TOMORROW IM GONNA GET MY LIFE TOGETHER FUCKIN DARE ME ILL DO IT
Okay but tomorrow for real this time
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祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Mike Driver

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#extradirty
One Nice Bug Per Day

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Stranger Things
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I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
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Janaina Medeiros
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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@actuallyanimetrash
TOMORROW IM GONNA GET MY LIFE TOGETHER FUCKIN DARE ME ILL DO IT
Okay but tomorrow for real this time

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Yk coming back to Tumblr after so long makes me feel like I'm tomb raider going thru ancient ruins
But also I no longer wish to be an adult and would like to give up my responsibilities please thanks
catch me speeding down the highway blasting tainted love in this dream vehicle
anyone else have one of those Formative Omegle Experiences that’s stuck with you
i remember once matching up with this 27 year old mechanic. he found the omegle page open on one the shop’s computers, and he wanted to see what his coworker was up to. we matched up because of our listed “manga” interests.
he asked how old i was, and i lied and said i was 16. as a conversation starter, he asked if i had my license yet, and because i was 12, i said no.
so he starts giving me driving tips. get a junker as your first, because when you finally get a new car, you’ll be able to appreciate it.
stick shift is going out of fashion, and even if you learn how to drive that way and enjoy it, get an automatic. it’ll save your ass on nasty hills and in rush hour traffic.
and most importantly, never hold your hands at 10 and 2. go with 9 and 3. he’d always loved cars, and used to race when he was younger. became pretty well known in the indie circles. one day, he was speeding around the track and just came out of the curve when a girl in the crowd flashed her tits at him.
he was so distracted that he crashed straight into the barrier. due to how he was holding the wheel, he broke both of his arms. he still has a couple lingering issues.
i asked him if it was worth it, and he said yes. he’d do it again if he had the chance. they were the finest tiddies he’d ever seen.
the moral of this story is that, to this day, i grip 9 and 3 when using both hands because wait that’s what tiddy guy said i should do.
LOL 😂
WHERE-MY-HUG-AT- GASTON
THE POCAHONTAS ONE SJDHAJSDB

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My favorite lifehack is I’m never too polite to take leftovers from any event. “Please take leftovers,” the hostess says, and everyone diffidently murmurs something about the size of their fridge, but I am already sweeping an entire basket of bagels into my tote bag. I gather there may be some unspoken rule of upperclass etiquette that stands in people’s way but listen. Break free of your chains
pro tip: tell people that ur “committed to reducing food waste“ and not only will they not judge u, but you will be seen as conforming to upperclass etiquette
#i could write an essay about how the perceived class of those accepting free food directly correlates with other’s reactions #discovering the term ‘food waste’ suddenly turns people from scroungers to planet savers #and it’s all the damn same thing #if you take free food because you need it you’re seen as a scrounger #if you take it to reduce food waste you’re a god damn hero
I’ll never forget the time I asked for a box after me and an SO went to dinner with his family, and his dad said something about it being tacky and I was like I’M POOR, ASSHOLE
heres the idea: instead of vogue magazine it’s vague magazine. all the editorials are blurry. models shot from 60 feet away. ads just say “buy it”. models hide behind trees and shrubs. you can’t tell what anyone’s wearing.

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This is actually really cute I love it
you can naruto run but you can’t naruto hide
thor is that chad looking dude pathetic men try to say is the enemy and he’s always sort of messing around in class so u think he’s sort of an ass but one night you end up at the same party as him and find out he’s the DD for everyone there. He makes 15 trips. He carries four grown men into their dorms on his shoulders and makes sure they pass out on their sides so they’re safe but not until he makes all of them drink a glass of water.
then he asks everyone else who’s still conscious if they want to go to steak n’ shake before the night ends. he pays for all the shakes.
I’ve never read a more accurate description of Thor in my life
today i learnt that king tutankhamun made sure that he had a condom with him in his next life. i never want to hear a dude say he didn’t have the time to be prepared or didn’t remember to buy condoms. if king tut had the common decency of making sure someone put a condom in his resting place alongside one of the biggest treasures ever so he could practice safe sex in the afterlife no present day dude has an excuse for not wearing condoms.
here it is
it’s made of animal intestine
and they know it was his because they found residue inside that they were able to DNA-match to him
yes, that kind of residue
My mans Tutankhamun was already busting a nut when Osiris was measuring his soul to go see his ol man Ra like imagine having such guts.
When will your fave ever?

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Thor Ragnarok dir. Taika Waititi
My content gets shittier every day.
this cured my depressive episode