AESTHELLAR

i was in the library and the lights went out and i whispered “dark academia” and only one person laughed but ive been having a bad enough week that it felt like a win so cheers

mice are having sex in my walls :(

never thought i'd get accused of faking having a mice infestation for tumblr clout and yet here we are

you fucked those mice yourself

I fucked those mice myself

Babe, ever since I met you, your power level has been over 9000. With you, I know the cake won't be a lie. Together we can rule the galaxy, and all their base will belong to us. I can haz marriage?

OP I am going to break into your house and unleash a horde of locusts in your closet if you don’t stop

wouldn't even notice with the type of shit i got goin on

why does his ass have a boner

It’s a new and more exciting kind of bowling

stop saying youre investing in posts. i dont make my jokes for any kind of economy. banker-like behaviour of you

nurturing this post while it's young

supporting and cherishing this post in its infancy.

IT

FUCKEN

WIMDY

tetanus fact: it's an old wives' tale that tetanus is caused by rusty metal. it's actually caused by puncture wounds substantially deeper than they are wide, which introduce ubiquitous anaerobic spores (i.e. the "seeds" of single-celled organisms which cannot grow if exposed to oxygen) into a warm, poorly-oxygenated space in the body. so receiving shallow cuts from a rusty knife is not likely to give you tetanus but puncture wounds from clean but non-sterile objects can. this is great news if you like receiving superficial wounds from rusty knives and blades and swords all over your dumbass body

Stop calling them superficial. All my wounds are passionate and meaningful

i think you people put too much pressure on what is or isnt a date like a date is literally just being together with the person you want to be with

"you people need better standards" i would consider a dude teaching me how to play dnd a date if i liked him enough