Vampire Unicorn

i've seen people point out how funny it is that wake up dead man has a character played by jeremy renner, while jeremy renner as an actor canonically exists in the universe. but what about noah seagan, who's in every movie? the guy who plays trooper wagner/derol/the devil bar guy? does blanc ever notice than in every single one of his cases there's just That One Guy who looks strangely identical to That Other Guy every time

I am shocked at how many people don't have an actively hostile relationship with advertising

show me another character as comforting as benoit blanc, you simply can't

I thought the oar was his thumb, and thought he was just turned around like “ get a load of this guy?”

I'm sure it was confusing to have the overtly anti-right wing song off the anti-right wing album altered to target maga. I cannot imagine how shocking it was to find out that the avowedly socialist and openly bisexual punk rock kid who's written songs about distrusting the government since he was four, is an anti-fascist.

i swear to god if one more stupid fandom ruins a beautiful text post i am calling the police

I am obligated to reblog this again, because it is now Superwholock, and therefore perfection.

people need to remember that every tumblr post in 2012 was like this

My favorite thing is that Europe is spooky because it’s old and America is spooky because it’s big

“The difference between America and England is that Americans think 100 years is a long time, while the English think 100 miles is a long way.” –Earle Hitchner

English people trying to travel around Australia and wildly underestimating distance are my favourite thing

China is both old and big. I had some Chinese colleagues over; we were discussing whether they wanted to see the Vasa ship (hugely expensive war ship which sank on it’s maiden voyage after 12 min). They asked if it was old, I said “not THAT old” (bearing in mind they were Chinese) “it’s from the 1500s.” To my surprise they still looked impressed, nodding enthusiatically. Then I realised I’d forgotten something: “…I mean it’s from the 1500s AFTER the birth of Christ” and they went “oh, AFTER…”.

My dad’s favorite quote from various tours in Italy was “Pay no attention to the tower – it was a [scornful tone] tenth century addition.”

My last boss was Chinese, and she said when her parents came to visit her from Beijing they pronounced Chicago “A very nice village.” 

This post keeps getting better

RT only for the last post. 

*says a fact in a conversation and a wikipedia citation appears next to my head*

*clicks the citation*

*text pops up saying “this is not true. He saw this in a youtube video once in 2014 and took it as fact”. the words “youtube video” are underlined and in blue”

*clicks on the link*

Bitches out here roleplaying internet trolling