don't ya big boy

She met someone when she wasn’t even twenty, and she had children. And then she found her calling as a druid, but she couldn’t have both. She had to choose between pursuing her calling and raising her children, and she chose her calling. She abandoned her partner, Hal, and their children, and she only reentered their lives much later. It seems like her daughter is more or less on good terms with her—she might have been young enough not to remember Thaisha very well, so losing her didn’t hurt quite so much—but the implication is very much that her son is a different story. Al, her son, doesn’t come to the funeral. He doesn’t really communicate with her, and we’re not even sure how in touch with Hal he is. Thaisha made a choice that was necessary for her, but it had a cost, and it’s one that she still feels in her bones.

And then out of nowhere comes Occtis. It sounds like Thjazi helped him out of a sticky situation when he was a child. My guess is that he showed serious aptitude for and interest in the arcane, and might have almost been caught illegally practicing magic. Whatever it was, I think it led directly to his break with his family. Alex mentioned that his clothing was fine but worn. He doesn’t ever use his surname, despite it being one of the most powerful families in Dol-Makjar. Wick recognized him only barely, and as someone he hasn’t seen in a very long time.

So whatever happened that Thjazi rescued Occtis from meant that Occtis basically lost his family. And while Thjazi seems like quite the hero, one of the recurring themes of his character seems to be that he’s less talented at long-term follow-through. He was never going to be able to raise this kid, but he knew someone he trusted implicitly who had her own storied history of choosing a magical path, and losing a great deal to walk that path.

For Thaisha, it’s clear that Occtis is her second-chance. He allows her to get it right, but it puts them both in such an awkward place. She thinks of him as her son when she’s vulnerable. She treats him as a child even though he’s probably either almost twenty or in his early twenties. She loves him, but I think he knows how much of a replacement he is. His instict to disguise himself as someone who is an almost-but-not-quite dead ringer for Thaisha’s biological son hits like a gut punch. He wants to be her son so badly, but he’s also too smart not to know how she’s treating him as her second chance with the son she lost. I wonder if Occtis has ever actually met Al, and if he has, how it went. I wonder if Thaisha knows exactly what she’s doing, and how complicated her second chance really is. Maybe it’s like becoming a druid. She knows it’s messy. She knows it has a cost. She knows it could all be a disaster, but she needs this second chance. She needs to have a son who loves her, and who doesn’t have the same baggage with her past.