PREMIUM SPIDERS

if i dont respond to a message from you i can basically guarantee its not because i dislike you. im just getting attacked by imps and shit all the time genuinely.

dont piss me off. next time you go on a trip im filling your house with galapagos finches. by the time you return, they've evolved to fill your niche. they're a better spouse to your partner. they're a better parent for your child. and? they're a better friend to me than you ever were.

it's not great that every nation in the world seems to believe that if they kill enough civilians, the enemy will give up, even though the deaths of their own civilians would simply make them fight harder

isn't it awesome that red winged blackbirds live so close to humans, are the size of baseballs, and literally just fucking attack them all the time. aren't they so fucking awesome. google red winged blackbird attacks they're so common

i know medical reports have to write things this way, but when i see "dull mood, denies smoking" on my doctor's visit summary i can't help but hear "boring bitch and a croaking liar"

hung out with my young cousin today and she showed me "soul bug school" which is the gap between her toy chest and the wall where she secretly puts every dead bug she finds in the house

Driving around my town trying to find one single burger just one burger or a hot dog but Unfortunately everythings just rubble and twisted scaffolding upstretched and rotting and theres shit on fire and a big black ass sky

Guess i cant do shit anymore Cause the sewers are all muddied with a thousand lonely suicides... And yep, you guessed it: a dark wind blows.