it’s 1973, almost dinner time, i’m havin hoops

vampires are so full of shit. "oh the human race is beneath us, you're just livestock to us" I don't think you know what livestock is. do you feed us? care for us? protect us from predators? no. you just slink around dark alleys and ambush people. that's not what a higher being does. that's a bottom feeder. a parasite. karate punches your head off

She Would Say That. She would DO that.

okay everyone listen up!! 👏👏 new plan! basically what we’re gonna do is: dance 🕺

Remember in 2010 when Taio Cruz said "I throw my hands up in the air sometimes"? I appreciated his restraint. You can't just throw your hands up in the air whenever. There's a time and a place, and that time was 2010, and the place was the club.

count dracula? uhhh ok. one

🧛 nathing vrong vith me

As an adult I think me and all my friends should all have matching schedules and work like 20 hours a week and also everyone lives within 15 minutes of each other why is that so much to ask

Sitcoms lied to us and we should be compensated.

when I was like 14 I used to reblog these posts on here that were like "YOUR 20S ARE NOT AN IMAGINARY RACE YOURE DOING JUST FINE!!" just to be positive towards my older mutuals even though i didn't really get what they were abour and I'd be in the tags like "#so true!! #everyone does things at their own pace!!" and now im 24 I'm thinking back to it and it's like Oh of course the imaginary race. Which I'm losing

djs should face constant threat of elimination when they’re dj’ing. they should be standing on a trapdoor and everyone in the audience should get a little clicker with a button and if enough people press the button the trapdoor opens sending the dj tumbling into a purgatorial abyss. no more tyranny of the dj. let the people have a say

We were supposed to have the Community movie by now...

gay men brought back 70s mustaches, lesbians brought back 80s mullets, and now straight dudes are just walking around with both thinking they stumbled onto this styling choice by accident. say the line meryl (cerulean sweater monologue but specifically about how gay culture creates taste)

looks like october is…. octover

i’m queueing this for next year

Its nowvember

I like saying "I'll allow it" only in contexts where I have no power or authority