Noodling Doodling

Runi grows older, the dog grows older.

And the life of a touring pop star really isn't the best life to give to an aging dog so Rumi decides that it's really for the best if the dog stays with Celine on Jeju, where it's quieter and slower.

(The dog misses Rumi very much)

And what no one tells Rumi, what Rumi has to learn from getting older, is that the years pass quick. And they pass especially quick when one is an artist busy with tours and interviews and marketing and slaying demons.

("When did his muzzle go gray?" She asks, one Chuseok, on one of the precious few days she's able to make it to Jeju.

"Oh, it's been getting that way for a while," Celine says, pushing up her new reading glasses. "We're both senior citizens now.")

(And Rumi had rolled her eyes because Celine wasn't even fifty yet.)

By the time the Idol Awards came around again and Rumi's secret was revealed, she hadn't been back to Jeju for... a while. Her patterns were spreading and she could feel her time running out.

When Rumi arrives on Jeju, she arrives at the hanok first.

And the dog, waiting at the front door (where it had been waiting a long time), raises its head, recognizing Rumi's scent.

Rumi, not wanting to greet her dog like this, shooes it away. Promising that she would be back and walks up the steps to the tree and Celine.

Rumi doesn't notice the body as she rushes back through the door. Really, Celine doesn't blame her. At a glance it looks like the dog is just deep in the midst of a peaceful sleep, and that is all Rumi had the time and mental energy for, a glance.

Something too brief to see how his sides don't rise, or fall.

Something too fleeting to notice how stillness lay atop him like a shroud.

Something too distracted to witness what Celine could see the moment her eyes rested on the muzzle gone gray.

He is gone, and has taken another tie to Rumi's childhood with him.

For a moment she crouches alongside the body, fur cooling beneath her palm, silently thanking the dog for the hours of quiet companionship that made her nest feel a little less empty, the nights she breathed a little easier while on a Hunt knowing Jindo was watching over Rumi, and the smiles he put on her little girl's face.

He was a good dog.

Her next thought is for Rumi; of course it is.

She's still on Jeju; it's barely been half an hour since she left; she only needs to call and the car will be crunching back over the gravel so Rumi can run up the walk and bury one last round of tears in the salt-and-pepper fur.

And Celine considers it; has Rumi's contact on her phone screen, has her thumb hovering over the 'call' button.

But she doesn't.

"They're getting worse!" Rumi had all but wailed when she burst upon the tree, distraught. Celine had no response beyond staring, hand trapping a gasp, at the sight of the patterns- those damn patterns- clawing across more of her daughter's Rumi's skin than ever before. Snaking under the straps of her bra, snarling down her arms, and scrabbling, voracious, at her neck, demonic claws reaching for her voice.

Like Gwi-Ma was trying to claim her.

Celine stayed calm, did what she always did (all she knew how to do)- repeated again the promise of salvation by the Golden Honmoon, repeated again the importance of keeping faults and fears where they belonged- as she gently prised Rumi's shirt from her fist and slid in back on, slipped her own cardigan from her back to Rumi's, and reminded her of just how important the Idol Awards were (more than ever now). Never once betraying her own fears, modeling what Rumi needed to succeed in this.

She had left…still upset, but with a resolute air and laser focus Celine knew as the heralds of triumph.

Rumi needed strength, not to hear her dog was dead. Or to be burdened with grief.

It just...made everything harder.

Celine knew.

She buried the dog in a spot Rumi would have picked, under a plum tree where girl and dog had wiled away many golden girlhood hours. Wrapped him in the blanket he'd had since a pup. Done everything Rumi would have wanted.

It is better this way, she tells herself as she shovels the last of the dirt. Rumi needs to turn the Honmoon gold, she can’t afford to fail, her humanity depends on it.

Never mind the guilt pushing at her, this is the right choice. The only choice.

Besides, this will be easier for everyone.

—-

“Hey, Celine? I can’t find Jindo.”

(And Celine watches the sun break in the east and strokes the dog's fur and when the world doesn't end and the honmoon reappears, she calls Rumi, though she has no idea what to say)

(And she calls and calls and Rumi isn't picking up)

(And she leaves voicemails. Half congratulations, half telling Rumi to call because there's something important she needs to be told)

(And when Rumi doesn't call back, Celine leaves another voicemail telling her that the dog is dead and what does she want Celine to do with -- her voice breaks on 'the body')

(Rumi doesn't call and)

(Celine wraps the body up in his favorite blanket and sets his body in an unused corner of the cellar. It's cool down there and the body will keep longer than if it were out in the open)

Soo-ho rushes over to Celine's apartment the moment he feels dread in the honmoon. When he enters her apartment, it was pitch black except the bathroom. He runs towards the bathroom and the door is slightly ajar. Privacy be damned, he opens the door to be greeted with a sight he knows he will remember for the rest of his eternal life.

Celine who lies bloody against the bathtub, dry tear tracks on her cheek, eyes closed. On her right hand, a single bloody razor. Her left wrist marred with cuts of various length and size. There were bottles littering the floor, some shattered.

Soo-ho rushes in and picks Celine up, ignoring her weak protest to leave her to die. He gently places her on the sofa and gets the first aid kit he had stashed in the kitchen cabinet. He quietly cleans and bandages Celine's wrists. He hopes the honmoon can heal the rest. Celine tries to fight back, spewing vitriol and eventually begging Soo-ho to leave her alone (Please don't leave her alone.)

Soo-hoo anger fades when he sees how small Celine had made herself. Taking a deep breath, he begs Celine to not die. There's so much for her to do and it doesn't have to do anything with Miyeong and Min-ji. She could so something more, for herself and maybe for the people. He talks about Rumi and how happy she was when she got the teddy bear Celine gifted her in secret. Nibbling and gurgling happily when she has the teddy bear. How it helps her sleep at night. The small things Celine had done to help, making the life people she interacts with brighter. Whether she knows it or not.

"Who knows," Soo-ho looks at Celine with a hopeful smile, "You might even change a kid's life for the better." Soo-ho heaves a sigh, "Just... Promise me. Please. Don't go."

Celine who has been quiet the whole time. She expected for Soo-ho to yell and scream at her for doing something stupid. But instead, she gets this and she doesn't know how to react to it. Celine doesn't look at his face. "I will not make a promise I can't keep." Celine interjects Soo-ho, "But. I can promise I will try my best to stay." Celine finally looks at Soo-ho with a tired and grieving look, "That's all you can have from me."

Soo-ho nods. Celine turns away and covers her face with her bandaged arm, no words are spoken.

Sensing that Celine isn't in the mood to talk more, Soo-ho quietly gets up and cleans the bloody bathroom. Thanking the honmoon that he manages to get here in time. He shudders what would have happen should he arrives too late.