mustn't let a little thing like 'little' stop you

me if i was lobsta 🦞 monday

functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I

has a duck ever landed in the spot i’m standing

when i die and come back wrong i will be able to tell you the flight trajectory of every waterfowl in history

i ca;nt bleiev clowns r real.;;; wha tthe fuck….

DID YOU JUST DISCOVER MIRRORS?

SHUT UP!!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ur girlfriend/boyfriend should NOT be ur first priority... ur first priority should ALWAYS be me, ur tumblr mutual

i have so many fragmented thoughts about blade runner 2049. questions. musings. i can't stop thinking about that scene of k and joi in the rain. she says "i'm so happy when i'm with you" and he replies "you don't have to say that." he buys an ai girlfriend who can be Whatever You Want Her To Be! and he just gets the store model. doesn't bother to change her appearance. she's just a thing, but he's also just a thing. he doesn't like real girls. he doesn't want to be human. not until he thinks he really might be. "to be born is to have a soul" he says, meaning he doesn't think he has a soul, and he doesn't think joi has one either, and he's fine with that. he puts her in an emanator so she can go wherever she wants. that's what he says. not "you can always be with me" (she is artificial intelligence programmed to be into him!!!) but "you can go anywhere you want". he can't set her free but he can give her the illusion of freedom, which is the same thing he has. an object masquerading as a person. "i'm so happy when i'm with you" says the computer program. "you don't have to say that" says the soulless replicant because he knows she can't feel happy, he knows she's programmed to say that, he didn't change any of her settings, it wasn't about that. he didn't buy a lover. didn't even buy a friend. just bought a program pretending to be a person. and then gave her the chance to experience the world like a person does. she isn't one. neither is he. but that's the point.

we’re so lucky that gilgamesh survived and is a banger. can you imagine if we found the oldest written human story ever recorded and it sucked balls.

thank god some sumerian editor wasn't all "gay shit doesn't sell"

*coughs blood* youre all just jealous of my wound. yuore trying to make me get rid of it because you wish you had a wound this cool

Starting to realize the “starving artist” stereotype was designed to convey how erratic the lifestyle is and not to claim they were actually poor