evie^^

assassin’s apprentice is crazy fitz is like eight and he’s running around the castle eating dog food and getting drunk his dead gay dad’s alive gay best friend is a functional alcoholic who hates him he has play dates with patience who sits there and says you’re mommy’s special idiot fitz you’re mommy’s special little fucking idiot and then he hangs out with his bastard granduncle (?) who lives in the walls and is doing night assassin school because of a verbal contract fitz made with the king who is also his grandfather that is for some reason legally binding even though fitz was roughly six and hiding under a table at the time and he lives his entire life getting beat to shit by his betters and then having to live in the same castle as them forever and if heeee says anything he’s a trifling little nobody whore. regal tries to murder this fourteen year old and everyone’s like fitz why can’t you just get along with your uncle 🙄 when now he has EPILEPSY and it’s the uncles’ FAULT and he’s staging a COUP and nobody GIVES a shit. and the FOOL is there.

oh my god