another ao ficlet donât mind me âď¸
âItâs to keep the peace,â Leliana implored. âThere have been uprisings in Circles throughout Thedas since Kirkwall. Intelligence tells us that Anders either took part in, or initiated the explosion at the Chantry. While we havenât been able to locate Anders, Amell is still a prominent figure here in Ferelden and acts as Andersâ Warden Commander.â
âSo just ask him where Anders is,â Alistair said, pacing the length of his office. He was anxious, he was always anxious but he was especially anxious right now. Leliana gave him a pitying look.
âWe have. Of course, he wonât tell usâ- If he even knows,â she said.
âThen thatâs that,â Alistair huffed. âAsked and answered. Move on.â
âYou know it is not that simple,â Leliana said gently. âHe has a personal connection with Anders. Amell publicly announced his intent to court the man less than a year ago. For all appearances, it implies that he endorses Andersâ actions in Kirkwall, and as he is your Chancellor, by extension, it appears as though the Throne endorses Andersâ actions.â
Alistair snorted humorously, shaking his head. âDonât we?â Alistair muttered, and then louder said, âKirkwall isâ Was? Is. WasâŚ? Kirkwall is a mess. Maker, red lyrium veins are growing throughout the entire city. People were losing their minds, their Viscount, Whats-His-Nameââ
âHawke,â Leliana supplied politely.
ââ was mad! The Knight Commander was mad! Everyone was mad! Kirkwall was a lost cause before all ofââ Alistair makes a vague gesture with his hand ââthis. That some guy blew up some building barely makes a top ten list of the most shocking things that happened there.â
âBut it was not just some building,â Leliana said. âIt was a Chantry; and it was not just some guy, it was a mage. Regardless of the state of the city, the Chantry was the seat of power for their Circle. It is so for every Circle. The message Anders sent was clear. It is much too late to downplay what has happened. The significance has already been made apparent, and the Circles are responding in kind. Like it or not, the time to choose sides is upon you.â
âI donât like it,â Alistair said, if only to make his position known. Leliana smiled at him, a sad smile, a smile that said she understood how difficult this was for him. But she couldnât know, because she didnât have all the details.
âTo the populous view, Ferelden has been distancing themselves from the Chantry for years,â she explained. âWhat you have done to the Circles and the asylum you have offered mages and apostates has not gone unnoticed. Not just by the Divine, but by all of Thedas. In this time, the eyes of every other country are on you. Circles are rising, but how other kingdoms, free cities, and provinces will respond might come down to you.â
âOh, great, thanks for that. No pressure,â Alistair groaned, raking a sweaty hand through his hair.
âIt is true, Alistiar,â Leliana said seriously. âFerelden has started down a path other countries did not know existed. You and Anora have walked a thin line for many years, and it has only grown a more precarious one as you have continued. Eventually, you were going to meet its end. It seems today is the day you must decide which side of that line you will settle on.â
âMaker, Leliana,â Alistair whined. âYouâre not helping.â
She shrugged. âIt has been many years of relative peace within your country, and the longer Ferelden resists falling to chaos without the Chantyâs guidance, the less it appears the Chantry is needed at all. This is a threat to the Divine.
âYou have an influence you do not fully comprehend, but the Divine does. And now, your Chancellor has allied himself with a revolutionary. If Ferelden refuses to unseat him, the Divine will have no choice but to retaliate. She will need to make an example of Ferelden if she is to maintain her control over the rest of Thedas.â
Fuck, fuck, fuck! And shit! And piss! And balls! And every other vulgar word Alistair could come up with. This was a nightmare. Actually, it was worse than a nightmare. Alistair would have gladly taken an Archdemon nightmare over this mess. This wasâ it wasâ It was so bad Alistair couldnât even come up with an analogy for how bad it was.
In a fit, he quit his pacing and threw himself into his chair, burying his face in his hands and then his hands in his hair. Maker. What was he going to do? What could he do? Lelianaâ the Divine was asking him to do something he couldnât do. Not like this. Not because of this.
âAlistair,â Leliana prompted when he didnât respond. âYou must give me your answer.â
âI need to think,â he said, muffled from behind his hands.
âThere is no more time to think.â she said. Her voice was soft, but he felt no comfort for it. âNo answer is an answer.â
â...I canât do it,â Alistair said miserably. âYou canât ask me to.â
Even if Amell still had his Warden standing, his son and Morrigan didnât. If Amell lost his station, Alistair wasnât sure Amell could protect them. Alistair wasnât even sure Amell could protect himself. Amell was a known necromancer, he was a blood mage with a hundred casting scars littered across his bodyâ it was impossible not to notice. Grey Wardens had a lot of latitude, but even their leeway had its limits and Alistair would bet âblood mageâ pushed them. For all he hated Amell, for all heâd threatened him with over the years, Alistair couldnât actually send Amell back to a Circle. He couldnât send his son to a Circle. Not with everything he knew was waiting for them.
The whisper of Lelianaâs robes alerted Alistair when she stood. Soundlessly, she rounded the table and came to sit beside him, prying his hands from his face and holding them in her own. She ran her thumbs across his knuckles reassuringly. Alistair wished he could find it comforting.
âI canât do it,â he repeated.
âYou must,â she said, and it sounded apologetic but if she was truly sorry, she wouldnât have been here on behalf of the Divine. Her allegiance was as unmistakable as the robes she wore.
âI wonât do it,â he clarified, pulling his hands from hers gently.
âAlistairââ Leliana started, but he shook his head and stood, moving to the window, needing to put some distance between them. âYou will see your country to an Exalted March if you do not. You will be endangering thousands.â
She was right, wasnât she? He had an obligation to his people, to protect them, and he wouldnât be protecting them if he let the Divine March on Ferelden. But he couldnât turn Amell over to the wolves either. A lifetime ago in a dying village on the tailend of a massacre, Alistair promised Amell heâd never let the Templars take him and while a lot had changed, his word hadnât.
Leliana must have been able to tell what he was thinking.
âI know you were close with Amell, but you canât risk the lives of your people for him.â
And she was almost right. Except that Amell was his people, just like every mage in Ferelden was his people. Alistair didnât get to pick and choose which people were his people and which people werenât his people. The Divide might have thought some of those people were her people, but they werenât. They were Alistairâs people.
âItâs not for him, itâs for what he represents,â Alistair said slowly, still trying to put his thoughts in order. âHeâs a mage, Lel. Heâs a mage with titles, and one of the highest ranks in my court.â
âThere are other qualified mages you can appointââ
âAnd whatâs to stop the Divine from bullying that person out of their appointments too if I allow her to do it to Amell? What about the next one? And the next one? And the one after that?â Alistair asked. âWill she have a say in my council next, too? Am I to beg her for the right to seat those I see fit to serve the kingdom? Where does it end, Leliana?
âIf the threat of a March is all it takes to intimidate us out of naming good people â good mages â then she proves she still has control over them and still has control over us. And thatâs what she wants, isnât it? Itâs about power, isnât it?â He asked, but didnât give Leliana time to respond. âItâs not about who or what Amell supports, itâs about proving she still has the authority to have him removed for it.â
Leliana frowned. âAlistairâŚâ
âThatâs what it is, isnât it?â He said. âAmell is a powerful mage, both in politics and magic, and that has been a risk to her status quo for years. This was just an opportunity for her to prove her authority over him. That even with all heâs accomplished, he still only exists by her grace. And if even he canât get out from under her control, then what hope do the other mages have for autonomy?â
âAlistair,â Leliana said, but she couldnât tell him he was wrong.
âYou said it yourself, other countries are watching us. If she can force me to unseat a powerful mage, it proves she still has Ferelden under control and reinforces that no matter how influential a mage gets, he is never out of her reach. She wants to make an example of him. Thatâs what all this is for, isnât it?â
Leliana didnât respond immediately, so he pressed. âIsnât it?â
âMaybe,â Leliana relented. âBut if you do not remove him, she will make a different example.â