Once A Rookie
Beatrice shows up at the gates of Cat's Cradle young and a little afraid of what's to come. She's spent her last several years trying to make up for a horrible misunderstanding that got her sent away from the home her parents had built - Outcast from their legacy to maybe find salvation in serving the church. A highly competent team of 2 nuns and a shotgun adopt her as their rookie and teach her everything she knows.
incredible art by @princington
PART 3: (title tbd)
Follows Beatrice through S1, and S2. It’s mostly going to be little snippets of Off screen moments setting up for Holy War and putting Ava and Beatrice together.
PART 4: Beatrice Alone
Beatrice finds herself sitting at the edge of the arc at the end of season 2. Beatrice copes with losing Ava (or at least tries), finds Lilith, and picks up everyone’s favorite man (Brother Kiva).
Part 5: Guess Who’s Back
You guessed it! The reunion we were all waiting for had the team back together and tossed headfirst into the fight for the world. Ava adjusts to being back. Beatrice confronts her past. Camila has some troubles at Notre Dame. Lilith is Lilith.
or
Moments and Missions Leading into Holy War
Part 6: Battels
Beatrice is finally pulled from the coma induced at the end of Holy War and, with the help of her sisters, learns to cope with a difficult recovery as she tries to get back into the fight. The rest of the team and the OCS are there as much as they can while trying not to let the fate of the world slip away. They are all doing their best, but a lifetime of fighting takes a toll, so many tolls on the body, the mind, and the spirit, and some are easier paid than others
Part 7: Iron in Bloom
Shannon Masters has grown up around New York's finest, and following in her Father Sean's footsteps was the only thing that mattered. But when everything goes to shit, Shannon finds herself reeling.
Enter: The Order of the Cruciform Sword
Or
Shannon's original story for The Problem of Pain AU series, and how she came to be in Once A Rookie.
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mira has this habit of saying "i'm just gonna close my eyes for a second."
this statement has never once meant "i'm just gonna close my eyes for a second." it means she has accidentally initiated a two-hour nap.
it doesn't matter where she is. couch, floor, car ride, rumi's shoulder. if she's comfortable for more than a minute, she's gone.
after enough years together, rumi and zoey have learned to stop asking if she's asleep. they'll hear complete silence, glance over, and immediately start debating whether they should put a blanket on her now or wait until she's fully committed to unconsciousness.
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An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapter 28: Romans 12:1
Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.
A slow morning turns into a super not slow afternoon. Beatrice's first mission doesn't go as smoothly as everyone had hoped... post mission wine anyone? Everyone's going to need it.
Lilith was annoyed. They had been working together seamlessly to this point. Leave it to Beatrice to choose the moment they were the most vulnerable to muck it up.When Beatrice’s shoulder struck between Lilith’s shoulder blades and sent her stumbling dangerously forward toward a larger woman that clearly wanted Lilith’s head, it took everything in her to not wheel around on her younger partner—shout at her for being so careless.
Lilith took several steps forward, stopping her momentum in time to duck beneath a branch swung so hard it might have removed her head from her shoulders if it had connected. “Watch it!” She admonished as she stepped around, spinning away from her attacker to barely meet Beatrice’s eyes as they flashed wide—a yelp tearing through her and she fell somehow through the forest floor with a crash that should have, in all logic, drowned out her shout. Wooden splinters flew violently up from the ground as Beatrice got lost beneath it.
“Beatrice!” Lilith felt her own stomach drop, and the blood rush from her cheeks as she watched. Her heart was pounding from what had to have been nearly an hour of wrangling a hoard of possessed, but she became acutely aware of it as it rang in her ears now, replacing Beatrice’s cry.
Her only warning was a snap of a twig from a clumsy, careless, step as the woman she’d been fighting lunged at her, tackling her to the ground. Ground that met harshly with her back, and did not, in fact, break away below her—a fear she hadn’t realized she’d had until moments ago watching it happen to Beatrice.
With a forced exhale Lilith rolled with all her might—supernaturally induced strength aside, it didn’t make her assailant any physically heavier—something Lilith found herself thanking God for as their positions switched. Lilith had the upper hand now, at the possessed’s back, her arms making quick practiced work to place them in a choke hold and she fought off claws to her leather protected arms as she rendered the woman unconscious.
It was now back to two against one. Again. Them having taken out Beatrice, her having taken out the woman, and Beatrice the smaller man, as two more rounded on her in a mess of limbs. She needed to deal with these two before she could get to Beatrice—if she could even get to Beatrice. She needed to end this. All the will power in the world wouldn’t sustain her enough if this dragged out— she was losing steam. Quickly now. Like now that she’d started to tire, her energy was all leaving her in a hurry.
Another blow struck her hard in the thigh, nearly buckling Lilith’s leg beneath her as she used her sword to deflect what she’d thought was a branch being swung earlier to realize it was a small tree, uprooted violently like it was nothing more than pulling a weed.
The man pulled back the weapon stolen from the forest to give her a well timed blow, one Lilith was well sure her arms no longer possessed the strength to block, but in doing so, he made a fatal mistake or rather, the wraith had. Just as they nearly all did, relying on their supernatural strength rather made them rather sloppy. The long swing over his head left an opening for Lilith to bury her sword in his chest. It wouldn’t keep the wraith down indefinitely but there would be a short… reboot… period when the man died and the wraith reanimated the body for its needs.
Lilith tightened her grip on the hilt of her sword, and yanked it toward her with her burning arms as she planted the sole of her boot directly against where she’d struck him. She needed her sword if she stood a chance. Relief rushed through her as a balm as it slid a few centimeters toward her before catching again, stuck in the man’s sternum.
She sent a small prayer to her many cousins and aunts that had gone before her as she let the hilt slide from her fingers and fall with the man to the leaf covered forest floor, still buried in his chest: “Be with me.”
The remaining possessed let out a shrieking roar—that same sound that filled her nightmares each night as it lunged for her, hands extended for her neck. Lilith’s mind worked quickly through her options, what techniques were available to her given her current state. She hadn't landed on one yet when her world was knocked sideways with so much force part of her wondered if it hadn't moved on its very axis. White bloomed out the deep green of the forest as it collided with her cheek.
Lilith’s world was dark for only a few seconds before she found herself blinking past the dots in her vision. There was only one thing in this world or any other that could do that.
A Halo Blast.
Lilith pushed herself up to her knees, brushing the damp earth from her palms on her thighs. She risked a wary glance to her side, not quite trusting that whatever Helena had just done had fully worked, but the man who had been attacking her was sitting on his ass in the dirt blinking more confused than she’d really seen a person as he looked at his hands, then to the side to the body Lilith's sword was still in, before finally making eye contact with her, horror and apology in his eyes before her got up and sprinted into the forest.
Lilith sighed as she watched him go. Really, she should go after him. The halo blast had taken care of the wraith for now but he was still likely a bit of a danger to himself. She just wanted nothing more than to take a second to collect herself, let the burning in her aching limbs dissipate before she went on another run. She was at least a few hundred meeters away from the abandoned chapel with the other sisters. No one else was near her, so Lilith mentally prepared herself to make the chase on her own, when a voice cracked through her ear—
“Anyone hurt? Lilith? Beatrice?” Shannon asked through a heavy breath as she helped Mary to her feet. Shannon glanced around, relieved after seeing Aitana giving her thumbs up as she stood as well. Helena waved her off as she moved forward helping one of the former possessed.
Shannon hadn’t seen Beatrice and Lilith for several minutes, and in a fight, several minutes might as well have been several hours. And with what happened last time, she needed confirmation they were okay. Both of them. Right now.
“I’m good,” Mary brushed her hands down the front of her shirt releasing a small cloud of dust from the tops of her thighs. She wasn’t that dirty, it more just helped to check herself over for any injury and aside from being on her ass two seconds ago, she was fine. Not that the way Shanon’s hazel eyes were tracking her every motion gave any indication that she believed a word of Mary’s assurance. “Shannon. I’m fine.” Mary reached out and gave Shannon’s arm a gentle squeeze just below her elbow. “Promise.”
“I am okay,” Another wave of relief rushed through Shannon when she heard Lilith’s voice through her ear piece.
Lilith swung a leg up from where she’d been on her knees. She pressed her toe into the ground below her hinging upright a little slowly as she stood. She had the passing thought to quit being so dramatic and to get to her feet quicker, but Lilith’s muscles protested at the thought. The fight had not been an easy one. That was for sure. At least, aside from some scrapes on the palms of her hands she seemed otherwise unharmed.
She scanned the area for any lingering signs of danger as she tried to tune out Mary and Shannon’s assurances to each other. She was happy for once to not be in direct eyesight of it. If their gentle tones were anything to go by, they were likely being entirely too touchy-feely for her taste.
It wasn’t the cleanliest method in the world, but Lilith spit into her palm, smoothing the muddied dirt away from the worst of the scrape so she could see it clearer—just to be sure it wasn’t more than that. She was relieved to find out it wasn’t before she wiped it off on the tunic of her battle habit.
Things were fine, but something in the recesses of her awareness was shouting that the calm didn’t make sense. Everything seemed to be moving a little slower than normal as things settled. Something was off. Missing. She was forgetting something.
Beatrice—“Beatrice?” Lilith seemed to have the thought at the same time as Shannon called for her through their coms, voice holding more than an edge of worry. “Lilith, do you have eyes on her?”
“Not yet.” Lilith gritted out as she wiped dirt off her cheek, spinning on her foot as her eyes searched for that space Beatrice had occupied what felt like moments ago
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But also it’s kind of rude to assign gender roles and sexual preferences to someone just because they’re masc. just because she wears a snapback that doesn’t mean she’s a top or able to fix your car or whatever.
What helped me write trauma better is remembering that the nervous system learns predictions. If danger used to come after quiet, calm can feel threatening. If kindness used to come with a price, kindness can feel suspicious. So healing is not just “they know they’re safe now.” Healing is the slow, annoying, deeply unfair process of teaching the body that the old prediction is not always the present truth.
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