POWER.

        why the young man was so persistent with her, jocelyn would never know. she wasn’t the easiest person to converse with but he did it regardless of whether she wanted his company or not. there was something rather ENDEARING about him but she couldn’t quite place what it was about him. as young as he was, beck was right; she couldn’t do work like this and any mistakes would cost her a lot with the network executives who already had a disliking of her. she was a successful woman in this industry, she was bound to have some enemies but the problem was that she was never supported by them. despite being at zenith for decades, the woman was still trying to prove herself and it was tiring. deep down, joss knew that she needed to stop getting so drink but she lacked self control. “don’t push it, beck.” offering a smile to him, she placed her hand on this shoulder at nodded.

        jocelyn was too out of it to comprehend her situation and the situation she had forced him into. it wasn’t RIGHT to throw herself at the other; she was a successful woman so why did she feel the need to do it? sex was seen as some sort of unhealthy validation, that she was desirable and she got to decide who could have her. lately, her decisions had been very questionable and indeed inappropriate, it was a lawsuit just WAITING to happen. the woman was on a downwards spiral but couldn’t admit it to herself. at some point, she would be on thin ice with the network executives and she knew that they weren’t prone to showing her any mercy. although she wasn’t a pleasant individual, she got the work done and brought them in a lot of money; they wouldn’t think twice about booting her out if that wasn’t the case. they never had been invested in her, probably because of the rumors of her when she joined zenith. oh, if they only knew the truth. damaged was an understatement to describe jocelyn adelstein; no one could put her in a box. gripping onto eliot, she nodded. “make sure you take the alcohol, didn’t waste my cash on that for nothing.” drunkenly mumbling while looking at the floor, she demonstrated that she wasn’t in a position of clarity and had rather skewed priorities when it came to her safety. surely the woman would be embarrassed with her behaviour in the morning. frowning as she started to feel nauseous, jocelyn nodded. was she going to throw up? it did happen but not nearly enough as it should have done in order to clear her system. “i’m fine.” lie after lie, she was unable to get herself out of this one.

                why was she acting this way? jocelyn had been repressing her true feelings for years but it wasn’t like she KNEW what she was avoiding or what was so wrong with her that she had become this ambitious, rude woman that didn’t care for anyone else. she had it all and seemed to be throwing it all away. yes, the executive producer had used sally and hung her out to dry as soon as things got too serious for her, it was difficult to see her thriving while she seemed to be spiralling. maybe she had loved sally but the other woman wasn’t going to come back to her, ever. “it’s about time, kid.” nodding, joss placed her hand on his shoulder before repeating the action. “i’m almost proud but it came too late.” all she did was put others down to make herself feel better and it worked for a short period of time but always felt unfulfilled. she wasn’t pleasant, she knew it and did NOTHING to change. “real work. adult work where i have to use my brain. everything costs, believe it or not. my job is important, that’s all you need to know.”

      jocelyn wasn’t expecting such a quick answer from the younger woman. she hoped that it had the impact that she needed to get to the younger woman but she couldn’t be so certain. the fling hadn’t meant anything, it was just for the sex but that seemed to be a common occurrence nowadays and the executive producer was worried that she was no longer able to make that connection with people. whenever someone got too close to her, joss pushed them away to stop herself from getting hurt in the process. however, she was now reaching fifty and realising that it had been a big mistake, too late. it was the mention of the rankings that made her blood boil. pushing her lips together, the woman shook her head. “i didn’t get anything out of it, emery. i got here without him.” it was a sensitive subject, that was clear when the woman’s eyes began to water. biting down on her lip, jocelyn was determined not to cry. after being put in a horrible situation by an executive producer years ago, she had tried to run from it and wasn’t ready to face up to what had actually happened. “or maybe the man just needed to control his desires but it’s true that he couldn’t keep his hands off me.” she was sinking lower and lower but she felt like she had to prove herself to emery; she wasn’t someone that could just be thrown away and never heard from again. jocelyn couldn’t help but become involved with others and it always ended in disaster; she was well aware that it was her doing. “too bad he didn’t teach you any goddamn respect! throwing alcohol at me? bad move. i thought you were smarter.”

      “i’ve been in this business a long time so take it from someone who is harassed by many on behalf of cameos, it’s not going to happen.” jocelyn was always abrasive but her speech didn’t have the same effect when it was slower than usual. she was only a small woman and as she got older, she needed to respect her body and slow down on WHATEVER this was. downing the rest of her drink, the executive producer raised her eyebrows towards him. “i always knew you liked to be in charge. you know, i am looking for a new assistant so if you do choose to leave the narcissistic life of acting, do let me know.” rolling her eyes, the woman placed the glass down before standing up. “fine. i’ll catch up tomorrow.” it was probably for the best; the last thing she needed was to mess up figures and feed the wrong information back to the executives of zenith productions. if that happened, she was a dead woman walking.

         rolling her eyes as kingston entered her office, she took another sip of her drink. great, this was all she needed. his mother wasn’t one to be messed with but she did have respect for her as her had made quite the name for herself in the industry. still, that didn’t stop her from being slightly jealous of her creativity. “i didn’t order any coffee, kid.” putting her glass down on the table, she leaned forward. “did you have anything else to say or was that it? despite what management says, i am very busy.” perhaps that had been a little too far for her to go, especially with who his parents were. 

        jocelyn was a woman that had MADE it in an industry that was so against her yet she seemed to be throwing it all away. she had wanted more for herself but the network executives had taken a distaste to her and this behaviour was preventing them from coming to the unanimous decision to give her a promotion. in a way, the executive producer was LUCKY that it had been eliot and not someone who was going to make a complaint against her or bring it to the attention to the higher powers at zenith. she was a MESS, that was evident but as soon as she had a drink, she seemed to get too carried away and could no longer control herself. the current spectacle was incredibly embarrassing but the loud music was enough to cover it up. rejection was bitter but joss knew she deserved it; it wasn’t fair on ANYONE to be caught up in her drunken antics and it needed to stop. although her work wasn’t suffering yet, she DID have issues to address. instead of addressing her own, she often ridiculed those around her for an escape; her relationship with sally was a prime example of this. the other had seen who she was, WHAT she was and joss didn’t like that. her palms pressed onto the sticky floor, the woman shook her head. the rejection had been embarrassing enough but now he was willing to help her by extending his hand. being as stubborn as she was, jocelyn deflected her gaze back to the floor and shuffled slightly as she prepared to stand up. “i got it.” it took her a few moments to get herself back on her feet by herself but she managed it; her determination could never be sniped by alcohol. however, within a few seconds the woman was grabbing onto his forearm to steady herself. a chuckle escaped her in an attempt to cover up her true emotions. getting this drunk wasn’t healthy nor was it fun but she wasn’t ready to admit that she had taken it too far... “sitting down feels like a good idea.”

       the attack on her age came as no surprise to the woman; the men in the industry were so quick to single her out, to underestimate her simply because she was nearly fifty. things were different for the white men of the industry who grew fatter living off their corporate shark diet whilst she did all of the real work. at this point, jocelyn was glad that she was intoxicated because she would have got a lot more riled up if she wasn’t. emery had a lot of anger towards her, that was understandable but the young woman needed to know how to pick her battles and when to sound her battle cry; this was not one of those instances. what came next was a SHOCK. seeing the sudden movement that shook the glass, jocelyn shut her eyes before the alcohol met her face. the embarrassment quickly subsided when her blood started to boil. how DARE emery pull a stunt like this, an attempt to embarrass her. while she did feel pathetic, the woman wasn’t about to let the other go unscathed. wiping the liquid off from underneath her eyes, jocelyn stood up, with a slight wobble as she felt the alcohol hit her head, that what she had consumed. leaning back, the exec was sure to make sure that her voice was a whisper. “your father isn’t that great in bed, anyway.” of course, that wasn’t exactly true but it was a snide remark that was sure to ruffle some feathers.

            jocelyn’s reaction time was not quick enough to counteract the other’s movement, thus the other took the glass from her with ease. this was proof that the drinking was getting too much when EMERY of all people was stepping in. the redhead seemed to avoid the woman like the plague and she had good reason to after jocelyn’s history with her father. “excuse me, you didn’t pay for that.” after raising her eyebrows the woman couldn’t help but roll her eyes. deep down, the exec KNEW that it was sad; she had issues to address and it seemed she had taken to self-sabotage instead. “i don’t think YOU have any right to talk to me like that, emory. god, you sound JUST like your father.” that little affair had been fine for a while but it soon ran flat, just like everything else in her life. jocelyn knew that she was making things difficult but she didn’t seem to care. “you do thirty years in this industry any get back to me. now, be a good little bitch and give me my drink back.” there was no respect from the older woman.

       “you’re getting into sports now? it’s really a fact that no one seems to do shit and then everyone questions why i’m a hard ass. still, i go underappreciated by the network execs. why is this?” her behaviour was starting to become unacceptable and they could only turn a blind eye for so long. it was unprofessional for the woman to be ranting to the young cast member while intoxicated on set. “at least you said it and i didn’t.” raising her eyebrows, the woman chuckled. “call me an uber? are we young women out on a night out in the city? no, i have work to do.” the quality was going to fail if she attempted to do anything like this. “nice thought, though. wish my assistant took enough interest.” although the young male did irritate her beyond belief, there was something she quite liked about him. in what way she liked him, she wasn’t entirely sure.

jocelyn: i had you down for being more adaptable.

      jocelyn knew that she needed to be more careful when it came to her behaviour but she couldn’t stop herself. finding herself sitting down with vodka touching her lips, the executive producer shook her head and her eyes met a passerby. “i’m surrounded by absolute IDIOTS.” as rude as she usually was, the woman seemed to reach a new height of INTOLERANCE for colleagues today. “is there anyone competent around these parts or must i do everything myself?” she wasn’t giving off the impression that she could do her job effectively in this state and management was slowly beginning to become concerned about her behaviour. “they’re breathing down MY neck? the sons of BITCHES !! i’m one of the only people that gets shit done around here.”

      “do i look like i have the time for meaningless exchanges? SOMEONE has to do the work around here.”