Absolute maniac

buddie | 6.5k | humor | rated t

Even if Eddie isn't as straight as either of them previously assumed, something he hesitantly told Buck two months ago and everyone else in a group text last week, he doesn't have feelings for Buck. Buck is sure of that. He has to be.

He's got excellent reasoning behind his certainty:

1. Eddie knows Buck better than anyone else in the world. 2. Eddie is too smart to be in love with Buck. 3. Eddie deserves better than Buck. 4. Christopher wouldn't approve. 5. And, for that matter, Theo probably wouldn't either. He loves Eddie, but loving him as Buck's best friend is way different than loving him as Buck's boyfriend. 6. If Buck lets himself have hope, he'll be crushed.

He repeats this list to himself a lot. It's a good list.

Despite the amount of time he spends running over all the reasons this won't work, his heart still leaps into his throat when Eddie rounds the engine and smiles at him. He looks good, already in uniform with his hair gelled back. The strand that usually springs free about three hours into any given shift is still in place.

“Hey, Buck,” Eddie says. “How's Theo doing?”

“He tried to make the microwave explode this morning.” Has Buck's mouth always been this dry? Maybe it's been a few years since he last had a sip of water. That would explain it.

“He's going to be a scientist.” Eddie's tone is both confident and adoring. Buck wants to lick him.

He doesn't. They're at work, and Eddie doesn't want Buck. Instead, he lurches forward, shoves the box into Eddie's hands, and says, “Thanks, cupcake.”

Then he flees the scene. It’s not dignified, but he doesn’t want to see Eddie’s reaction to Buck turning up with a freshly bought baked good for him and no one else. It’s too revealing.

It isn't until he's halfway into his uniform, fly still open and shirt unbuttoned, that he realizes.

Thanks, cupcake.

tagged by @exhausteddiaz & @littlefreakbuckley <3

from a new-ish post-9x15 fic in the works based on this post where I speculate on who found Buck's sex toys while searching his house lolol

Eventually, Buck gets better. His forray into drugs is probably better classified as a dependency rather than an addiction, but he treats his sobriety with the same seriousness as a hardened addict with decades of relapse, at least for the first few months. Eventually, he'll allow himself a beer again after work, a cocktail when Hen and Karen drag him out for a night, but not quite yet. For now, he throws himself into work. He feels more on top of his game than he has in years, and limits his free time by picking up shifts with B and C shift whenever possible.

So really, when you think about it, it's Buck's fault that Eddie can't contain his curiosity.

It's hour 25 of Buck's extra 48 with B shift when he finally breaks. Buck's always been pretty good with plants, but ever since New Mexico, he's taken it to the extreme. Almost every open surface in his home has been filled with orchids and prayer plants, ferns and calatheas and pothos, all of which he keeps on a strict watering schedule. Not to mention the humidifiers, which need refreshed with new water themselves every other day. Then there's the soil monitors and plant food, all of it tracked in a militant spreadsheet Eddie watches continually expand from their shared drive. Because despite Eddie's self-proclaimed black thumb, he's about the only person Buck trusts to actually follow through with his meticulously detailed care plans. Which means when they're not on shift together, Eddie's still at his house every day Buck's not to make sure his precious plants are in perfect health.

It's sort of cute, Eddie thinks, when he's not texting Eddie with reminders every 20 seconds.

Remember it's Lily's turn for a banana ice bath! he sends as Eddie pulls into his driveway. Lily, of course, being the purple orchid in his kitchen bay. He thought it was funny to give all the plants plant-like names not at all related to their actual species. Thankfully, they're in the spreadsheet, too — Eddie tries to remember them all, but at this point, there's upwards of two dozen.

And Fern needs extra misting today, he reminds as Eddie closes the front door behind him. Not to be confused with the actual ferns on his back porch, Fern is the prayer plant he keeps next to a picture of Bobby and him on his bedroom dresser.

It's got a grim sort of irony that a damn prayer plant is his downfall. Especially because it's Eddie's fault in the first place that he needs to tend to it today. He's been kind of...avoiding Fern and her room ever since Buck got better. He could say it's because of Bobby, but that would be a lie. The truth is, he hasn't trusted himself to be in there alone ever since his discovery. And while he's followed every directive Buck's given him like gospel for Lily and Jasmine and Basil and the rest of them, Fern is the only one Buck keeps in his bedroom. So, most of the time, he just. “Forgets” about her.

He should probably be arrested for plant neglect. Or like, fined or something.

But Buck's been, to put it mildly, freaking out about her lately. Because she's wilting, despite all the extra love and care he's been putting into her. And now that he's started spiraling that it's somehow a message of disappointment from Bobby above, Eddie knows he has to man up and mist the fucking thing like his life depends on it.

The first thing he notices when he enters Buck's room is that the drawer on his bedside table has been left exactly one inch open.

It's one of those soft-close drawers, so Buck probably didn't even notice it didn't close the whole way the last time he used it. Based on Eddie's memory of what's in there, he assumes Buck was a little...busy to think to look at it. But it's taunting Eddie, and he finds his gaze trailing over to it even as he mists and mists with the little antique sprayer Buck scored at a yard sale. He probably mists a little too hard; the plant is positively dripping with dew by the time he sits the sprayer down next to Fern and lets his full interest trail to where he can't look away.

He should close it, right? If Buck comes home and finds it like this, he might think Eddie was the one sneaking a peek, even if he tries to explain himself. He can picture the conversation now, and in every scenario, it ends with him red-faced and begging Buck to forgive him for something he didn't even do. It's in everyone's best interest if he just. Closes it.

But when his hand finds the handle, his wires get crossed, and he drags it open.

HURRAYYYYYYY MY FAVORITE TOPIC!!!

I've talked about it in this post ->

https://www.tumblr.com/buddiesmutslut/794600146028675072/also-okay-sorry-to-keep-harping-on-eddie-is-the?source=share

Before, about how Eddie's natural inclination towards emotional reassurance, words of affirmation and stuff like that are characteristics that far more in line with being an Omega than an Alpha. Not to mention his canonical "I'm a nester, I nest" line so like... come ON, ykwim? Also how, while Eddie was raised to be a Provider (which is more an expectation of Alphas), that not really how he shows his love. He joins the Army and everything because providing for his family was what was Expected of him, it was what he saw his whole entire life, his father being away to ensure that the family was provided for, but we also know that Eddie's not really proud of his service, and he also feels badly about being away from Chris for so long. Like, he provides because that was the expectation on him, but not because that's how he actually WANTS to take care of people. He said in that episode with Shannon about how being Christopher's dad taught him more about being a man than war ever did, and that feels very much like The Eddie Omega statement. When he's actually allowed to be who he is, he is soft and loving and wants to make sure that the people around him are okay emotionally, just as much as they are physically. Also, him making a home in Texas, the way he took that dump and did his best to make it a home for his baby... THAT'S AN OMEGA!!! He was literally nesting oh my godddddddd.

Okay, sorry, I'm calm again. Now, Buck's canon characteristics are far more alike stereotypical Alphas are described - a little hotheaded, sleeps with anything that moves without much shame, stuff like that, but even the way he takes care of people! It's been largely stated in the fandom that Buck's love language is Acts of Service, he's a provider! He calls Carla up to take care of Eddie and Chris, he takes over Eddie's lease so he can be with Chris, he orchestrates it so that the 118 (& Eddie and Chris) can spend Christmas together like. He is solving his Omega's problems! He is taking care of the outside complications and physical well beings so that his mate can take care of the emotional bits of it, which is the Alpha/Omega dynamic!!!!

Obviously, these are all stereotypical characteristics, they're not true of every Alpha or Omega and blah blah blah but like. Idk I just cannot fucking fathom how this fandom can look at these two character and see the most omega-esque who has been CANONICALLY CONFIRMED and be like... Yeah, that's definitely an Alpha, and he's also kind of mean sometimes... ??? like... ????

Also, have we ever considered Pregnant Eddie?? Like, rounded in the middle, cheeks full and flushed from warmth, GLOWINNGGGGGGG!!! And Buck running around at all hours of the night to get snacks, packing and rechecking the go-bag, brushing Eddie sweat-soaked hair off his forehead in the delivery room??? Like! It's beautiful!!!! JOIN ME IN THIS BEAUTIFUL KNOWLEDGE!!!

Also, it's really fun for me to think about Buck being born an Alpha (the "preferred" designation), and how he was Right to give pieces of himself to Daniel, but it still wasn't enough, whereas Eddie's designation is like, maybe not what anybody in his family would've, but they don't care That Much, because they still have Expectations of him, he's still a Diaz man, and the fact that he goes through heats once a month isn't an excuse, he still needs to be the man of the house when his dad is gone, the way his parents think he should be A Man, and then he gets out of Texas and learns that his designation isn't anything to be ashamed of, that he's allowed to have his instincts and it doesn't make him any less of a man or any less worthy of love or joy, and I feel like that fits in with his entire character arc on the show 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

BUT first there was the scene with Taylor where he first climbed on top of her and then she flipped him over and he got the widest smile from her being on top and taking control.

Then Lucy happened where she cornered him against the pool table and kissed him. Pretty much every time he is seen with a woman they are on top (except for when he lifted Taylor up in the bathroom). With Tommy I got mixed vibes (I'm partly thinking of Tommy's "daddy issues" joke and how Buck pulled him into the room while walking backwards as if he wanted to pull the man on top of him).

and with Zane I agree that he likely topped.

Finally, he can absolutely be a service top that lets his partners ride him into the mattress or take what they want from him (/pos) without him being a bottom, which is 100% more the vibe I get from him. Although, I always did kind of assume that while Tommy was gay, he was too bigoted to bottom, so Buck did that in that relationship, so aye, switching! 🤣 & all Tommy wanted to know with his Daddy Issues comment was whether or not Buck’s self esteem was low enough that he was going to be Easy, & that has nothing to do with positions lol. He just kind of sucked 💀

I read that fic like a month ago if you have the same username on Ao3! It was really good btw 💖.

And like I said before I agree with you that they are 100% Switches with each other and that Eddie generally fits better as an omega.

I just want to clarify that I said "Bottom energy" which doesn't always mean the same as "being a bottom/bottoming". I think Top/Bottom energy might be slightly closer to but does not always equate to Dom/Sub dynamics? At least in common speech.

It is more about who is the one taking charge rather than the actual physical positions. But yeah service top kinda works too.

HURRAYYYYYYY MY FAVORITE TOPIC!!!

I've talked about it in this post ->

https://www.tumblr.com/buddiesmutslut/794600146028675072/also-okay-sorry-to-keep-harping-on-eddie-is-the?source=share

Before, about how Eddie's natural inclination towards emotional reassurance, words of affirmation and stuff like that are characteristics that far more in line with being an Omega than an Alpha. Not to mention his canonical "I'm a nester, I nest" line so like... come ON, ykwim? Also how, while Eddie was raised to be a Provider (which is more an expectation of Alphas), that not really how he shows his love. He joins the Army and everything because providing for his family was what was Expected of him, it was what he saw his whole entire life, his father being away to ensure that the family was provided for, but we also know that Eddie's not really proud of his service, and he also feels badly about being away from Chris for so long. Like, he provides because that was the expectation on him, but not because that's how he actually WANTS to take care of people. He said in that episode with Shannon about how being Christopher's dad taught him more about being a man than war ever did, and that feels very much like The Eddie Omega statement. When he's actually allowed to be who he is, he is soft and loving and wants to make sure that the people around him are okay emotionally, just as much as they are physically. Also, him making a home in Texas, the way he took that dump and did his best to make it a home for his baby... THAT'S AN OMEGA!!! He was literally nesting oh my godddddddd.

Okay, sorry, I'm calm again. Now, Buck's canon characteristics are far more alike stereotypical Alphas are described - a little hotheaded, sleeps with anything that moves without much shame, stuff like that, but even the way he takes care of people! It's been largely stated in the fandom that Buck's love language is Acts of Service, he's a provider! He calls Carla up to take care of Eddie and Chris, he takes over Eddie's lease so he can be with Chris, he orchestrates it so that the 118 (& Eddie and Chris) can spend Christmas together like. He is solving his Omega's problems! He is taking care of the outside complications and physical well beings so that his mate can take care of the emotional bits of it, which is the Alpha/Omega dynamic!!!!

Obviously, these are all stereotypical characteristics, they're not true of every Alpha or Omega and blah blah blah but like. Idk I just cannot fucking fathom how this fandom can look at these two character and see the most omega-esque who has been CANONICALLY CONFIRMED and be like... Yeah, that's definitely an Alpha, and he's also kind of mean sometimes... ??? like... ????

Also, have we ever considered Pregnant Eddie?? Like, rounded in the middle, cheeks full and flushed from warmth, GLOWINNGGGGGGG!!! And Buck running around at all hours of the night to get snacks, packing and rechecking the go-bag, brushing Eddie sweat-soaked hair off his forehead in the delivery room??? Like! It's beautiful!!!! JOIN ME IN THIS BEAUTIFUL KNOWLEDGE!!!

Also, it's really fun for me to think about Buck being born an Alpha (the "preferred" designation), and how he was Right to give pieces of himself to Daniel, but it still wasn't enough, whereas Eddie's designation is like, maybe not what anybody in his family would've, but they don't care That Much, because they still have Expectations of him, he's still a Diaz man, and the fact that he goes through heats once a month isn't an excuse, he still needs to be the man of the house when his dad is gone, the way his parents think he should be A Man, and then he gets out of Texas and learns that his designation isn't anything to be ashamed of, that he's allowed to have his instincts and it doesn't make him any less of a man or any less worthy of love or joy, and I feel like that fits in with his entire character arc on the show 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

BUT first there was the scene with Taylor where he first climbed on top of her and then she flipped him over and he got the widest smile from her being on top and taking control.

Then Lucy happened where she cornered him against the pool table and kissed him. Pretty much every time he is seen with a woman they are on top (except for when he lifted Taylor up in the bathroom). With Tommy I got mixed vibes (I'm partly thinking of Tommy's "daddy issues" joke and how Buck pulled him into the room while walking backwards as if he wanted to pull the man on top of him).

and with Zane I agree that he likely topped.

“You feel the bulge in his pants” - implies that you are feeling some guy’s penis, may be sexy depending on context

your condom breaks

you feel a lump on your breast

your friends are ignoring you

you’re stranded on an island 

you got rejected by a crush

you get into a car accident

you got stung by a bee/wasp

you got fired from your job

you’re in an earthquake

your tattoo gets infected

your house is on fire

you’re lost in the woods

you get arrested abroad

you get robbed

your partner cheated on you

you’re on a ship that’s sinking

you fall into ice

you’re stuck in an elevator

you hit a deer with your car

you have food poisoning

your pet passed away

you fall off of a horse

you or your friend has alcohol poisoning

you have toxic shock syndrome

Hen: You're currently sitting on Buck's lap.

Chin: With Buck's hands on your ass.

Ravi: And you're currently working on a hickey on his neck.

Eddie: He's very warm and my butt and lips were cold.

Harry: It's 84°F out I think Eddie might be sick.

Hen: Thank you, Harry, I bet Buck will take his temperature later, let's give them some privacy.

It's been hours of Theo running around and causing chaos around Buck's house. By the time Eddie and Chris arrive for their visit, the house looks like a series of natural disasters took place.

"Sorry guys. I completely lost track of time," he sighs when he opens the door.

Both Chris and Eddie's eyes widen at the state of Buck's house. Toys scattered on the floor, marker scribbles over the walls, building blocks lying all over, and Theo still zooming about.

"It's alright," Eddie says sympathetically. "Maybe you should go get Theo cleaned up and Chris and I can order pizza or something."

"I've tried everything, he won't budge," Buck murmurs. "I tried giving him a bath earlier but after less than 5 minutes, there was more water on the floor than in the bath."

Eddie's eyes trail over Buck's exhausted state, "Okay new plan. How about you go and get pizza to clear your mind a bit while Chris and I watch after Theo?"

"No, no, it's fine. I'm fine," Buck shakes his head.

"Well you look horrible," Chris comments.

"Thanks, bud," Buck murmurs. "Okay, fine. I'll go get dinner. But if there's anything - just call me and I'll come back."

"Don't worry, we've got this," Eddie reassures.

Buck takes about half an hour to get back home after grabbing dinner for everyone.

When he places the key in the lock, the house sounds suspiciously quiet. Part of him wonders whether Theo managed to lore Eddie and Chris into a plan to jump out and scare him when he steps inside. Who could say no to that cute face?

However when he opens the door, he's met with the last thing he expected.

All the toys are packed away, the walls are free of scribbled drawings, and Theo is sat in his pjs next to Chris watching a cartoon Buck doesn't recognize.

Eddie emerges from the kitchen with a sippy cup filled with what looks like juice.

"How did you-" Buck frowns, gesturing to Theo.

"C'mon, Buck. I've had years of practice," Eddie shrugs.

"Chris never acts like this though," Buck says in confusion.

"Who said I was referring to Chris?" he raises a brow. "I'm talking about you."

Buck narrows his eyes in slight offense.

What I’d give for one of the Cinderella remakes to go into how when you’re in an isolated and abusive situation, sometimes you need to be saved and you’re not weak if you can’t escape by yourself

She’s impossibly wealthy. The dress isn’t a fabric he can recognize, but it’s beaded with cut diamonds, faintly milky opals that shimmer with a rainbow, little pale aquamarines, and somewhere are little bells gently ringing with each step - he’s a Prince and he can’t afford to dress like that. The slippers ring too … there is nothing like that crafted by the hands of humans. That’s fairy stuff. She has an in with them that eclipses royal politics. She is powerful in the Old Ways.

All this wraps around the poorest woman he’s ever seen in his entire life, and he’s seen some very, very, poor people in his time.

Poor in money, but poor in “oh you poor thing!” as well. This is someone who has been robbed blind. This is someone who carried themselves waiting for the lash, for a browbeating, for harsh, cruel, abrupt, punishment.

He expects her to be haughty, or hard, or meek or… something else… but she’s just nice. She’s just … nice.

The rigid posture comes out of his back, his tongue unsticks. She’s like sitting by the embers of a low, calm, fire. He feels warmed and rested simply speaking to her. He wonders if it’s magic, and it might be, but if it is it is magic that is her own.

And that terrifies him, because he’s trained to see these things and he knows someone with a cruel hand is waiting to douse her, and snuff her, and beat the last glimmer out of her shining eyes - eyes that put that dress to shame and and and and… she’s gone.

Oh god, she’s gone. It will be all over her sweet, kind, warm face that she transgressed and … oh god they’ll kill her, whoever they are. This will embarrass them and if there’s anything he knows, it’s that you don’t humiliate someone who has power over you and walk away unscathed.

And all he has is a fairy slipper that will only ever fit her foot (it’s not merely shoe size, it’s a kind of spiritual fit as well), and the vain hope that he can keep such a bright light from burning out. It doesn’t even touch his heart that what he’s feeling is a kind of pure philia, not until it enraptures him soul to bones, all at once. Oh god, oh no, oh shit… he’s reached well above his station, but…he can try to be good and worthy.

I wanted the birds to look like they were actually in the space so first thing after doing the draft was to do a lighting study

after that I covered the walls in letters in lieu of a projector/vr headset bc i have neither of those :) Then i take a picture of the section of wall and superimpose the lineart over top of it so I can pencil in the lines

et voila

GIVE IT UP FOR BIRD NUMBUH 5, THE CANADIAN GOOSE, Branta canadensis!!!!

bird 5/14, Bluejay, Cyanocitta cristata

birds 6 and 7: American Goldfinch, Spinus tristis, male and female

BIRD NUMBER 8, (yellow shafted) NORTHERN FLICKERRRRR, Colaptes auratus

genuinely made me start questioning my sanity around day 3, it's half the size the of the goose, WHY did it take me 4 days to finish??

Bird number 9: Red-tailed hawk, Buteo jamaicensis

my chains are broken i am FREE. although i did have a great deal of fun with this, the barring on the wings itself took me like four days and i am READY to move on

this was a week and a half of continuous work so please excuse me for getting a little emotional in the bg 🙏

BIRD NUMBER 10!!! The Male Mallard Duck, Anas platyrhynchos

the male and female ones are gonna be posted separately bc they're taking a lot longer lol but yea! super happy i was able to capture the iridescent green of the head, i found metallic green and blue paint at a craft store that really made his head POP. it looks better in person i promise

ALSO!! As this is the 10th one, BIG announcement. The end is in sight!!!!! I plan to finish within the next 3 weeks and there will be a small dedication ceremony/ unveiling happening at the library to commemorate its completion on the 16th of May. If you live in the Western New York region and want to check it out for yourself shoot me a dm!

aaaand another one bites the duck,

we're movin right along with bird numero 11!! The lady Mallard!! Anas platyrhyncos

power couple that they are, here's bird number 12 and 13,

the Northern Cardinals, Cardinalis cardinalis

and NOW that they are complete, ITS GO TIME, in the next five days (library's closed for mother's day 😭😭) i need to have the GBH fully rendered, the names of the birds vectored, weeded, masked, applied to the wall, and then painted, plus additional cattails throughout. I may be able to get away with just getting the GBH done in time for the unveiling and then just have the names and cattails added later, but i'm gonna really try to get it all done in time. BUT, i have a plan. Part of why i take so long on these is because i really am just figuring it out as I do it lmao. there have been many a time where i am sitting on top of the ladder googling "how to paint birds" but I think if i take the time tomorro to do all that figuring out how to approach it beforehand, this will go a lot faster. I may also recruit some of my artist friends to help with the placing of the names... hrmm we'll see.

Anyways, shout out to the librarian who tracked down exactly the thing i needed so i could figure out where to place the highlights in my birds eyes, ur the real mvp

Bird number 14 out of 14,

The Great blue heron, Ardea herodius

thank you to everyone who reached out or got excited about this project, it genuinely gave me the fuel i needed to keep going. In total, the 480+ total hrs it took me to cover this wall pales in comparison to how long its expected to spend on there, hopefully imparting a sense of beauty and love for the natural world to the next generation and here's hoping i'm only getting started with these.

When he gets up and reaches the kitchen, he sees Eddie and Theo make breakfast while dancing to "Shut up and dance"

Theo stands on the breakfast bar, holding Eddie's hands while dancing.

HURRAYYYYYYY MY FAVORITE TOPIC!!!

I've talked about it in this post ->

https://www.tumblr.com/buddiesmutslut/794600146028675072/also-okay-sorry-to-keep-harping-on-eddie-is-the?source=share

Before, about how Eddie's natural inclination towards emotional reassurance, words of affirmation and stuff like that are characteristics that far more in line with being an Omega than an Alpha. Not to mention his canonical "I'm a nester, I nest" line so like... come ON, ykwim? Also how, while Eddie was raised to be a Provider (which is more an expectation of Alphas), that not really how he shows his love. He joins the Army and everything because providing for his family was what was Expected of him, it was what he saw his whole entire life, his father being away to ensure that the family was provided for, but we also know that Eddie's not really proud of his service, and he also feels badly about being away from Chris for so long. Like, he provides because that was the expectation on him, but not because that's how he actually WANTS to take care of people. He said in that episode with Shannon about how being Christopher's dad taught him more about being a man than war ever did, and that feels very much like The Eddie Omega statement. When he's actually allowed to be who he is, he is soft and loving and wants to make sure that the people around him are okay emotionally, just as much as they are physically. Also, him making a home in Texas, the way he took that dump and did his best to make it a home for his baby... THAT'S AN OMEGA!!! He was literally nesting oh my godddddddd.

Okay, sorry, I'm calm again. Now, Buck's canon characteristics are far more alike stereotypical Alphas are described - a little hotheaded, sleeps with anything that moves without much shame, stuff like that, but even the way he takes care of people! It's been largely stated in the fandom that Buck's love language is Acts of Service, he's a provider! He calls Carla up to take care of Eddie and Chris, he takes over Eddie's lease so he can be with Chris, he orchestrates it so that the 118 (& Eddie and Chris) can spend Christmas together like. He is solving his Omega's problems! He is taking care of the outside complications and physical well beings so that his mate can take care of the emotional bits of it, which is the Alpha/Omega dynamic!!!!

Obviously, these are all stereotypical characteristics, they're not true of every Alpha or Omega and blah blah blah but like. Idk I just cannot fucking fathom how this fandom can look at these two character and see the most omega-esque who has been CANONICALLY CONFIRMED and be like... Yeah, that's definitely an Alpha, and he's also kind of mean sometimes... ??? like... ????

Also, have we ever considered Pregnant Eddie?? Like, rounded in the middle, cheeks full and flushed from warmth, GLOWINNGGGGGGG!!! And Buck running around at all hours of the night to get snacks, packing and rechecking the go-bag, brushing Eddie sweat-soaked hair off his forehead in the delivery room??? Like! It's beautiful!!!! JOIN ME IN THIS BEAUTIFUL KNOWLEDGE!!!

Also, it's really fun for me to think about Buck being born an Alpha (the "preferred" designation), and how he was Right to give pieces of himself to Daniel, but it still wasn't enough, whereas Eddie's designation is like, maybe not what anybody in his family would've, but they don't care That Much, because they still have Expectations of him, he's still a Diaz man, and the fact that he goes through heats once a month isn't an excuse, he still needs to be the man of the house when his dad is gone, the way his parents think he should be A Man, and then he gets out of Texas and learns that his designation isn't anything to be ashamed of, that he's allowed to have his instincts and it doesn't make him any less of a man or any less worthy of love or joy, and I feel like that fits in with his entire character arc on the show 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

He is pretty sure that he can be a decent dad. He is a great, awesome dad, but chances are he’ll never fully believe that. Especially after the whole Chris-in-Texas parenthesis. However, he knows he can successfully babysit a toddler and survive, making sure that they both make it through the day and he can return said toddler safe to his parent (which is a thought he’d probably associate with a postal package but… he’s stressed). That’s what he keeps reminding himself while he follows Theo around the house.

He never told Buck, but there’s no mistaking this kid for anyone other than Buck’s son. And Eddie kind of loves it. Part of Eddie, after hearing all about Buck’s childhood, wishes he could teleport back in time and hold baby Buck, protecting him from all harm, but that’s probably just his paternal instincts taking over him from time to time. Taking care of Theo gives him the impression that he’s doing something good for Buck, and for baby Buck.

However, whenever he’s with the kid, especially when they are alone, he doesn’t have much room to sit down and think. And he loves it. Really. He doesn’t mind at all that Theo is such an energetic and intelligent kid. If anything, he loves him for it.

The problem is that his brain-to-mouth filter is completely gone most of the time.

And that’s something that Eddie definitely does not like. Especially since realizing how in love he is with his best friend.

Buck is the most important person in his life after Christopher, and he cannot and won’t jeopardize that.

Except that Theo probably has other plans for him. Because it’s not Eddie’s fault that the kid has begged him for ice cream and not his fault that he can’t resist him, so now they’re trying not to get chocolate ice cream all over his couch and Theo is completely covered in it.

It’s not Eddie’s fault, really. Theo keeps giggling and Eddie is a little bit tired. “Look at you, Theo!” He says, and the kid just keeps giggling like Eddie is the funniest man alive. “What are we telling your dad?”

It just… slips out.

And Theo doesn’t flinch, not like Eddie does. Instantaneously and violently. Fuck. He really shouldn’t have said that, but Theo doesn’t seem to notice, so he won’t bring it up.

Theo just smiles, a bit mischievously and says “call Buck!”

Eddie sighs. He fucking loves this kid. It’s honestly unfair. “We can’t call Buck, buddy, he’s at work, remember?” He gently reminds him.

Theo seems to think about it, then nods, and then throws himself at Eddie, who is crouched down by the couch, so in two seconds flat, they are both covered in ice cream.

And Eddie is wearing a white tee, but he won’t budge. Not a time for a mental breakdown. He was a soldier. He can survive a mini Buck.

“Theo…”

“Eddie!” Theo delightfully wraps his arms around Eddie’s neck and squeezes and Eddie wants to drop on the floor, precisely lying down, and sob until he’s dying from dehydration.

“Eddie’s got you!” Then he whispers in Eddie’s neck, because Buck is always telling him that, and Eddie’s heart becomes dust in his chest. There’s no way it has not exploded.

“Yeah,” he breathes out, all chocked up and emotional. “I always got you.” And then, when Theo wiggles free, he adds, “now we gotta get you in a bath, bud.”

By the time Buck comes home, Christopher is sound asleep in his room, but Theo seems determined to win his battle against sleep and waits for Buck with only one eye open.

“Hey, Theo, you can sleep, buddy, I’m here,” Buck reassures him, kneeling down next to the little bed.

Theo smiles. Somehow, his smile manages to always carry a spark of something playful and smart, and Buck loves him for that. “Hello,” he sleepily murmurs. Then he turns to Eddie, to look at him for a moment, before succumbing to sleep. “Don’t tell dad, Eddie.”

Eddie remains frozen on the spot, looking at Buck, while Buck looks at Theo like he’s a ticking bomb.