A soft mama

🎀The past few months had been pretty hard, especially for little one.

Lots of doctors appointments led to many teary nights spent in her mama's arms. Mama had felt so sorry for her baby but there wasn't much she could do apart from being there for her, but now that they had a name for little one's condition they could do something about it, and it would have to start by changing their eating habits, but that was something that was very hard for little one to understand and had led to many tantrums lately. Today before they both left for work little one had a major meltdown because she couldn't have her favourite yogurt for breakfast, she even asked mama, how come a few days ago she was allowed now she isn't. So little one had left for work with a pout on her face. It was now afternoon and they were at the grocery store.

"Can you remember what we need to get sweetheart?" Little one looked at mama and nodded shyly "we..  we need fruits mama?" Mama smiled with a nod "that's right baby, which fruit would you like?" Babygirl had a look and pointed at her favourite "strawberries peaseee mama" unfortunately strawberries was one of the fruits she wasn't allowed anymore "we can't have strawberries darling, but we can get the blueberries instead, how does that sound?" Little one leaned into mama and whined "but why mama?" Mama rubbed her baby's back "remember  your tummy ouchies?"

Little one nodded with a pout "not like them mama" mama matches little ones pout "mama didn't like that you had ouchies either, but now we know why dont we sweetheart?" Babygirl nodded chewing on her sleeve "doctor found out" mama gently took the fabric out of her baby's mouth "that's right baby and the doctor said to keep the ouchies away we can't have certain foods, sweetheart" Little one pointed at the blueberries "berries peaseee" mama picked a pack and let little one pop them in the basket "good choice baby" the rest of the shopping was very similar, little one pointed out her favourite foods and mama gave her a different option to pick from, so far so good, but now they were standing in the sweet aisle an aisle mama tried to avoid but failed, little one was now hugging a pack of chocolate buttons "but I like them mama, peaseeee" mama sighed "baby you can't have them sweetheart" babygirl pouted "ouchies?" Babygirl asked looking up at her mama "yes baby, that will give you ouchies" a whimpered escaped baby's lips "they are my favourite mama"  mama kissed babygirl's forehead "what about we find you a new favourite?" That made little one smile

🎀 The cramps had started before breakfast. By lunchtime, Babygirl was curled up on the couch beneath three blankets, wearing the deepest frown Mama had seen all week.

"I don't wanna," she grumbled for what felt like the hundredth time. Mama hid a smile as she walked into the living room carrying a heating pad. "You don't wanna what, sweetheart?"

"Anything."

"Ah," Mama said thoughtfully. "One of those days."

Babygirl huffed and crossed her arms. Her time of the month always made everything feel bigger, every ache, every frustration, every tiny inconvenience. Even the tag on her shirt had become a personal enemy.

Mama sat beside her and gently draped the heating pad across her tummy.

"There, baby."

"It still hurts."

"I know, bubba."

"And I'm grumpy."

"I know that too, sweetheart"

"And I cried because my toast broke."

Mama nodded solemnly.

"It was a very sad toast."

That finally earned a tiny smile.

Mama brushed a few strands of hair away from Babygirl's face. "How about we make today as easy as possible?"

Babygirl shrugged.

A little while later, Mama returned with a basket.

Inside were all of Babygirl's favourite comfort items.

Her blankie and paci. Her well-loved bunbun. A colouring book. Her favourite baba.

And her favourite nappies, the extra-padded ones with all the stars, that always made her feel cozy and cared for when she wasn't feeling well.

Babygirl immediately hugged bunbun to her chest.

"Mama..."

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"You remembered everything."

"Of course I did, baby"

The grumpiness softened just a little.

Mama helped her get settled comfortably, then tucked blankets around her until only her nose peeked out.

"Comfy?"

"Mhm."

"Warm?"

"Mhm."

"Still grumpy?"

"A little."

Mama laughed quietly.

The afternoon passed slowly.

They coloured together.

They watched cartoons.

Sometimes Bubba talked nonstop about random things, and sometimes she just sat quietly with her bunbun while Mama rubbed gentle circles on her back.

Whenever the cramps got bad, Mama would rub her tummy.

Whenever Babygirl got emotional, Mama would simply hold her hand.

No teasing.

No judgment.

Just patience.

As evening arrived, the storm inside Babygirl seemed to calm.

She lay with her head resting against Mama's shoulder, eyes heavy with sleep.

"Sorry I was grouchy today, mama" she mumbled.

Mama kissed the top of her head.

"You don't have to apologize for having a hard day, bubba"

Babygirl blinked sleepily.

"Really?"

"Really, sweetheart"

For a moment, neither of them spoke.

The room was quiet except for the soft sound of the tv and the occasional rustle of blankets.

"Mama?"

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"Thank you for taking care of me."

Mama smiled. "Always, baby"

Babygirl snuggled deeper into her blankets, bunbun tucked under one arm and all her favourite comfort things close by.

The cramps hadn't disappeared completely. Neither had the exhaustion. But wrapped in warmth, patience, and care, everything felt a little easier.

🎀 “Mamaaaa…”

The tiny whine came from bubba who was currently laying on her playmat, before Mama even looked up from folding laundry.

“Yes, babygirl?” she answered softly.

Little one peeked over the top of her bunbun, paci wobbling between pouty lips. “Can we get a pet otter?”

Mama smiled immediately because this had apparently become today’s very important subject.

“A pet otter, hm?”

“Mhm.” She nodded seriously. “A tiny one. I’d feed him fishies.”

Mama walked over and booped her nose. “Baby, otters belong in the water and with other otters.”

“But I’d love him,” she insisted, clutching her stuffed bunny dramatically. “I’d share my blankie.”

“That’s very generous.”

“And my snacks.”

Mama laughed quietly. “You really thought this through.”

Little one huffed into bunbun. Her paci squeaked when she grumbled around it. “I just want one sooo bad, mama.”

Mama leaned down to kiss her forehead. “Well, wanting things is okay.”

Five minutes later, while Mama was putting dishes away

“Mama?”

“Yes, sweetpea?”

“What if the otter slept in my room with me?”

Mama turned slowly, trying not to smile too hard. “baby you don't even sleep in your room, do you?”

“But what if he wore tiny pajamas?”

“Oh, now you’re just trying to emotionally manipulate me.”

Bubba giggled loudly at that, kicking her socked feet against the playmat.

By lunchtime, the subject had somehow become even more urgent.

Mama set down a sandwich cut into small triangles and apple slices in front of her little girl, who was colouring a picture very intensely.

“Whatcha drawing?”

“Our family.”

Mama looked closer.

There was Mama.

There was babygirl.

And there was a long potato-shaped creature floating in blue crayon water.

Mama raised an eyebrow. “Interesting.”

“That’s Otterly,” little one explained proudly.

“Otterly?”

“Our otter.”

“Our imaginary otter?”

Bubba gasped like Mama had offended him personally. “He’s REAL in my HEART.”

Mama nearly lost composure right there.

“Oh my goodness.”

Little one shoved another bite of sandwich into her mouth and spoke around it. “Otterly likes bedtime stories.”

“I’m sure he does.”

“And cuddles.”

“Mmhm.”

“And nappies.”

Mama blinked.

“Otters do not wear nappies.”

“They SHOULD.”

Mama snorted into her water.

Later that afternoon, after a long walk and far too many negotiations about ice cream, Mama noticed the unmistakable tiny wiggle.

“Do you need a nappy check?”

“Noooo…”

“Bubba...”

A guilty pause.

“…maybe, mama”

Mama guided her toward the nursery with a knowing smile. The room smelled faintly of lavender and clean blankets, soft afternoon sunlight spilling across the changing table.

Little one climbed up dramatically, still holding her paci between her lips.

“I’m too little to survive this,” she mumbled.

Mama laughed softly. “Such tragedy, babygirl”

The nappy tabs opened with familiar little crinkles while babygirl squirmed and complained.

“Cold hands, Mamaaa.”

“Sorry sweetheart.”

Mama cleaned her up carefully, rubbing soothing circles over her tummy when she got wiggly. Little one sucked lazily on her paci, sleepy from lunch and attention.

“There we go, princess,” Mama murmured, fastening a fresh nappy snug around her hips. “Much better.”

Little one peeked down at it. “Can otters wear pink nappies?”

Mama kissed her nose. “We are still not getting an otter.”

“Otterly would like this diaper.”

“I’m sure imaginary Otterly would be thrilled.”

By evening, bubba had become increasingly clingy in the soft, sleepy way she always did after dinner.

She followed Mama from room to room dragging her blanket behind her.

“Mama?”

“Yes, my little love?”

“If we had an otter…”

Mama laughed already. “Still going?”

“He could have bath time with me.”

Mama patted the spot next to her and bubba sat down “You know what I think?”

“What mummy?”

“I think somebody just really likes cute cuddly things.”

Little one buried her face against Mama’s shoulder. “Maybe.”

“And maybe somebody wants a little extra attention today.” A tiny embarrassed nod. Mama’s expression softened immediately.

“Oh, baby.”

Mama opened her arms and Little one curled close, paci bobbing sleepily while Mama stroked her hair.

“You know you can just ask for cuddles, right baby?”

“I know mummy” she whispered.

“You never have to earn them.”

Little one melted further into Mama’s chest.

After a few quiet moments, Mama felt tiny fingers tug at her.

“Mama?”

“Yes, babygirl?”

“…can we at least visit otters someday?”

Mama smiled and kissed the top of her head.

“That,” she whispered, “we can absolutely do.”

When you meet your person, the one who makes you feel so safe and loved you just know. And that’s excatly how it feels with mama since the day I met her.

Me and mama met over a year ago and it’s been one of the best years of my life. There is just something that makes you feel so whole when you find someone that smooths out your sharpest edges. That gives you the love and care you always wanted but never got nor thought you deserved.

I never planned for mama or to fully embrace my little side but now I can’t imagine my life without her. She’s my mama, my bestest friend and my person and I can’t even put into words the gratitude and love I have for her.

Here’s to more years mama, and I’m excited for all the mama and bubba adventures we are going to have.

Me and mamas is all about the softness and sweet side of our dynamic but I’ve been thinking about all the little things she does to make me feel loved, that she might not even know herself 🥺 so I thought I’d do a little list of some of them:

Every time mama calls me by my nickname, it just reminds me how special we are to each other.

When mama gives me a hug and kisses my head after every nappy change, she knows I don’t like them so she always makes sure I’m comforted after.

Every time she checks on me, just making sure I’m okay, if I need help with whatever I’m doing or playing with or to just make sure I’m okay. Nothing makes me feel more loved when she snuggles close, smooths my hair back and is just being so gentle to remind me she’s here for anything 🥺

When she matches my silly, even if it’s just playing peek-a-boo or tickling me, it always makes me feel loved that she can just let go with me.

Helping with the little things, if that’s brushing my hair, helping me with my shoes, helping me eat when I get distracted at meal times and always making me not feel silly for needing help from her sometimes 🥺

Every time she lets me nurse, no matter what she’s doing she will always sit down and make time for it when I ask. It just makes me feel so close to her, especially when she runs her finger along my nose and holds me tight. It’s like she’s physically wrapping all her love around me.