Imagine movie Deadpool and movie Venom in a fight. And it ends like:
Venom locks Wade in an unbreakable pin, and says, “Any last words before we swallow you whole?”
Hearing this, Wade blushes and blurts out, “Um, wow! You know what? You’re irresistibly sexy yourself! Tall, dark and handsome… Oh my, this is all very arousing…! Do what you want to me, big guy.”
Venom appears stunned for a moment. “Wha- AS IF WE W- DON’T YOU-“
The hulking monster swiftly regains composure, then lets out a loud screech, “WE! ARE HAPPILY MARRIED!”
Wade can feel the monster’s saliva raining down on him and seeping through his mask. However, before he can feel the sharp fangs sinking into his skull-
“No we’re not!” A very muffled but audible voice protests.
Wade, still pinned against the wall (or floor), is puzzled, but quickly realizes what is going on.
“YES WE ARE! I’VE BEEN IN YOUR HEAD AND I KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS! YOU LOVE ME AS MUCH AS YOU LOVE US BEING ONE!”
“Don’t say that out loud! You’re embarrassing me!” Eddie continues to protest as Venom backs away, holding their own head as if suffering from a migraine.
“WE DO EVERYTHING TOGETHER, WE CUDDLE AND HOLD HANDS AT NIGHT, AND YOU FIND THIS EMBARRASSING? Pussy.”
At this point, Wade’s presence is completely forgotten by his enemy. He gets up and watches on as an annoyed Venom bickers with its flustered host.
Letting out a small, dreamy sigh, he says to himself, “Oh my gosh, they’re so cute together.”
stormborns
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