i only understand like 9% of life

one of my friends who never uses facebook just logged in to post “currently going beastmode on the fool who pilfered my lint roller”

but jack off i guess

got crunchy joints. crispy bones. popcorn ankles. pop pop pop pop thats me gettin out of bed

I’d love to relax but it’s just not realistic

the song mamma mia is the equivalent of saying “i’m back on my bullshit”

ravioli ravioli give me a reason to live

Today’s Friday, though.

tearing bread apart and handing it to someone else is so… spiritual and intimate

lets give this bread

jesus of nazareth made this post

please unmute this

@mynameiseyyyyyy

hognoses are fucking ridiculous

ok. i had to look this up, because this seems just too ridiculous. and wiki does not disappoint: “… the hognose snake will often roll onto its back and play dead with its mouth open and tongue lolling, going as far as to emit a foul musk from the cloaca. Emission of cloacal musk is considerably less likely than in many other species. If the snake is rolled upright while in this state, it will often roll over again as if to insist that it is really dead.”

He’s ready for the world of professional soccer