youngblood

ROSCOE: you looked sad so i brought ice cream to your trailer

ROSCOE: you weren't there though so i ate it

ROSCOE: anyway where are you?

BECK: ...i kind of saw that coming.

BECK: don't worry, nowhere dangerous.

BECK: fled to runyon for a bit. needed to clear my head.

“i – i never said it wasn’t real.” but her actions said otherwise; everything in her always gravitated back towards beck. hell, she’d even vaguely mentioned it to oliver without saying the real words, but it wasn’t hard to guess what she was implying. and who was she kidding, thinking that beck would believe she’d moved on when she’d all but confessed her feelings to him not long before; who was she kidding, thinking she could even pretend to be in a stable relationship without inevitably fucking it all up. she barely heard his words, her mind buzzing as she glanced up at him again. there was one thing she still wanted to do, if her grave was already dug. standing on her toes, she reached a hand behind beck’s neck and pulled him closer, pressing her lips firmly to his before anybody could stop her.

oliver was so tempted to lash out but this was beck and the best he could do was shrug the hand off of his shoulder sharply. contact was a bad thing for him at that moment. it made him want to push away and do anything he could to get out of the situation. fight or flight but instead it was a mixture of both. “exhale? exhale?! i can’t even-… look, you feel like you can’t fucking exhale when you have to watch every movement. when you have to even watch where you’re looking in case a camera snaps the moment you’re looking at a male coworker. and suddenly it’s a whole big thing. or unless, god forbid, you fall in love with one and then they leave and hell, you can’t talk about it because you can’t even tell anyone you were a thing in the first place!” he ranted, finally inhaling a ragged breath when he realised he’d just talked at the other man. “hiding is the only damn option, beck, can’t you see that?”

“well.”  beck’s face contorted in thought as he considered oliver’s ramble.  part of him wondered if oliver had gotten drunk just before this, but in favor of trusting his co-star, beck was able to rule that option out.  “c’mon, don’t say that.  you shouldn’t have to hide.  you’re obviously not all sunshine and marshmallows, and for fuck’s sake--it’s 2018.” he held his hands up in defense, surprised with himself at how easy it was to remain calm.  “okay, so--so obviously you’ve been through some shit.  i won’t hold it against you.”  after working together the last few years, oliver had to know that.  “okay, true, i see your point.  but damn it, man, you can’t just keep bottling this shit up.  you know it won’t end well if you keep doin’ it.”  

parker scowled, a voice in the back of her mind telling her that what he was saying was true but the louder, alcohol enhanced voice telling her to ignore that one. “are you kidding? of course i’m jealous, you doof! god, do i have to paint it on a fucking billboard?” but he was right: they weren’t together. she had no right to be jealous but she couldn’t help herself, and now she was making a fool of herself in front of beck. she stepped forward and leaned her head against his chest. “i’m sorry,” she said, only loud enough for him to hear. “i just want to fix everything but i can’t, because stupid publicists and stupid contracts and stupid, stupid me messing things up again and again and again.”

they’d been talking for far too long, in parker’s professional opinion. the girl was probably almost as wasted as parker was, and chatting up her beck. well – he wasn’t hers, but the rational part of her brain had been silenced two drinks ago. she threw back the shot in her hand and set the glass on top of the tower she’d already created, sliding off the bar stool and making her way shakily over to where beck stood. halfway there she kicked off her heels, losing them in the crowd; that made it easier not to wobble. once she reached them, her eyes narrowed at the girl, a forced smile on her face. “excuse us,” she said, then linked her arm through beck’s and pulled him away, leading towards a faintly lit corner of the crowded club. she turned to him, lips pulled down in a frown. “are you trying to make me jealous?” she asked, her words slurred to almost unintelligible mush. she looked up at him expectantly, his height much more daunting without her heels on. // @ofbeckxtts

“shut up, you still are a drama queen. there’s absolutely no changing that.” oliver protested, his frustration only rising in levels when he was told to just not lie and offered to punch the pillow. he was so tempted to just show him and run. beck was attractive, oliver was confused. he stood properly and tried to give him a shove away. “you just can’t drop it can you? you’re so fucking persistent, it’s so annoying!” and then.. he kissed him. he kissed him and it was a moment where he felt it before his whole body filled with dread and be broke away, blinking for a moment. “except that. you drop that and you never, ever bring it up again.” he spoke lowly when he remembered how to form words, stepping round him to try and get to the door. it was a bit difficult with all the furniture they’d moved. “you just.. you drop this one and we never mention it again. got it?”

“hm?” oliver looked up from where he’d been pinching the bridge of his nose and tapping away at his phone for a moment. it was almost a distraction. his head wasn’t in it and that was quite obvious with the abrupt way he dropped his phone and looked over. “i’m just.. i don’t know, it doesn’t matter anyway.” he sighed, shrugging. “look, like i said, it’s nothing.” he snapped quite sharply, sitting upright and rolling his shoulders. “you ask me to be honest but how can i just… be honest? it’s not an easy thing, to just spout off actual feelings instead of another round of bullshit.” he took a slow breath, running a hand through his hair and hating how he wished he could disappear on another bender just to avoid this. “they’re complicated and stupid feelings and it’s all just a mess. it’s… its a mess, one big fucking mess that just never stops! honestly, why do you even want to know?! can’t we just drop it?!” he was getting unnecessarily irritable, a definite sign from oliver that he was bothered by something. but he knew beck was persistent, it was one of the reasons they worked well as friends.

“shit, and i thought i was a drama queen.”  beck huffed out a laugh, his face quickly dimming as he watched oliver practically go off.  it was very angsty teen of him--not that he’d say that aloud, although he was the epitome of angst.  “i believe the answer you want is...hmm.  not to lie, maybe?”  he dropped his script on the coffee table, his own personal woes forgotten.  he’d worked with oliver for a while now--he liked to think they shared a bond, and he knew he could pick up on quirks easily.  “here.”  he picked up a throw pillow and held it in front of his body.  “punch this fucker and get your feelings out.  i don’t care if you hurt me, ‘cause that’ll just add to my ian inspiration or some shit.”  one eyebrow raised, beck stepped forward, not wanting to taunt oliver but at the very least wanting him to know that he could be trusted.  “you know me well enough to know that i won’t drop it.”

“keep dreaming, beckett; that’s the only place the king’s will be winning anything,” she crooned, patting him on the arm without thinking. she bit her lip as she let her fingers trail down his arm, brushing against his hand and wishing she could lace her fingers through his. the tension was palpable and she could feel herself being pulled in more and more, and she tore her eyes from his and looked down at the box of donuts in her arms. “on second thought, i think going back to your trailer would be a terrible idea,” she murmured, barely loud enough for him to hear her.

“i guess i can’t let them go to waste then,” she said, moving to take both the donuts and the bee from him. her hands brushed his under the box and she selfishly let them linger for a few seconds before stepping back again, eyes falling to the bee. it was such a corny gift, and that made her love it all the more. “of course,” she said, swallowing hard and meeting his eyes again. “drive safe; let me know when you get home.” it was probably overstepping somehow, but she knew in the back of her mind that she wouldn’t be able to sleep until she knew he got home safely.