Happy pride month to the tiny cowboy and tiny Trojan man from Night at the Museum

the original premise being literally not true just makes it funnier. spooking myself with a terrifying specter imitating my personal ravenous ghoul

Put that down

a thief

lemon stealing whore

Turns out the scheming eunuch's love for you is genuine

sometimes i want to get into a d/s relationship but instead of sexual stuff it’s them forcing me to do my uni work

The Dom stroking your hair and praising you for getting good sources "Good girl that essay is so long and informative, don't forget to site your sources too"

please god let chatgpt die out like nfts did. With a fast and graceless fall into irrelevancy

Like to charge, reblog to cast.

This spell has a very low hit ratio, so we need a lot of us to do it.

I'm imagining a fortune teller who's also a child so her idea of what a good fate is vs a terrible one isn't really in line with her clients at all

Imagine u go to visit the oraclet (oracling?) and she tells u there's untold riches in your future and later it becomes very apparent that what she was predicting was you winning $20 from a lottery ticket

She dismisses every wedding she predicts as a Terrible Fate because she thinks the kissing is cringe

guy who's having gauzy idealized wife flashbacks for the whole adventure but it turns out she isn't dead or anything he just really misses her and wants to get home

At this point it's more disappointing than shocking that not a single assassin in the states can aim a fucking gun

To my 25 - 35 year olds, you've reached the age where people around you are starting to give up on themselves because they think it's too late. Don't let that energy rub off on you. It's not too late.