kiss this.

in general i think new york is very good for my social anxiety because no matter how much of a freak i’m being i know it’s probably not the weirdest thing people have seen today

case in point: i felt bad about bringing my unwieldy luggage onto a crowded train, until the man sitting next to me pulled a live fish out of his backpack

@dwead-piwate-meggers

I think about this man all the time

moral of the story is never do things

*fixes my sleep schedule* *ruins it the very next day* bro

I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. A guy asked me what the Spanish word for tortilla was once and now I dream of kissing him under the moonlight

I’m laughing so hard, tbh

Straight men who always joke about hating their girlfriend are so fucking weird like imagine having a girlfriend and not treasuring and loving her every day smh grow up

current first place: Mr. Mime. Not because Mr. Mime is particularly weak, but because if I ever saw a Mr. Mime in real life I would be filled with the exact power needed to kill a Mr. Mime