Actual Cool Kid, Full of Potato and Sandwiches

TOMORROW IM GONNA GET MY LIFE TOGETHER FUCKIN DARE ME ILL DO IT 

Okay but tomorrow for real this time

catch me speeding down the highway blasting tainted love in this dream vehicle

anyone else have one of those Formative Omegle Experiences that’s stuck with you

WHERE-MY-HUG-AT- GASTON

THE POCAHONTAS ONE SJDHAJSDB

My favorite lifehack is I’m never too polite to take leftovers from any event. “Please take leftovers,” the hostess says, and everyone diffidently murmurs something about the size of their fridge, but I am already sweeping an entire basket of bagels into my tote bag. I gather there may be some unspoken rule of upperclass etiquette that stands in people’s way but listen. Break free of your chains

pro tip: tell people that ur “committed to reducing food waste“ and not only will they not judge u, but you will be seen as conforming to upperclass etiquette

#i could write an essay about how the perceived class of those accepting free food directly correlates with other’s reactions #discovering the term ‘food waste’ suddenly turns people from scroungers to planet savers #and it’s all the damn same thing #if you take free food because you need it you’re seen as a scrounger #if you take it to reduce food waste you’re a god damn hero

I’ll never forget the time I asked for a box after me and an SO went to dinner with his family, and his dad said something about it being tacky and I was like I’M POOR, ASSHOLE

heres the idea: instead of vogue magazine it’s vague magazine. all the editorials are blurry. models shot from 60 feet away. ads just say “buy it”. models hide behind trees and shrubs. you can’t tell what anyone’s wearing.

This is actually really cute I love it

you can naruto run but you can’t naruto hide

I’ve never read a more accurate description of Thor in my life

today i learnt that king tutankhamun made sure that he had a condom with him in his next life. i never want to hear a dude say he didn’t have the time to be prepared or didn’t remember to buy condoms. if king tut had the common decency of making sure someone put a condom in his resting place alongside one of the biggest treasures ever so he could practice safe sex in the afterlife no present day dude has an excuse for not wearing condoms.

this cured my depressive episode