Guy comes into the flower shop and loudly proclaims we need to get him out of the doghouse. We dont ask why.
Doesn't know her favorite flower, doesn't know her favorite color. This is, sadly, typical for most dudes that come in. We help him pick out an arrangement.
"Yall sell chocolates?"
"Yes we do," our designer says, indicating the assorted chocolates we have available. Personally, if I wanted to eat chocolate flavored wax, I'd just lick a bath and body works candle, but my opinions wont keep a dude from sleeping on the couch. "But we also have our snack baskets over here."
He gravitates towards the snack baskets, which have more recognizable brands. He picks them up one by one to see which one has the most value, and lands on out meat and cheese sampler.
He seems very proud of himself for choosing this one. While hes at it he picks a teddy bear to go with the flowers and heads up to the register to pay. This amounts to something over 100$
"I see you picked the meat and cheese tray," our designer says. "Good choice."
"Yeah," he said with pride. "I was gonna get one of the others, but then I remembered she's vegan."
Absolutely frozen by the comment, our designer simply stares at the package of assorted meats and cheeses. "Vegan, you say?"
"Yeah, she's all about the health food stuff."
"Vegan," she says again, sounding the word out to make sure it meant what she thought it meant. "Is there any way I can persuade you to get a different basket? I dont think vegans can eat meat... or cheese. The crackers are the only thing in here that's vegan, i think."
He looks down at the meat and cheese basket with fresh eyes, studies it for a moment and turning it over in his hands to assess the contents.
"No, I'm right about this," he says, and hands over his credit card.
Fam... I think I know why he's in the doghouse.
this is so fucking funny.


























