Time to Boost Some Gold

“Unfortunate! Anyway,”

AHAB IS THE ONLY BITCH ON THAT SHIP WITH ANY AGENCY AND HE WILL KILL AND DIE AND GNAW OFF HIS OWN SANITY LIKE AN ANIMAL IN A TRAP TO GET FREE AND EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WHOLE BOOK IS JUST LIKE "lol yeah sometimes you get a shitty boss what can you do" AND HE'S LIKE "YOU CAN FUCKING KILL HIM OR DIE TRYING YOU ASSHOLES" AND EVERYONE IS LIKE "yup there's my shitty boss again. blaspheming."

Item: Spider-Man fountain that sprays gay beer that turns grass into astroturf

the funniest part of this post to me is that the reblog:like ratio is nearly 1:1. nobody’s just liking everyone who sees this video goes yeah i gotta inflict it on as many people as possible

one part of ward i keep thinking about that cracks me up is when citrine is saying shit like "im so glad us cauldron capes are well adjusted human beings with none of that nasty trauma twisting our powers unlike natural trigger capes" to number man and hes just standing there and nodding or whatever like girl are you maybe forgetting something.... your husband may have been a cauldron cape (cape working for cauldron) but hes not a cauldron cape (gained powers from cauldron vial) and i think hes easily one of the least 'well adjusted' people you possibly could have married

I love them so much

thinking about creatures.

Tumblr users will see some kind of animal or beast and just slam the reblog button

star trek heritage post (January 2nd, 2018)

telling a joke on tumblr is fun but watch out! if it gets over 1000 notes your joke is automatically exposed to people who have never once heard a joke in their life.

"why would you say that" because it was funny. "but that isn't true" it's the funniest way to express that sentiment. "why would you do that" because it's a joke.

you guys would never believe what's happening to this post

platonic third base: when you get to know someone well enough that they start making mortifyingly specific observations about you

yesterday i was chilling with my friend and there was an ice cream van outside and every time the jingle played i'd look out the window and after the third time i did this my friend said, accurately, 'i think you want to get ice cream but you're scared of the ice cream man.' devastating

This is amazing !!!