Rosalind's a F***ing Nightmare and So am I

‘Richard has been active as a lector and Eucharistic minister in his parish for many years. When he first came out as gay in his 50s, he “didn’t say too much about that” at church. Now he’s becoming more open. To Richard, now in his 70s, the LGBTQ ministry group at his parish feels like a step in the right direction. He hopes that, if they start by creating a “welcoming place,” it can then lead to better dialogue outside the group. He said most people at his parish make him feel “pretty welcome.” As to the rest, he’s made his peace with it. “I don’t see anybody as perfect,” he said. “I believe the church is divine, and it’s human. And this is the human aspect of it.” Other LGBTQ Catholics approach the LGBTQ ministries with more skepticism. Is it actually possible, they question, to create a safe space within an institution that they’ve experienced as oppressive? Jamie, who grew up Catholic, points to the teachings in Father James Martin’s Building a Bridge, a popular book on Catholics’ relationship to the LGBTQ community, as an example. “It’s the best thing that the Church has to offer, and it still falls so far short of what we actually need,” she said. “It doesn’t actually say we should have equal rights. It just says, like, ‘You shouldn’t bully LGBTQ people.’” To her, that feels like a low bar.

She suggested LGBTQ Catholics might be better off forming groups without official parish affiliation. …Maybe it’s not possible, she said, to have a truly affirming place within the church’s official purview.

Through Dignity, a national Catholic organization with a Pittsburgh branch, LGBTQ Catholics have carved out their own inclusive spaces for more than 50 years. A 72-year-old lifelong Catholic Pittsburgher, Ken Pruszynski has been involved at Dignity for 35 years. Since the pandemic began, the group has been meeting virtually. Still, it feels “like a family,” he said.

He generally felt “comfortable and included” in the parish he attended through the Diocese, too. Still, what he’s experienced at Dignity is different. In his former parish, he’d tell people he was gay if they asked, but he preferred to be a “little bit cautious.”

He doesn’t feel that inclination at Dignity. “At Dignity, you know, you can be really outrageous and hug somebody,” he said, laughing. …’

Being Catholic and LGBTQA+ is complicated, but there are resources out there. Wander through my #queer and catholic tag for more posts like this one.