me: *advertising hermitcraft as a family friendly fun light-hearted alternative to the emotional cursed hell that is the dsmp lore*
the hermitblr people on my dash: *rendog being horny on main* *whatever the fuck that bdubs keralis post was about* *buff xisuma and thicc grian*
me:
the hermits themselves on twitter: hey I ate Unwashed Organic Kale and got diarrhoea and I Want Everyone to Know, I’m feeling kinda down but I read a really good 700k Harry Potter fanfic, H̷̡̹́̄͌̑̈ͅC̴̛̤B̴̥͎͕̆B̸̡̮̣͖̈́̈́̍̿̀S̴̜̠͇͆͌, I trademarked “Minecraft Building” sucks to be you lmao
season 2 of hermitcraft propaganda is just:
Welcome to the Hermitcraft Fandom! We have:
Tango Tek: who makes enough innuendos on streams that his mods punish him with bad puns
Zedaph: enables and joins Tango in the innuendo department. Like, the sheer volume of innuendos that come out of their joint streams is almost concerning
Doc M: from what I have heard, he is not only horny on main, but can, will, and has, gotten drunk and ranted about politics on stream. Will also talk about anything on Twitter. Even (I believe) colonoscopies.
Ren: King has flirted with inanimate objects. If you watch his streams, he swings wildly from being wholesome to horny. He is barely keeping himself in check from not being “family friendly”
Cleo: Not horny on main, but makes fun of horny fanfics all the time. Also, in her non-hermitcraft streams, she will swear at people and takes great pleasure in punching racist NPC’s. (As she should) She’ll also threaten great and terrible violence on anyone for any reason. (As she should)
Bdoubleo: The Single Most Unhinged human being I have ever held witness to. He has the vibes of a feral weasel who has just discovered how to unlock his own cage and is about to make it everyone’s problem.
Feel free to add on. I feel as if I am barely scratching the surface.
Joe Hills: Portrayed in most of the fandom as “wise poet dude.” Is very much not that. Pays attention to half the things he says, baits the shippers in every Cleo collab, is so chaotic but in a way that makes you think (either “wow that’s a clever way to exploit the rules” or “what the heck. what the actual heck.”), was the one who originally said “shashwam”-
Impulse: Does not appear to make innuendos at first glance, but can make anyone else seem horny on main just by going “:O why would you SAY such a thing” at normally innocent-sounding phrases (effect usually applied to Tango or Zedaph, who hardly need help in the innuendo department)
Stressmonster: Looks like sugar and spice and everything nice but can be like a mouthful of straight cinnamon with no water, trips her way into the most ridiculous situations
Scar: Commits atrocities but we love him because he has Kind Energy, grinds so much and works so hard I don’t think he sleeps, constantly boosting his cat to the point where she has her own fandom
Keralis: Is it more horny? It’s more horny. Nicknames everyone slightly suggestive things and will dunk hundreds of diamonds on his friends despite having the aesthetic of a greedy businessman (and tbh some of the morals too but shhhhh)
